


The Paradise of You (Paradise Trilogy Book Two)

by heckhansol



Series: Paradise Trilogy [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Paradise Part Two, Romance, meanie, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckhansol/pseuds/heckhansol
Summary: "Is there anything you need before we wait for the plane? It's a really long flight.""Straight there?""Straight into JFK. Fourteen hours.""Mmm...no, it's okay.""Are you sure?""We can just talk. We have some catching up to do, right?"





	1. Prologue: August 28 KST; From the Island

“You should have _seen_ this guy I saw walking through the terminal earlier,” he says into his cell phone. He picks a seat in Gate D3, crossing his legs and leaning his head back. “He was—no, listen, Changkyun, he was _hot_. He had this dark vibe with, like, perfect shiny black bangs and black liner and a long black coat.” He shakes his head. “The jawline on that man. Enviable to say the least.

            “No, I didn’t talk to him. I’m about to fly to Los Angeles and he’s probably headed to fucking Jeju or something.

            “Because LA is sunny and full of beautiful people, if you know what I—

            “Boston is freezing, man. I don’t know how you can live there.

            “My flight? Fucking long, that’s what. Almost twelve hours.

            “God, I hope she’s not still there. I think she moved to San Francisco. Worst lover I’ve ever had. Really.” He laughs, leaning his elbow on the armrest. “Fuck no, like twice that many.” A middle-aged man sitting across from him frowns at him. He winks in return. He says into the phone, “Yeah, well, you’re not exactly the most…”

            He trails off, eyes catching on someone passing by his gate. “Shit, Changkyun, it’s him again.

            “Yeah, the guy I was telling you—”

            He sits up, planting both feet on the floor. “No fucking way.” Changkyun keeps talking, asking him what it is, but he’s not listening anymore. Not to his friend.

            _“…you need before we wait for the plane? It’s a really long flight.”_

_“Straight there?”_

_“Straight into JFK. Fourteen hours.”_

_“Mmm…no, it’s okay.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“We can just talk. We have some catching up to do, right?”_

_A soft laugh. “Right.”_

He stares after them. That hair and that sun-tanned skin and that toothy smile. There’s no way. No way after, what, something like a year after leaving that place? No way that he would stumble upon him in the middle of Incheon International. Not the one in black on black—the other one. The one taking hold of his hand. The one from the island.

            _Mingyu_.

            No fucking way.

            He brings his attention back to his phone, grasping the handle of his suitcase. “Yeah—yeah, I’m still here. Yeah, um…holy shit. Listen, I’ll call you back, Changkyun.

            “No, everything’s fine. I’ve just found something of mine. I’ll call you later.” He pauses, smiles halfway, and says, “Actually, I might be coming for a visit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, everyone! I hope you all enjoy this second book as much as you did the first.  
> And as always, thank you for reading.  
> L


	2. August 27; Fragile

Hansol leans his chin on his arms, tapping at the top of Jihoon’s desk. He sighs loudly.

            Jihoon puts his pen down and finally looks over at him. “Did you come all the way up here just to pout?”

            Hansol looks up and frowns. He pushes off the desk and leans back in his chair, slouching. “How’s Mingyu doing?”

            Jihoon gives up on his paperwork and goes to his computer instead. He looks at the screen and says, “He’s come up here to talk at least once a day.”

            Hansol gives a flat face. “You didn’t answer my question.”

            Jihoon lifts a brow at him.

            Hansol huffs. “We all talk to him but you’re the one he really confides in. And Seungkwan obviously, but we can’t pry into that since,” he makes air quotes, “ _the law_.” He rolls his eyes. “So I’m asking you. How is he?”

            Jihoon sighs and looks down. They all care about Mingyu too much to talk about this a lot, but sometimes it has to be done. “He’s managing. He’s…he’s not good yet. But he’s in a better place than last time.”

            Hansol understands. He nods. “At least there’s that much.”

            Jihoon nods too. “He just needs time.”

            Hansol goes back to his arms on the desk. “Yeah. Honestly, I thought what he needed was—”

            “Don’t. There’s no point in that. It’s done.”

            Hansol clicks his tongue. “Ah. I know.” He watches Jihoon work for a few moments. “I actually liked the guy, you know? I think we were friends right away.” He hums and starts flipping the edges of a notepad on Jihoon’s desk before Jihoon brushes him away. Hansol sighs. “Well, I guess we’re guestless for a while again.”

            Jihoon nods. “Until I get another call on that thing,” he motions toward the black telephone on his desk, “Mingyu is the only priority.”

            Hansol nods. “Of course.” He goes on his elbows and rubs his face. “Man, this sucks. I really thought this time was—”

            Jihoon’s phone rings on the desk. Not the black phone—the one that links to the staff house and Apodis. _His_ phone. His cell phone. He doesn’t know the number.

            Hansol stares at it, hands frozen up by his face. The staff almost never get calls. If they want to talk to their family or friends, they make the calls themselves on a shared phone in staff house. So then…what is _this_?

            Jihoon glances at Hansol, then slowly picks up his phone and swipes the call open. “Hello?” He pauses, and his mouth opens. “ _Wonwoo?_ ”

            Hansol’s eyes go wide.

 

…

 

“Hello?”

            “Jihoon, it’s Wonwoo.”

            “ _Wonwoo?_ ” There’s a pause and in the background Wonwoo hears, unmistakably Hansol, _Holy shit._

            Wonwoo tried not to do this. He really did. He knows that Mingyu is probably a lot better off without him. He tried over these last three weeks to forget it, to force himself to get over Mingyu because he knows he might end up only hurting Mingyu more if he tried to go back into his life. He tried to stop feeling for Mingyu.

            But it didn’t work. How long did he debate with himself over whether or not he should make this call? He feels like it was a year’s worth of thinking about it, but really he knows better. He knows that the moment he got the idea to call, he already knew he was going to do it, no matter how much he tried to talk himself out of it for what are really good reasons. He knew this would be happening. What he doesn’t know is what is going to come out of it. He wouldn’t be at all surprised if Jihoon hung up the phone right now and left Wonwoo to sit alone in his temporary office here in Seoul to wonder what he thought he was even trying to do.

            But Jihoon doesn’t. He says, “How did you get my number?”

            “Um…I have a friend.” In reality, he got one of the new interns in his Seoul tech department—young kid named Taeyang—to hack his way into the Apodis system, and he found the numbers for the important people at each location, and since there are only four island locations scattered across the globe, it was easy for him to find the names of Wonwoo’s friends. At least, he hopes they’re still his friends. Wonwoo considered calling Seungcheol, but they taught him that there’s one big difference between the two managers—Seungcheol manages internally, but Jihoon manages everything coming into and out of the island, including people. So yeah, he got an intern to hack in so he could make his case to Jihoon. He figures he probably shouldn’t tell Jihoon that.

            Jihoon says, “You hacked us?”

            Wonwoo clears his throat, brushing away the piece of paper on his desk with Jihoon’s number written on it. “Let’s not talk about that. You must know why I’m calling.”

            Jihoon scoffs. “It’s been almost three weeks, Wonwoo, and you’re suddenly deciding to call?” He pauses, and Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. Jihoon says reluctantly into the phone, “It’s not good. He’s a mess here.”

            Wonwoo puts his face in his hand. Of course it’s not good. God knows he understands the feeling. He’s exactly the same. “Yeah. Me too.”

            “I could guess.”

            “Yeah…”

            “What is it you want, Wonwoo?”

            Wonwoo shrinks under Jihoon’s scalding tone. He can see Jihoon clearly in his mind, sitting at his own desk up on the mountain, leaned back in the chair and looking seriously at the wall as if, could he concentrate hard enough, his gaze would actually reach Wonwoo all the way here in Seoul. Wonwoo knows that Jihoon treating him this way is all because he wants to protect Mingyu, like everyone on the island. He gets it. But he wants to help. He wants to protect Mingyu, too. He wants to try to give Mingyu a reason to not have to be protected anymore. Back when he was still on the island, on the night when he made love to Mingyu and they talked about important things, he thought he was at the point where he was going to be able to do that. He thought he had done enough to make Mingyu able to trust him. He thought they were going to work. Now, for three weeks, he’s been sure that they wouldn’t.

            But that doesn’t mean he’ll stop trying. Not when he feels so much for Mingyu even after being away from him for this long. He wants to know badly if Mingyu still feels as much for him too.

            But he can’t try if he’s hundreds or thousands of miles away. He takes a deep breath and says, “I want to prove myself.”

            Jihoon laughs without humor. “That’s a very good answer, Wonwoo. A very politic answer. Did you plan that one?”

            Wonwoo looks down. No, he didn’t plan it. But he understands Jihoon’s caution, and how Jihoon has to be on his guard for someone who’s just playing him, and who wants to play Mingyu. Wonwoo isn’t even capable of that. But he knows just how much Jihoon cares about Mingyu, and what lengths he’ll go to protect him. “No, I…I mean it.”

            Wonwoo can really feel the serious, intense look on Jihoon’s face. “Are you asking to come back?”

            Wonwoo bites his cheek. “I…I don’t know.”

            Maybe he said it in a certain way that told Jihoon everything, because Jihoon says, “Jesus Christ. You want him to come to you.”

            If Wonwoo is finally being honest with himself, yes, he does. He has his job and he can’t spend all his time away on what’s basically a vacation on an island—no matter how important to him that vacation would be. He loves his job, and he does have to work. He can’t take the time off that he would need to be with Mingyu on that island. But if Mingyu came to be with him…

            And there’s that, too. It might be terrible of him to think, because Wonwoo knows how much Mingyu adores the island and the people on it, but Wonwoo thinks Mingyu needs a change of scenery. He needs to spend some time away from the place where all of that happened to him, at least for a little while. Wonwoo hopes that time in another place, and hopefully time with him, will be a sort of healing for Mingyu.

            He says, “Yes, I—”

            “Listen to me, Wonwoo. I’ll cut right to the chase. Mingyu still…he still has feelings for you. You still have feelings for him. That much is perfectly obvious to you and to me and to everyone here. But if I send him there to you and you fuck it up, he’ll be ruined. He is _so fragile_. I doubt he can even take the plane on his own. This place is all he’s known for a very long time. He’s not good at taking care of himself. You two are very opposite in one respect—your emotional intelligence. Socially, Mingyu is great, but he’s no good at dealing with his own feelings. You may be a nervous wreck but you’re still the other way around. So for him, going to you who makes him so conflicted internally will be hard enough, but if you do something that…” He stops and trails off. He sighs again. “He can’t take much more of this.”

            Wonwoo takes a moment to think while Jihoon is silent. And he says, “I know, Jihoon. And I know that I can’t and shouldn’t promise you anything, but I want to tell you that I’ll do everything it takes to make him feel like he’s comfortable and happy. I want him to be able to trust me. I feel like…I…I can’t spend all my time there and I know that taking him away from the island and from you all will be hard on him, but I’ll be here for him. I pro—” He shakes his head. “All I can say is that I _will_ try. I will.”

            Jihoon sighs again. “I know you will, Wonwoo. I know what kind of person you are.”

            Is that…a compliment? Is Jihoon saying he likes Wonwoo, sort of? Or is Wonwoo just crazy. “I’ll do my absolute best for him. I’m not totally sure what that takes, but I’ll learn about him and do what I can as we go along. I’m willing to make the effort, and if it takes a little more time off from my work, so be it. At least I’m in a place where I won’t have to leave him if something comes up. I know that he’s very scared of being abandoned. Especially…by someone he cares about.”

            Jihoon doesn’t answer for a while. Wonwoo is sure that Jihoon is going to give him an absolute no, tell him he’s being ridiculous and selfish and to never call again so that Mingyu can have as much of a normal life as possible without him there. But instead, Jihoon says, “I think he would like to see you.”

            Wonwoo sits up a little straighter. “He would?”

            “He’s still upset, but even he knows how he operates. He knows that he made the decision really suddenly and that he misses you a lot. I don’t know if he necessarily wants you back—he hasn’t talked to me very much about that sort of thing. But…I think he wouldn’t be upset to see you.”

            Wonwoo hates himself for feeling butterflies and having his hopes up when Mingyu is still suffering, but he does anyway. “You think he would be okay with it?”

            Wonwoo can hear Jihoon leaning forward in his chair. “I think that it might be okay to suggest it to him.”

            Mingyu’s choice. Of course. But still, “What do _you_ think about it?” Wonwoo asks.

            “Me?” Jihoon laughs humorlessly again. “I think you’re totally crazy. I think this whole thing has got us all pretty messed up, especially you and Mingyu.”

            Wonwoo nods. “I know…”

            “But I also know that he does still have feelings for you. Wonwoo…if it would make him happy to see you…”

            _Then that’s all you care about,_ Wonwoo thinks. Jihoon loves Mingyu unconditionally—Wonwoo knows that very well. Mingyu needs more of that positive regard in his life after having so much negative in his past. Wonwoo wants to give it. “We all want him to be happy,” Wonwoo says.

            Wonwoo waits for Jihoon to give him a yes or a no. Jihoon says, “Where would we even send him to you?”

            Wonwoo keeps himself calm—that isn’t a yes yet, only a question. “I’m in Seoul now. I’m leaving for New York tomorrow.”

            It’s like Wonwoo can feel Jihoon’s brows go up. “Wow. You won’t even let him be in a familiar culture?”

            Wonwoo pales. He didn’t even think of that. But he doesn’t have a choice. “I…my work and…”

            “I’m sorry,” Jihoon says. “That wasn’t…I know you’ll do your best, Wonwoo. We’re just worried for him, that’s all.”

            Wonwoo nods. “I understand. Look…if it’s an issue, I can fly him in. I can cover everything if you—”

            “We don’t need that, Wonwoo. You’d just need to have yourself ready for what’s coming.”

            Wonwoo shuts up. “Of course.”

            Jihoon sighs again. “And this is all dependent on if he even agrees to go to you.”

            Wonwoo nods fast. “Yes, I—of course it is.”

            Jihoon pauses one more time. After a moment he says, “Hansol is giving me the death glare to say yes to you and go talk to him.”

            Wonwoo truly smiles for the first time in almost three weeks.

 

…

 

**August 28 KST**

Wonwoo is surprised the terminal isn’t more crowded as he stands waiting. He thought he’d have to be weaving his way through a crowd to make sure he could be seen, but there are surprisingly few people standing here. That’s good. It should help a little with the shock and anxiety.

            He shifts his hand on his suitcase, sweaty. He remembers going back home from the island three weeks ago, unpacking his suitcase and repacking it with clothes for work. He remembers picking the suitcase up off his bed and finding a little bit of sand on his comforter from the wheels. He remembers how that made him feel at that point—not that much was coming through by then. He was fairly numb for a while until he had the idea to call.

            But none of that numbness and sadness matters now. The moment Wonwoo got a call back from Jihoon yesterday afternoon—not five hours after he’d called in the first place—he had the immediate feeling that he knew the answer. He knew Mingyu had said yes. And when he picked up the phone, Jihoon had told him exactly that. And so Wonwoo had worked on overdrive for the rest of the day, getting everything done and talking to everyone he needed to before he went back to his hotel and packed everything into his suitcase to go back to New York tomorrow.

            Or, today. And now here he is in the terminal by Gate C in Incheon International, right on time, waiting for—

            He looks up at the escalator. His heart races way faster than he expected and his palm is even sweatier on his suitcase handle and he shifts awkwardly on his feet because there, stepping on and coming way too slowly down, is Mingyu, feet nervously together, bag clutched in his hands in front of him, staring around the terminal with wide eyes until they finally meet Wonwoo’s.

            Wonwoo brings his hand up in a weak half wave.

            Mingyu smiles at him and waves back.

            Wonwoo isn’t sure if he can breathe. He waits, watching Mingyu as he reaches the bottom of the escalator and walks over to him, standing just in front of him as other people walk around them.

            Mingyu’s voice is just as shy as Wonwoo remembers. “Hi, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo forgets to answer for a second. Mingyu is… _so_ beautiful. The image that has been in Wonwoo’s mind for this time pales in comparison to the real Mingyu. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he was ever going to see Mingyu in person again. But here he is, standing right in front of him and smiling shyly and chewing his lip like Wonwoo knows he does when he’s nervous. Finally Wonwoo manages to say, “Hi, Mingyu.”

            “You didn’t hold up a sign like in the movies.” He smiles a little bigger.

            Wonwoo blinks. “Oh…I didn’t think of it.”

            Mingyu giggles softly. It makes Wonwoo’s heart too big. “That’s okay.”

            Wonwoo wins the fight against his urge to kiss Mingyu. He knows that would be very inappropriate right now. That may not even happen today at all. He’s not sure where they stand at this point. He’s just glad he gets to see Mingyu again. “Okay.”

            Mingyu nods. “Um…” He looks down for a second, then puts his bag on the floor and stares back at Wonwoo. “Do you want…?” He puts his arms out a little.

            It takes Wonwoo a second to understand that Mingyu is asking if he wants to hug him. Wonwoo only just realizes now that they’ve never hugged before. They’ve kissed and slept together and had their arms around each other for other reasons but they’ve never just _hugged_. Of course he wants to.

            He puts his arms out too, and Mingyu wraps his arms around his shoulders. Wonwoo holds Mingyu close around his waist. It’s a little awkward, and he’s not sure how long he’s supposed to hug Mingyu, but after a few moments they pull away naturally enough. Mingyu laughs softly again, still chewing his lip. “Thank you.”

            Wonwoo stares into his gorgeous eyes. “You don’t need to thank me.”

            Mingyu nods. “I did say that, didn’t I.”

            Wonwoo smiles.

            Mingyu tilts his head, eyes travelling over Wonwoo’s features. “You look…different.”

            Wonwoo’s first thought is that he probably looks like a total wreck because of how he’s felt for three weeks. No amount of product has been able to cover the look on his face. But he feels like that’s long gone now, with Mingyu here. “In what way?”

            Mingyu shrugs, tilting his head to the other side. “I don’t know. You just look…I don’t know.” He laughs. “I can’t tell. It’s a good way, though. You look…nice.” His cheeks pink with a blush.

            Wonwoo had no idea just how much he missed that blush.

            “Can I get a hug, too?”

            Mingyu turns around and Wonwoo looks past him to see Hansol hopping down off the escalator, and Jihoon close behind him.

            “Hansol,” Wonwoo says, grinning. He missed Hansol a lot too. Not as much as Mingyu, but still.

            Hansol comes over to them and gives Wonwoo his signature hand on the shoulder. “Hey man. This one ran away from us when we got off the plane,” he says, motioning to Mingyu. “He was excited.”

            Mingyu blushes harder and smiles at the floor.

            Hansol grins at him, then at Wonwoo. “It’s good to see you, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo feels like things are starting to become normal again, though he knows it’s the farthest from that it could be. “You too, Hansol. And you, Jihoon.” He bows low to the other.

            Jihoon nods back. “Hello, Wonwoo. I’m not going to give you a spiel or anything because you know what I have to say. And I know what you told me over the phone.”

            That he will try. He will do everything he can for Mingyu. He nods. “Yes. Of course.” There’s a bit of a pause. Wonwoo says, “I, uh—I can’t believe you guys came along.”

            “I was nervous to be on the plane alone,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo remembers Jihoon saying that. “That’s okay. I’ve never loved it either. Is it only you two?”

            “Yup,” Hansol says. “I know, not much of a party.”

            Wonwoo nods. “I would have thought Seungcheol would make it too.”

            Jihoon shakes his head. “We could have dragged everyone along but it would have been too much. You would have been bombarded with people other than the most important one.”

            Wonwoo glances at Mingyu, who only looks into his eyes, smiling.

            “And Seungcheol is manager but he’s more like HR. I know how to work these things. Besides,” Jihoon says, “Mingyu is my responsibility.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Right. I know you two are close.”

            “Did he ever tell you why?” Hansol asks.

            Wonwoo shakes his head as Jihoon gives Hansol a blank look. “Mingyu said you’ve been friends for a while.”

            Jihoon nods and looks over at Mingyu. “Almost all our lives. I guess you could say he’s sort of my cousin. Far removed, godparents involved. More of a family friend, I suppose. But we don’t really think of it that way.” Mingyu smiles at him fondly. “We’re family, even if it’s not by blood.”

            Wonwoo nods. “That’s why you two had the job together before.”

            Jihoon nods at Mingyu. “It is.”

            “Like I said—he’s always been there for me,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo might have guessed that much. With how much he knows Jihoon cares about Mingyu, and how much Jihoon will do for him, plus everything Mingyu said about how they’d known each other through college and through work. And even through childhood, if that photo in Jihoon’s office has anything to say of it. “So that photo you have on your shelf?” Wonwoo says.

            “He wouldn’t let me keep one in my room,” Mingyu says, pouting at Jihoon. “I think he’s embarrassed of me.”

            Jihoon shakes his head. “Not at all. And I just wasn’t ready to tell you yet, Wonwoo.”

            “And here you have the man with all the secrets and the man with absolutely none,” Hansol says.

            Wonwoo chuckles. “No, it’s all right. It’s not really my business anyway.”

            “Speaking of,” Mingyu says quietly, then shuts his mouth.

            Wonwoo smiles at him. “We’ll see how it goes, okay? If I need to take more time off, I’m happy to. Since you’ll be staying with me, I won’t have to leave you if something comes up. Sound okay?” He asks it to Mingyu, but he looks at Jihoon.

            Thankfully, Jihoon nods at him.

            “Yeah,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo nods again. “Good. The plan is for work to run very smoothly for…however long, um…” He looks at Mingyu, who only stares at him.

            “We did bring our stuff,” Hansol says, motioning to his and Jihoon’s bags. “But we do have an island to run.”

            “We’re only here for a few days, maybe a week,” Jihoon says. “At that point, Mingyu can decide if he wants to stay longer or come back with us.”

            “Sounds like the rules of the island,” Wonwoo says, then hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s complaining. He’s not. Any time with Mingyu is good time.

            Luckily, Jihoon only half shrugs, lifting the handle of his suitcase back up. “They’re made that way for a reason.”

            Hansol nudges Wonwoo and says, “You just decided to mix things up a bit.”

            Wonwoo keeps a blush back. He gets mixed feelings when he remembers adding his second week. It was a good and bad time, but overall a very important one, because he learned about Mingyu. It will help him with this next amount of time with him, however long that will be. “Right.”

            “Ah, the famous line,” Hansol says walking over to Jihoon. “I missed that.”

            Wonwoo smiles, but then gives a questioning look. “Are you two on our flight?”

            Hansol shakes his head. “We’re flying in to New York tomorrow. Gonna spend a while in Seoul. Missed this place too.”

            “Don’t eat too much without me,” Mingyu says.

            “Ah, come here,” Hansol says. Mingyu goes to him and they hug briefly. And then Mingyu smiles small at Jihoon, who looks reluctant (though Wonwoo knows he isn’t) to give Mingyu a hug too. Even though their heights disagree, Mingyu still somehow seems smaller than Jihoon as they embrace. Wonwoo gets it.

            And then Mingyu straightens and wheels his suitcase over to stand next to Wonwoo. Wonwoo feels a sort of finality then, like this switching of people has made it _real_. Mingyu is flying to New York to live with him for some as of now undetermined amount of time. To stay in his apartment with him. To eat with him and walk around the city with him and sleep in the same place and wake up with him and who knows what else. Something about Mingyu coming to stand next to him now makes him realize that this is all actually happening. Wonwoo couldn’t be much happier.

            “Okay,” Mingyu says. “Bye guys.” He waves small.

            “Goodbye,” Jihoon says. “Just call if you need anything, okay? Either one of you.”

            Wonwoo feels for some reason really good about that.

            Mingyu nods fast. “Okay. Thank you.”

            “And we’ll be calling for your answer in a few days.”

            Mingyu and Wonwoo both nod.

            “Don’t have too much fun without me,” Hansol says.

            Mingyu giggles. “Wonwoo? Fun?”

            Wonwoo’s mouth opens a little. “Ah—I can be fun.”

            “Sure,” Hansol says, rolling his eyes, but Wonwoo can see his half smile on his lips. Maybe things really are becoming normal again. Whatever normal means. “Come on, Jihoon. I’m picking you out something pink in Hongdae. Bye.” He smiles and waves behind him.

            Jihoon waves too, and they turn to make their way down and out of the airport.

            Mingyu turns to Wonwoo and smiles.

            Wonwoo takes a deep breath. It starts now. His time of working hard to make sure that Mingyu feels _okay_. To make sure that Mingyu knows he can trust him. To show Mingyu that he really does care about him. That he really does feel for him.

            He returns the smile and says, “All right. Should we go?”

            Mingyu nods and follows Wonwoo’s lead out of the terminal. “Where are we headed?”

            “Gate F,” Wonwoo says, pointing to the sign. “We have to go through D and E to get there.”

            “Okay.”

            Wonwoo doesn’t know how to answer or what to say, and he spends so long thinking about it that he figures he might as well not. Should he thank Mingyu now? Or would that make things awkward? Should he thank him at all? What are they supposed to talk about? Wonwoo isn’t uncomfortable in the same way that he was when he arrived at the island, but just about as much as he was then. Now he feels like the sort of bond he had made with Mingyu is gone. He hopes he can rebuild it. He’ll certainly try.

            They make it through F and pass under the sign for Gate D. Wonwoo taps his finger on his suitcase handle as they walk in somewhat awkward silence. Eventually he says, “Nervous about the trip?”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “Since you’re with me, I’ll be okay.”

            Wonwoo smiles inside. “Is there anything you need before we wait for the plane? It’s a really long flight.”

            “Straight there?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo nods, looking up at the signs as they pass by D4 and D3. “Straight into JFK. Fourteen hours.”

            Mingyu sighs, thinking. “Mmm…no, it’s okay.”

            Wonwoo looks over at him. “Are you sure?”

            “We can just talk,” Mingyu says, smiling at him. “We have some catching up to do, right?”

            Wonwoo supposes they do, after three weeks of not being able to do much but think about each other. Or at least, that’s how it was for Wonwoo. He laughs softly. “Right.”

            Mingyu smiles and chews his lip. “Mhm… Wonwoo?”

            “Yes?”

            “Are we going to hold hands?”

            Wonwoo looks at him. Mingyu has that very recognizable expression on—sort of curious, sort of sad, sort of worried. It was the same look Mingyu had when Wonwoo first kissed him and he said he liked it, and when Mingyu asked if he could sleep in Wonwoo’s bed again after running away from him for days. The look like Wonwoo might say no to him, might reject him.

            But how could he?

            Wonwoo nods slightly. “If you want to.”

            Mingyu takes his hand, dovetailing their fingers immediately. He smiles small at Wonwoo, blushing a little again, then looks forward as they pass through Gate E.


	3. August 28 EST; Something About This City

_Attention, passengers. We’ll be landing in New York City in John F. Kennedy International Airport in just a few minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts and put away all electronics for landing. Thank you for flying._

           

            The last time Wonwoo heard those words, he could hardly even blink with the way he felt. He thanks everything there is that this time he feels ten thousand times better, and that he gets to turn to his side and look at Mingyu.

            Mingyu was nervous at first, gripping onto the arm of his seat as they rose off the runway and into the air. But after not even an hour, he was much more relaxed, talking to Wonwoo like he does when he’s totally comfortable, giggling a little too loud sometimes and blushing as he ducked his head down to hide from the other passengers. Wonwoo isn’t sure how much time they spent talking, and he honestly can’t even recall what they talked about. The fact that they could spend hours next to each other, discussing a bunch of nothing, making the worst possible jokes, and looking right at each other the whole time means a lot to Wonwoo. He also knows that they should have talked about more important things—about what happened on the island, about why Mingyu is coming to New York with him now. But he’s also sort of glad they didn’t. He wants Mingyu to be comfortable, and with how they were interacting, he was. Comfortable enough, apparently, to fall asleep.

            Mingyu is a very pretty sleeper. He doesn’t frown like a lot of people do. His eyes are gently shut and his head is tilted just slightly sideways; his hair falls in his face and his quiet breaths move easy in and out. He’s been asleep for a long time now, and Wonwoo has had to force himself not to stare otherwise he might seem creepy to the other passengers. He wonders what they think of him and Mingyu. Do they think they’re together? _Are_ they together?

            Slight turbulence bumps the plane, making Mingyu’s head loll sideways. He nods, and his eyes squint and he starts to yawn. Wonwoo smiles and puts a hand on his arm. “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu stretches his shoulders and rubs his face, blinking his eyes open and smiling over at Wonwoo. “I fell asleep.”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “You did. Sleep well?” Mingyu nods happily. “Who were you dreaming of?” Wonwoo asks.

            Mingyu’s smile widens. “Ah…you remember.”

            “Of course.”

            Mingyu sticks out his lower lip. It reminds Wonwoo that he wants to kiss Mingyu, but he still thinks it’s not time yet. He’s not sure when it will be time. Whenever Mingyu is ready. “I don’t think I dreamed,” Mingyu says.

            Well, Mingyu was more honest than him. Not that Wonwoo is at all offended. “You know, apparently we dream every night, but most of the time we can’t remember them?”

            Mingyu tilts his head. “Really? I guess I forget mine a lot then.”

            Wonwoo smiles. “Me too.”

            The plane touches ground suddenly, landing not very smoothly. Mingyu’s hand shoots over and grabs Wonwoo’s, squeezing too tight, and his eyes are wide in shock before he manages to relax. His shoulders go down and he sighs, easing pressure on Wonwoo’s hand. “Sorry…”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s okay. Scared me too.”

            Mingyu nods in embarrassment.

            Wonwoo squeezes his hand. “Ready to see my city?”

            Mingyu grins. “Yes. I’m excited. New York is supposed to be fancy right? Especially Manhattan.”

            Wonwoo hums. “Don’t get your hopes too high. I’ll tell you a secret—I sort of hate New York.”

            Mingyu looks confused. “Then why do you live here?”

            “Because I love my job,” he says, shrugging one shoulder. “My work is the most important thing to me.”

            He frowns a little. Did he just lie to himself? Why does he feel like that might not be right anymore? Why does his heart insist that what he just said is wrong when his brain knows he should know better? Maybe he’s getting way ahead of himself.

            Thankfully, Mingyu just smiles and nods. “That’s honorable. I guess you would be super rich in anything if you love your job that much.”

            Wonwoo laughs once. Sometimes he forgets that he makes a lot of money. “Oh yeah. Thank you, I suppose.”

            The passengers start standing from their seats, and so Wonwoo gives Mingyu’s hand a quick squeeze before going to the overhead compartment to get their things.

 

They exit the plane, wait for their bags, and head out of the airport once they finally get them, pulling them along behind them.

            “Yours looks heavier than mine,” Mingyu says, glancing at Wonwoo’s black suitcase.

            “It probably is,” Wonwoo says. “Suit material is surprisingly heavy.”

            Mingyu smiles. “That’s right—you’ve been working. By the way, you look really good in that suit.”

            Wonwoo looks down at himself. He forgot he was even wearing one, but it was all he had left from his trip to Seoul. He supposes he’s used to seeing himself like this, but he realizes that Mingyu has never seen him in a suit. Well…he’s glad Mingyu likes it since this is what he wears almost every day to work. “Oh. Thank you.”

            “Really good,” Mingyu says again, and Wonwoo watches Mingyu’s eyes go from his shoes all the way up to his hair and back down to meet his gaze. He feels tingles run along his skin from that look. But he has to tell himself to stop because it’s Mingyu’s first day here with him and his first time ever in New York and maybe even America and now is _not_ the time to be thinking about intimacy with Mingyu. Mingyu stepping close to him and sliding his jacket off his shoulders; Mingyu tilting his head and sighing as Wonwoo kisses his neck and breathes in his familiar fresh smell like the ocean is a part of him, and whispers to him how thankful he is that Mingyu decided to—

            _Enough_. Wonwoo doesn’t even know what Mingyu decided. Yes, he’s here, but what does that mean? What does that mean for _them_? This is what they needed to talk about, but Wonwoo thinks they’re both still too nervous to bring it up.

            He swallows and says, “Did you bring very much?” He realizes as he asks it that he’s trying to figure out how long Mingyu thinks he’ll be staying.

            Mingyu shrugs. “Honestly, Chan and I just threw a bunch of stuff in here.”

            Wonwoo smiles thinking of his friend from the island. Every time he remembers how sad Chan looked when he had to say goodbye, how his chin trembled and he bowed too low to hide it, Wonwoo feels a little pain in his chest. But now, thinking about Chan excited for Mingyu to come here and helping him pack up (at least, he hopes that’s how he was) after Hansol left him the job so he could pack his own things, that bit of pain turns into a little bit more of happiness. “That’s all right,” he says.

            “I don’t even know how many outfits I have. You have a laundry room, right?”

            Wonwoo nods. It’s not exactly the answer he was hoping for, but not a bad one either, he hopes. “I do.”

            “Good. I’m not used to doing my own laundry.”

            “Do you know how?”

            Mingyu looks over at him, flat faced. “Yes. And I know how to read, too, so I think I can handle the instructions if yours is vastly different from what I’ve used before.”

            Wonwoo puts his free hand up and looks at the ground in surrender. “Got it. Sorry.”

            They laugh. Wonwoo shifts his suitcase to the other hand.

            “Can’t you call someone to pick these up and take them to your house?” Mingyu asks. They stop on the sidewalk where people are being picked up and driven away. Mingyu puts out his hand without even saying anything, looking off at the traffic out on the roads.

            Wonwoo looks at it momentarily, then realizes that his hand closest to Mingyu is free now. He smiles a little and holds Mingyu’s hand. “Apartment, actually. And…I’ve never done that before.” Mingyu smiles over at him. “I always just take them myself?”

            Mingyu raises his eyebrows and says, “Wonwoo, did you know that you’re rich?”

            Wonwoo laughs. “I guess sometimes I forget.”

            Mingyu smiles sweetly, squeezing Wonwoo’s hand. Wonwoo likes it, and he missed it so much. He’s felt that squeeze on his hand, on his arm, on lots of different parts of his body.

            Jesus. He needs to stop. _Why_ is Mingyu so alluring that Wonwoo can’t keep his eyes off him for two seconds or his mind off him for even less than that?

            “Of course you would,” Mingyu says. “Well then, call us a car and we’ll wheel them along ourselves, huh?”

            Wonwoo grins. “Call us a car. How about…” He walks Mingyu over to the edge of the sidewalk and steps one foot off the curb, waving and hailing a cab immediately.

            “Yellow taxi!” Mingyu says. “You don’t even have a chauffeur?”

            Wonwoo chuckles and says, “I guess you could say I have thousands of chauffeurs.”

            The cab driver stops in front of them and opens the trunk to take their suitcases. Wonwoo opens the door for Mingyu, who smiles and scoots in, Wonwoo sitting next to him.

            “You do tip, right?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo nods. “American culture, of course.”

            Mingyu smiles halfway and says, “Do you do the math or do you just pull out a hundred and hand it over?”

            Wonwoo blushes a little and looks sideways. “I don’t like math.”

            Mingyu giggles.

            “Where to?” the driver asks in English.

            Mingyu stares at Wonwoo as he gives his address, and they start out toward the road.

            “I’m going to hear the most English I’ve ever heard in my life in about twenty minutes, aren’t I?” Mingyu says, eyes big.

            Wonwoo smiles. “Well, American, if that makes a difference.”

            Mingyu giggles again. He grabs Wonwoo’s hand again too, lacing their fingers between them. “I just realized something.”

            “What’s that?”

            “It’s yesterday,” Mingyu says, smiling big.

            Wonwoo nods and squeezes his hand. “Consider it fourteen hours gained.”

            “More time with you.” Mingyu gazes into his eyes.

            Christ, if Wonwoo didn’t miss that look and Mingyu’s sweet face. But he really needs to make sure they’re both clear headed about this. New York is even less fantasy than the island, and he needs to be sure that they don’t get caught up in things right away. Mingyu still needs care and safety, and Wonwoo needs to provide that.

            And he _still_ doesn’t know where they stand at this point.

            He squeezes Mingyu’s hand a little more. “Mhm. Actually…do you want to see where I work every day?”

            Mingyu lights up immediately. “Yes!”

            Wonwoo smiles and starts to turn toward the driver. “Okay, let’s—”

            “Wait. Wonwoo?”

            Wonwoo stops and turns back to him. “Yes?”

            Mingyu shifts his fingers in Wonwoo’s, and taps his others on his leg. “Is it bad now if I ask you to kiss me?”

            Wonwoo blinks. So Mingyu does want to, and apparently he’s ready to. What’s going on right now? Wonwoo needs answers badly, but he doesn’t think either of them have them yet. He can’t expect Mingyu to be sure of anything either. Mingyu is probably doing just what Wonwoo is—trying his best. And now he’s asking Wonwoo to kiss him. Does he feel like he has to ask? Are they starting over? Starting back where they left off? Or did it never end?

            Wonwoo’s heart is beating fast, like it did when he first met Mingyu. Maybe it’s the change of setting, maybe it’s the fact that he’s just as clueless now as he was then. But it certainly isn’t an unwanted flutter. “Of course not,” he says quietly. “Um…where?”

            Mingyu leans over, pressing their lips together gently. It’s not a long kiss—really chaste, really soft. But Wonwoo gets to feel Mingyu close to him again, and he gets to see Mingyu’s pretty pink blush when he pulls away and smiles at his knees. That’s all that matters.

            Wonwoo takes a second to try and let himself calm down before turning to the driver and giving the new address, Mingyu’s hand still tight in his.

 

…

 

They’re met with a lot of _Lovely to see you_ ’s and _Great to have you back, sir_ ’s as they walk in the first floor of one of the multiple black skyscrapers. When they pulled up to it, Mingyu had said—through his sad face over Wonwoo saying they couldn’t hold hands in the lobby—that this building fits Wonwoo perfectly. Wonwoo can’t say he hasn’t thought that about himself more than once.

            “Mr. Jeon,” one of the men says. “We’ve just had your office cleaned for your arrival. Welcome back. And welcome here, sir,” he says, putting a hand out to Mingyu.

            Mingyu doesn’t know everything they’re saying because of the English, but he does understand a greeting. He grins proudly and sticks out his hand, shaking, and giving his best pronunciation as he says, “Hello.”

            “Thank you, Cory,” Wonwoo says, in a much better accent than Mingyu. “This is Mingyu.” He tries to think of something else to say, but he doesn’t really know how else to introduce Mingyu since he doesn’t even know what they are, and _This is the sexual partner I paid to be on vacation with but who I’ve also developed feelings for which is why I’ve brought him here_ is probably too much information for the guys at the desk. “Um…is there any way we could leave our bags down here for a while?”

            “Absolutely,” Cory says. “Right behind the desk all right?”

            “Just fine.” Wonwoo watches Mingyu look surprised over his shoulder as his suitcase gets taken from him by an employee and brought around the giant front desk. Wonwoo smiles and says, “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He turns to Mingyu and switches back to Korean. “Come with me.”

            Mingyu smiles and nods. When they make it down the hallway and into the elevator, Mingyu sighs heavily and says, “English overload.”

            Wonwoo tries not to laugh because of how little he actually said as he presses the button and the doors close. He wonders what Mingyu would think if he heard Wonwoo on a conference call for a few hours. “I had to learn for the job. Now it’s second nature. They call it code switching, I think.”

            “That’s cool,” Mingyu says. He looks up at the rising numbers on the screen. “How high are we going?”

            Wonwoo follows his gaze. “As high as it can.”

            “All the way up?”

            Wonwoo shrugs. “Well, since I’m part owner of the company…”

            Mingyu nods. “Oh yeah. Is this the company building?”

            “The only true company building is in Seoul. This is just an office building. There are a few other companies that work out of here.”

            “But you get the top office cause you’re the richest,” Mingyu says, nudging him.

            Wonwoo shrugs again. “CEOs and partners get the top few floors. I guess I was just lucky to get the actual highest.”

            Mingyu nods again. He can’t stand still while the elevator goes up. Wonwoo appreciates his excitement over what is truly mundane to him. “So will I find out what you do?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo looks over at him and smiles. “We’re almost there. Four more floors. Still not afraid of heights?”

            “Still afraid of them?” Mingyu says, lifting a coy eyebrow.

            Wonwoo smiles and watches the doors open in front of them. “Follow me.”

            Mingyu does. The woman behind the desk greets them with a small hello in Korean, to which they bow. Mingyu pokes Wonwoo’s shoulder. “Is she your employee?” he asks as they round the curve of the building.

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “Just the desk. She’s learned some Korean over time.”

            “Just so she can greet you? Should I be jealous?”

            Actually, Wonwoo’s never really thought about it. He supposes she might be attracted to him. Unfortunately she’s not quite his type. He almost immediately says no, of course not, but instead he smiles and says, “You should be _very_ jealous.”

            Mingyu gasps quietly. “ _Wonwoo_.” He pokes him again.

            Wonwoo chuckles and points ahead. “Here it is.”

            Mingyu stares up to the ceiling. “These giant things?”

            “I know,” Wonwoo says, looking at the huge wooden doors that lead into his office. His name is engraved in both English and Hangeul into a gold plate on the right one. “I thought it was a little over the top when I first got here, too. This is just how it is, I guess.”

            “You’re so fancy. Let’s go inside.” Mingyu grabs one handle and shoves through the door.

            Wonwoo watches him run in, straight for the landscape windows that make up the far wall, putting his arms out and smacking his hands against the glass. He’s very reminded of Mingyu’s childish nature, and the reason behind it. He swallows.

            “Whoa! This is so cool! I can see the whole city.”

            “Sort of enchanting from up here, isn’t it?” Wonwoo says, pushing his thoughts away and going to his chair, laying his coat over the back, glad it’s off his arm.

            “Enchanting,” Mingyu repeats, looking over his shoulder at Wonwoo. And then his eyes go to the side of the room and he turns again. “Whoa. You even have your own bathroom?”

            Wonwoo shrugs, putting his hands on his hips while he watches Mingyu go and look inside the door as if anything more exciting than a toilet and sink would be in there. “It’s convenient at least.”

            “Like Jihoon,” Mingyu says into the bathroom. He turns around again and grins, shutting the door. “So cool. This office is huge. The windows and the bathroom and the desk and the couches and coffee table. All that’s missing is an indoor hot tub and you’ve got the opening to a hotel suite. And a minibar.” He nods like that’s exactly it.

            Wonwoo chuckles. He actually had a minibar, but he never used it so he gave it to the guy from FedEx across the rotunda when his stopped freezing ice. Too bad—maybe he could have made one of Mingyu’s weird martinis. “Just an office, unfortunately,” he says.

            “Unfortunately nothing,” Mingyu says, coming back over to him. “This is the second coolest place to work in ever.”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “Second coolest?”

            Now Mingyu shrugs. “Well, besides a private island.”

            There’s a light knock on the door. They both turn to it. “Come in,” Wonwoo calls. As soon as the door opens his eyes widen and a smile graces his lips. “Dokyun?”

            “Hello, Wonwoo.” Dokyun bows, impeccable suit hardly even crinkling, glasses not daring to shift on his face.

            Wonwoo bows back. “You’re here! I was wondering where you were back in Seoul.”

            Dokyun smiles. “They said they needed me just over three weeks ago, so I flew in. Left Hakyeon in charge back in Seoul until you got here if that’s all right.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Of course. This is your first time in New York.”

            “Mine too!” Mingyu says.

            Dokyun smiles politely at him. “I hope it treats you as well as it’s treating me.” He bows. “Na Dokyun. I’ve been working for and with Wonwoo for about five years now. It’s nice to meet you.”

            Mingyu bows back. “Kim Mingyu. I think I’m Wonwoo’s boyfriend but we haven’t talked about it yet.”

            Wonwoo freezes, blushing hard. Is that what Mingyu thought they were back then? Is that something Mingyu has been considering? Giving them that label? “Oh. Right, um. Dokyun, Mingyu. I met him…um…” Dokyun isn’t stupid. He already knows where Mingyu is from. “On my vacation.”

            Dokyun just smiles politely and nods. Wonwoo is glad to have an employee like Dokyun—probably the nicest, most mellow, most hardworking, and least judgmental employee Wonwoo has ever known. Dokyun is Wonwoo’s right hand man when they’re in the same place, and his most trusted friend. At least, Wonwoo thinks they’re friends. They became close when Wonwoo still worked in Seoul, but then Wonwoo transferred to New York and Dokyun stayed behind. It seems that work likes to pull Wonwoo away from the people he cares about.

            “So what company do you guys run?” Mingyu asks.

            Dokyun opens his mouth to answer, then looks at Wonwoo. “Wait. He doesn’t know yet. Reason?”

            “Judgement,” Wonwoo replies.

            Dokyun nods in understanding. “Definitely.”

            Mingyu nearly curses. “You too? When am I going to get some answers around here?”

            Wonwoo smiles. Dokyun says, “Soon enough I’m sure, since Wonwoo usually never smiles this much.”

            Mingyu looks partially flattered and partially still annoyed. “That’s—yeah but—” He sighs.

            “Now you know how I felt on my first day on the island,” Wonwoo says. Mingyu pouts. Wonwoo looks at Dokyun and says, “They wouldn’t tell me anything. I walked around without even knowing his name until the moment I met him.”

            Dokyun chuckles. “You must have been a wreck.”

            “Yeah. I was. For a while actually.”

            “He’s over it now,” Mingyu says. “So can you give me like a timeline of when you think he’s going to tell me just why it is he’s so rich and what exactly this company even does?”

            “Any news?” Wonwoo asks before Dokyun can even think of answering Mingyu.

            While Mingyu gives wide eyes at Wonwoo, Dokyun shakes his head. “I know I came in here for something but then all this and seeing you for the first time in, what, five or six months at least?” He laughs. “I’m sure it’ll come to me. But the new location is doing really well. I visited myself a couple days ago and all inspections were passed, employees are well educated and everything we ask them to be, with a fifty-fifty Korean and English speaking staff. One of them even speaks Portuguese and the youngest woman speaks French.” He shrugs. “It’s pretty much perfect.”

            Wonwoo is so relieved. So not everything went horribly wrong while he was away. Good—he’d feel so guilty if it had. “Thank you so much. I’m sure you played a big part in keeping things running smoothly.”

            Dokyun shrugs again. “Ah. It’s just work as usual. But, I’ll let you two alone. I know you just arrived today.”

            Wonwoo nods. “We did. Thank you again. And let me know if there’s anything else, okay?”

            “Of course, sir.” Dokyun bows.

            “Good to see you.” Wonwoo bows too. “You should visit more often.”

            Dokyun smiles and also bows to Mingyu, who returns it. “Nice to meet you, Mingyu.”

            “You too,” Mingyu says. “I don’t know what’s going on since no one will tell me but you make it sound really cool.”

            Dokyun smiles. “We like to make it seem that way. Have a good day.” He turns and leaves the office, shutting the door quietly.

            Wonwoo turns to Mingyu. “You’re pouting.”

            Mingyu makes a face. “No I’m not.”

            “Yes you are. You’ll find out eventually, Mingyu.”

            “Do you really think I’ll judge you?”

            Wonwoo sighs. “It’s not you, Mingyu. It’s just anyone. You may have an idea of what it could be but it’s probably wrong. I just want to wait.”

            Mingyu raises an eyebrow. “What could you possibly be ashamed of? Are you running an international escort service?”

            Wonwoo gives a flat face. “Very funny.”

            Mingyu whines. “Just tell me.”

            “Nope.”

            “Hmph.” He crosses his arms and turns around, walking behind Wonwoo’s desk and looking at it. “You’re very neat.”

            “Are you trying to analyze me?”

            Mingyu gives wide eyes. “I’m just looking at your desk!”

            Wonwoo laughs a little. “Okay. Sorry.”

            Mingyu sighs. “What’s this made of?”

            Wonwoo thinks. “Uhh…I don’t know. Wood.”

            Mingyu snorts. “Obviously. It’s probably worth, like, a car or something.”

            Wonwoo frowns. “God, I hope not. We could make a ton of products for that much money.”

            Mingyu glares at him. “Don’t tease if you’re not going to tell me.”

            Wonwoo grins. “Sorry, sorry.”

            Mingyu runs his fingers along the desk, stopping just next to Wonwoo’s chair. Then he freezes and looks up at Wonwoo with shining eyes.

            Wonwoo practically leans back. “What? What is that look?”

            “I’m a little tall but I bet I could fit.”

            Wonwoo realizes what he means. He shakes his head. “Mingyu, really?”

            “Yeah, why not? It’s like a scandalous thing. This is America, right?” He goes to stand in front of Wonwoo, bouncing on his toes. “You should let me. It’ll be fun.”

            Wonwoo bites his lip. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

            “Oh, nobody will come in. It’s an experience.” He grabs Wonwoo’s hands. “Come on.”

            Wonwoo looks at the floor between them. “Mingyu…”

            The brightness leaves Mingyu’s face. “Did I upset you?”

            “No. No, of course not. It’s just…you just got here and we’re just seeing each other again after a long time. I’m not sure if it’s right for now.”

            “But I want to.”

            “Mingyu…”

            “I know that I shouldn’t have sent you away, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo pauses, looking up into his eyes. That’s a sudden and ridiculous thing for Mingyu to say. There was no should or shouldn’t about it. It was Mingyu’s decision, and whatever choice he made was right at the time, no matter how Wonwoo felt about it. Wonwoo shakes his head. “You had every right to—”

            “I was just scared. But I shouldn’t have compared you to him like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. And now, seeing _this_ ,” he waves a hand around at Wonwoo’s office, “I understand just how important your work is to you, even if no one will tell me what it is you actually do.” He smiles a little. “I was wrong, Wonwoo. I’m sorry.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head again. “You weren’t wrong. You did what you felt you should do. I don’t blame you and I don’t forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive. But I am really glad you’re here, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu squeezes Wonwoo’s hands. “Let me make it up to you.”

            Wonwoo bites his lip again, glancing at the door. “Mmm…”

            “Please? I miss hearing the way you sound. I miss the way you breathe.” He leans in and kisses Wonwoo, gentle but firm. He says against Wonwoo’s mouth, “I’ve never tasted you, you know.”

            The kiss and the words send shivers down Wonwoo’s spine. Can he say no? His body doesn’t want him to—he’s getting aroused already. He knows that this is how Mingyu operates, and what he’s used to and what he likes, but it somehow feels _wrong_. Maybe Mingyu knows that. Maybe Mingyu doesn’t care—or maybe it’s the opposite of that. Does Mingyu care so much that he doesn’t want to wait?

            “Please,” Mingyu says. He slides his palms down Wonwoo’s sides to his hips, dipping his fingers into the waistband of his pants. “Let me.”

            Wonwoo closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “Okay. Okay, but…if someone comes in, you—”

            But Mingyu is already pushing him, shoving him down into his chair and crawling underneath the desk. Wonwoo yelps as Mingyu yanks the chair in, hiding and giving himself easy access.

            “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu opens Wonwoo’s belt and pants quickly, pulling everything down to his ankles. Wonwoo stares as Mingyu pushes his thighs apart, settling on his knees.

            “Mingyu.”

            “You’ll have to be quiet now,” Mingyu says, gazing up at him. “Do you think you can handle that?”

            Wonwoo nods quickly.

            Mingyu smirks. “That was a joke. But I will warn you—I’m good at this.”

            Wonwoo pauses and says, “Oh. I—” He gasps as Mingyu leans forward and takes him to the hilt in one go. “ _Mingyu_.”

            Mingyu doesn’t mess around, but he does take his time. He bobs his head at an even pace, taking those extra moments to circle his tongue around the head, dipping the tip of his tongue into the slit, sucking first gently then harder then less again. This specific view Wonwoo has on Mingyu’s pretty cheekbones isn’t one he thought he would ever see, certainly not this soon—he never even really considered it as a possibility. But Jesus is Mingyu beautiful. Wonwoo is about to run his fingers through Mingyu’s hair for the first time in a long time when there’s another knock on the door, forcing him forward onto one elbow and a pen into his hand.

            Of course this is happening. His life is a cliché.

            “Yes?”

            “Wonwoo.” Dokyun pauses, stepping in. He points a finger. “Mingyu?”

            Wonwoo looks up from his “work” and raises his eyebrows, trying not to let his thighs squeeze in as Mingyu drags the tip of his tongue up the underside of his cock. “Oh.” He motions to the bathroom door, thankful that Mingyu closed it earlier. “He’ll be right back.”

            Dokyun nods. “Ah. I remembered what I meant to say earlier. I wanted to let you know that everything’s finally okay with London—from when you were away. There was an issue with tracking one of the air shipments. I know it took us forever and that it, um, interrupted your vacation.”

            Wonwoo curls his hand into a fist on the desk as Mingyu’s teeth ever so lightly graze him. Mingyu’s own little punishment for that day. Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s all right.”

            Dokyun bows a little. “We’re sorry about that. It was strange not having you here. And with Sungjin out and all.”

            Wonwoo does his best to keep a good smile on. “Nope. It’s just fine. Really, Dokyun, you’d—” His breath catches as Mingyu flicks his tongue along the head and then sinks fully back down, flattening his tongue. Wonwoo clears his throat. “You’d be next in line for my job if I ever left. You probably know more about how to run this thing than I do.”

            Dokyun smiles a little. He bows again. “Thank you, sir. That means a lot to hear from you.”

            Wonwoo just nods. “Mhm. Um, would you mind giving me a moment?” He tilts his head toward the bathroom door. “I’m going to check on him.”

            Dokyun blinks. “Oh. Of course.” He bows and shuts the door to the office behind him.

            Wonwoo waits a full five seconds before dropping his pen, leaning back in his seat, and looking down at Mingyu. “This is not okay,” he breathes out.

            Mingyu lifts off Wonwoo’s cock with an obscene noise, wraps his hand around him and continues to stroke him as he gazes up through his lashes. “You don’t like it?”

            Wonwoo holds a white-knuckle grip on the edge of his desk. Not like it? Christ, Mingyu’s mouth is _incredible_. And now, the way his cheeks are flushed and his lips are red and wet with more than one substance and the way Mingyu gazes up at him so innocently… Fuck. Wonwoo is going to come very soon. “Mingyu. Obviously I like it.”

            Mingyu does that wicked smile, and Wonwoo has a brief image of Mingyu floating in crystal clear water, alien blue with LED lights, drops hanging on his cheekbones and his lower lip, waiting between Wonwoo’s knees for Wonwoo to come in with him and push him against the cave wall. How long ago that seemed, and yet how quick and sudden _this_ whole thing seems.

            “I know,” Mingyu says. “I told you I’m good at this.” He twists his hand and draws his thumb down Wonwoo’s length. Wonwoo clenches his eyes shut and makes a sound low in his chest. “Are you close?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo breathes heavily and nods. “Yes. Mingyu…” He’s barely able to open his eyes, but he’s glad he does as Mingyu wraps his lips around him again and takes him in, removing his hand and placing it gently on Wonwoo’s thigh. Wonwoo gasps and finally brings his hands to Mingyu’s hair, not meaning to pull as he does it. Mingyu hums around him and Wonwoo holds back a strangled sound, head falling back onto his chair.

            Mingyu pulls off him again, licks a thick stripe up his cock, then says, “Come for me, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo feels his stomach tighten. He curls forward as Mingyu takes him back in, and he releases, leaning one arm against the desk with his other hand still gripped in Mingyu’s hair, breathing heavily, biting his tongue to keep back noise.

            Mingyu continues his movements through Wonwoo’s orgasm. And yeah, Mingyu is good at this. He doesn’t choke, he doesn’t gag. He swallows everything easily, almost eagerly, sucking Wonwoo dry before flattening his tongue and licking him clean.

            Wonwoo comes down from his high and Mingyu pulls off of him. Wonwoo realizes he’s still holding tight to Mingyu’s hair. He leans back and lets go, giving Mingyu an apologetic look. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He trails off. Mingyu gazes up at him, eyes bright, hair a wreck, white around his lips and about to drip down his chin. Wonwoo trembles in his seat. He pulls up his pants, legs shaking, fingers weak as he zips and buttons them. Mingyu stares up into his eyes as he does it.

            Wonwoo wants to ask what they just did, and what they’re doing. He wants to know where they stand, and how Mingyu _really_ feels after sending Wonwoo away like he did—if what he said before was the full truth, or if Mingyu is still worried about being with Wonwoo like this. He wants to know how this is going to play out over Mingyu’s time here, and how it will affect their…relationship. But, just like he doesn’t have any idea, he doesn’t think Mingyu knows either.

            So he fumbles his belt closed and says, “Mingyu…”

            As Wonwoo watches, Mingyu’s tongue slips out and swipes the drop away from his lip, and he swallows the last of it. Mingyu says, “You do taste good. I knew you would.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head in disbelief. “Jesus.”

            Mingyu smiles again, and it’s way too innocent after what he just did. “I’m glad you liked it. Can I kiss you now or is that not okay?”

            In response, because he knows he’d trip over his words if he tried to talk, Wonwoo just rolls his chair back. Mingyu smiles bigger and comes out from under the desk. Wonwoo stands with Mingyu, taking him by the face and pulling him into a deep kiss. He tastes a little of himself on Mingyu’s tongue and it isn’t exactly what Mingyu said, but he doesn’t really care. He runs his fingers through Mingyu’s hair gently to smooth it down and kisses him too deeply, for too long, because it’s _been_ too long. Three weeks without Mingyu and Wonwoo hadn’t known what to do with his life. Part of what had become him on that island was missing for that time. But why Mingyu decided to come here at all, Wonwoo still doesn’t really know. Wonwoo means it when he says that Mingyu had every right to send him away. Mingyu might be young at heart and too sweet for his own good and a little immature, but he still makes his own decisions. Wonwoo just doesn’t know why he made this one after what Wonwoo did. But he’s endlessly happy that Mingyu did.

            He pulls just barely away and says, “I missed you so much.”

            Mingyu puts his forehead against Wonwoo’s. “I missed you too, Wonwoo. I’m sorry for what I did.”

            Wonwoo just shakes his head and kisses him again. “Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. _I’m_ sorry.”

            Mingyu gently holds Wonwoo’s wrists by his face, as if keeping Wonwoo’s touch from leaving his cheeks. “I don’t know why I sent you. You said we were supposed to feel for each other and learn about each other, and I do like you and I want to learn more about you and I was stupid to push you away—”

            “Mingyu, you weren’t.”

            “I should have let you stay so we could be together. And be closer.”

            “Mingyu…”

            Mingyu wraps his arms around Wonwoo and leans into him, pressing his body close while they stand there kissing in the middle of Wonwoo’s office.

            The door opens one more time. Dokyun widens his eyes and steps backwards. “Oh, god. I am so sorry.”

            Wonwoo startles and jumps back. Mingyu just smiles at him before turning around and smiling at Dokyun. “It’s all right,” he says.

            Wonwoo swallows and nods. “Sorry. No, it’s—it’s fine. Is there, um—something else?”

            Dokyun is blushing madly. He matches Wonwoo. “I should have knocked.” He bows quickly. “Um…there was something. Um…”

            Wonwoo feels so embarrassed. His top and favorite employee just caught him making out with his partner who he met on his “vacation.” This all must seem really strange to Na Dokyun. Wonwoo would slap himself if he wouldn’t look even more stupid.

            “You were mentioning London?” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo’s heart skips a beat as he thinks, _You weren’t here to hear that, Mingyu, remember?_

            But apparently the embarrassment covers it because Dokyun only looks back up. “Right! Yes. London is back on track. Like I said, apologies. I came back to mention that Bangkok is looking to open a new location, so we’ll have to go through that approval process, if you decide you want to do that. I have to say that their prospects look good, though. It’s really starting to boom there. Also, have you ever thought about building in Los Angeles? It’s the this place of the west coast, right? And since we’re really starting to expand in America. I’m sure you’ve talked about it with the other partners.”

            It takes a moment for the gears to properly turn in Wonwoo’s head, shifting over to his work for a second instead of Mingyu. He feels like it’s actually taken three weeks for that to happen. “Uh—yes. To Bangkok, yes. Eric showed me some of their stats with the first location last week and I think it’s a great idea. And Los Angeles…no, actually, I hadn’t thought much about it. But demographically speaking—”

            “It’s young over there,” Dokyun says. “Plus, California is the Asian hub of the U.S.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Exactly.” He finds the pen he was pretending to use earlier and writes it down on a notepad. “You’re definitely smarter than me, Dokyun. Thank you.”

            Dokyun gives a subdued proud smile. “Of course not. Thank you, sir.”

            There’s a pause as he finishes writing, and Wonwoo can imagine Mingyu pouting even more behind him that he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He clicks the pen closed and says, “Great. Is there anything else?”

            Dokyun shakes his head. “No, that’s all. I didn’t even expect you in today, so.”

            “I was a day early. And I didn’t expect to see you in New York at all.”

            Dokyun laughs. “Right. Of course not. I do like it here though.” He looks around at the office and out the landscape windows. “Something about this city.”

            Wonwoo nods. He has no idea what that something is. He could leave New York forever and be just as well. Sometimes he wishes he never transferred in the first place, and then he might not have ended up as lonely as he was. Not that it matters now. But anyway, if Dokyun likes it, good for him. “Sure. Thank you again, Dokyun. Are you leaving soon?”

            “Heading back tomorrow, actually,” Dokyun says. He frowns a little.

            “Understood,” Wonwoo says. “But please, if you ever have a reason to come back.”

            Dokyun nods. “I will, sir.”

            Wonwoo smiles.

            They bow to each other, and then Dokyun and Mingyu bow as well, saying it was nice to meet each other. Dokyun gives a final smile and leaves the office.

            Mingyu looks over at Wonwoo and says, “He’s so cool.”

            Wonwoo laughs a little. “Yeah, he is. God, am I embarrassed.”

            Mingyu shrugs, putting his arms around Wonwoo’s neck again. “Ah, but you’re sexy when you talk about business.”

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow, resting his hands on Mingyu’s hips. “You think so?”

            Mingyu lowers his voice. “Mhm. Very.” He kisses Wonwoo again, biting his lip gently. “So what’s getting approved in Thailand?”

            “Mmm…we’re probably going to build another—” He stops. He leans back and gives Mingyu a straight face. “Ahh. You…”

            Mingyu stomps his foot. “Wonwoo! You have to tell me some day.”

            Wonwoo tisks and pulls away from him, getting his jacket from the chair back. “That was a close one. I actually thought you were serious when you said I was sexy.”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes. “Ugh. I was serious, Wonwoo. I just want you to tell me what you _do._ ”

            Wonwoo kisses him on the cheek as he walks by, holding the door and motioning him through. “We’ve seen enough of my office for today. Like you said—some day.”

            Mingyu squints his eyes at him. “I could look you up, you know.”

            Wonwoo smiles. “But that would ruin all the fun, wouldn’t it?” He motions through the door again.

            Mingyu whines and walks through, not looking at Wonwoo.

            Wonwoo smiles after him, then glances back at his desk, out the window at the city skyline. He closes the door behind him.

 

…

 

“Oh my god. This place is huge!”

            Wonwoo pulls in his suitcase behind him and closes the door as Mingyu stands in the middle of the room, spinning around to look at his apartment. They cabbed here from his office building since they had bags with them, and Mingyu pouted for the whole eight minutes until Wonwoo told him that they could order whatever Mingyu wanted for dinner and have it brought to the apartment for them. The idea of food seemed to perk Mingyu up right away.

            Wonwoo frowns, but smiles. “Yeah…when they told me eleven-hundred square feet I didn’t really realize how much that was.”

            Mingyu awes at the space. “And a penthouse, too. Wow. It’s so…”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “What?”

            “Empty.”

            Wonwoo nods slowly, looking at his sparse, sharply angled apartment. “Yeah. I know.”

            Mingyu turns to him. “Do you get lonely?”

            “I did,” Wonwoo says. “But I don’t have to worry about that right now.”

            Mingyu blushes. “Oh yeah.”

            Wonwoo taps his fingers on his suitcase handle. Now that Mingyu is actually in his apartment, he doesn’t know what to do. “Um…the food should be here in less than ten minutes.”

            Mingyu nods. “Okay. Show me around?”

            Wonwoo smiles. “Right. Well, this is the living room. Or space. It’s kind of open floor, right?” He walks over to Mingyu, who gets his own bag and follows him.

            “I like it,” Mingyu says. “It’s free feeling.”

            Wonwoo is glad at least the apartment makes Mingyu feel sort of comfortable. “That’s good. There’s the kitchen,” he says, pointing past a granite countertop. “Dining area is that table. There’s only the one hallway, this way.” He leads Mingyu through it. “Not really a hallway, more of a divider. Down there is the laundry and a powder room. And this is my—this is the bedroom.” He corrects himself as he turns to face the doorway. Is it their bedroom now? He’ll make sure he asks Mingyu how he feels about that and what he wants to do to be comfortable.

            “Wow,” Mingyu says, and pulls his suitcase in. “The floors are so shiny. You have a walk in!” He runs over and flicks the light on. “So much space. So many suits. You really are a businessman. How often do you shine your shoes?” He looks over his shoulder, grinning.

            Wonwoo blinks. “Uh—I don’t know.” Mingyu seems so excited. To Wonwoo, this is just his apartment, same as always. He figures it is quite different from the house on the island. He’s thankful that the excitement isn’t anxiety instead. “I usually take them somewhere… Um, I’ll make space for your things right away, okay?”

            Mingyu waves a hand, walking away from the closet. “Whenever. Look at this _bathroom_. It’s the same color as in the house! The grey tiles. And—oh my god. You have one of those cool showers. No door—it’s like a cubicle. Your style.” He giggles from in the bathroom. Wonwoo shakes his head at him fondly, then hears Mingyu pause. Then, “Jesus, Wonwoo, how much stuff do you have?”

            Apparently Mingyu finally looked at the sink counter. “Oh. A lot?” He turns his suitcase on its side to unpack later.

            Mingyu pokes his head out and squints at him. “Makes sense that you’re this handsome then. Did you bring all this to the island?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “Wouldn’t fit.”

            He says it as a joke, but Mingyu looks all over his face again, then shrugs it off, seeming to forget about it. “Cool.” He turns the light off and comes back out. “This bed is even bigger than the ones in the house. I never thought I’d see a bed this big.”

            Wonwoo shrugs. “Came with the apartment.”

            Mingyu laughs softly. “Of course. I think this place fits you, too. Simple and sharp and dark. It’s very pretty and very sad. It looks like it’s never been lived in. Like the bed’s never even been used.”

            Wonwoo blushes. He knows what Mingyu means—it’s boring and it’s not very homey. He knew that already, but he doesn’t know how to change it. “Well…I keep things clean and…”

            Mingyu smiles at him. He says quietly, “It’s okay, Wonwoo. We’ll fix it.”

            The apartment? Or the bed? Or is Wonwoo jumping to conclusions again. He has to remember—seeing how things go, as they go. He nods. “Okay.”

            Mingyu smiles sweetly at him. And then the doorbell rings and he lights up immediately. “I’ll get it. Food!”

            Wonwoo watches him run out and hears him greet the delivery guy in mushy English. He shakes his head again and puts his suitcase on the bed, then hoists Mingyu’s up. His may have been heavier, but Mingyu’s isn’t as light as he thought. How much is in here? Or really, how many days worth is in here?

            He tells himself to stop. He shouldn’t be trying to figure this out like it’s some puzzle. He needs to just follow Mingyu’s lead. This is about Mingyu, and them, not him.

            He goes out to set up the dinner table with Mingyu.

 

“Weird huh?” Mingyu says, smiling at Wonwoo from across the table. “This is just like your first night on the island. My first night in New York.”

            Wonwoo remembers it. What a mess he had been that day—clueless and literally stumbling and asking too many questions and nervous about…Mingyu. He’s not nervous about being around Mingyu anymore. He’s just nervous about making this right. One thing he knows for certain is that something very good came out of that first awkward night there. He nods, laughing at himself. “Yes. Only a lot better.”

            Mingyu waves his fork. “Ah. You were cute. It was a good first impression.”

            Wonwoo lifts an incredulous eyebrow. “Really? Wow. I thought it was awful. Me, anyway.”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “What did you think of me?”

            Wonwoo hardly needs to think about it he remembers it so well. He still thinks all the same things now, anyway. He smiles gently. “Well…I thought that you were sweet, and funny, and you said what you wanted to say—which ended up changing when you got nervous, which is cute.” Mingyu blushes. “And I thought you were absolutely gorgeous. I wondered what exactly I had done to get someone who looked like you.”

            Mingyu looks off anywhere but Wonwoo’s eyes, grinning, pink-cheeked. “Wonwoo…”

            “Really,” Wonwoo says. “You’re probably the most handsome person I’ve ever met, and certainly had the pleasure to be with.”

            Mingyu meets his eyes with a shining gaze. “The pleasure.”

            Wonwoo raises his eyebrows again. “Uh huh. A lot of it.”

            Mingyu giggles. “That’s good. Me too. You may or may not want to hear this but you don’t compare to the other people that visited as guests.”

            Wonwoo looks confused. “In the way I look?”

            Mingyu nods. “Yes. That and…” He pushes his fork through his food.

            Wonwoo tilts his head. Honestly, the fact of Mingyu’s sexual history because of his job doesn’t really bother him anymore, he realizes now. After all, Mingyu is here with him, isn’t he? But he does ask, “Compare in a good way or a bad way?”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes. “A good way, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo smiles and takes a bite. “That’s interesting. I’m not exactly very…um…I’m not—like you.” He swallows and says, “I’m just kind of…regular. If you know what I’m saying.”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. You don’t need to be to make me feel good. Being with you that way is just different. From the first time it was different. Maybe it’s because…you actually care about me.” He sticks a bite in his mouth so he doesn’t say more.

            Wonwoo’s chest feels fuzzy and warm—a far cry from the nerves he used to get at words like that. Things have changed for him. For them. “I do care about you, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu smiles shyly and puts his fork down, playing with his fingers. “Um, Wonwoo… _am_ I your boyfriend?”

            So here’s the question after what Mingyu said earlier today. If it’s a matter of what Wonwoo feels and wants—which is what it seems like with the way Mingyu is asking him so nervously and looking at him like he wants to know what Wonwoo thinks of it—then Wonwoo knows the answer already. He gently places his fork down, too, and says, “I guess that depends.”

            Mingyu bites his lip, giving him a worried look and nodding like he’ll do anything. “Yeah?”

            “Do you want to be?”

            Mingyu frowns and his shoulders go down. “Ah, Wonwoo. Don’t scare me.” He sighs and smiles, looking down at his hands. “Obviously I do.”

            Wonwoo smiles back. “Me too.”

            So…they’re officially together now, right? Does that mean anything, giving it that label? Wonwoo thinks that Mingyu could very easily forget it or throw it away in an instant if Wonwoo does something that makes him uncomfortable. Mingyu might decide he wants to leave tomorrow, and Wonwoo supposes that a “breakup” wouldn’t even be a thought—it would just happen. And Wonwoo couldn’t even blame anyone but himself.

            But maybe he’s underestimating Mingyu. Maybe Mingyu is willing—is _trying_ to work just as hard at this as Wonwoo is. Wonwoo feels both proud of him and very thankful.

            Mingyu’s eyes flick up to his, shining, and then go back to his plate as they both continue with their food.

 

How interesting it is, Wonwoo thinks as he sits on the edge of the bed, that Mingyu is in his bathroom, just brushing his teeth. It’s normal and domestic. Wonwoo feels like it should feel out of the ordinary, but for some reason it doesn’t. Surprising, yes. Strange…not really.

            He waits a while longer, making a point not to stare at Mingyu in his night clothes that are loose but somehow still hug him in certain places that Wonwoo has to forcefully pull his gaze away from. Eventually Mingyu comes out, turning the light off.

            Wonwoo stands. “Did you have everything you needed?”

            Mingyu smiles. “Mhm. Just like normal.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Good. Um…” He watches Mingyu start to go around to the other side of the bed. “Do you want to sleep here tonight? I mean—I’m happy to go sleep on the couch if—”

            “Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous,” Mingyu says, laughing and climbing into the bed on the left side because he remembers that Wonwoo likes the right, laying sideways and patting the space next to him. “Don’t leave me alone in this huge bed.”

            Wonwoo smiles and climbs in with him, propping up to face him. “I’m glad you’re here, Mingyu. I’m happy that you trust me enough to spend some time with me away from the island.”

            Mingyu nods, his eyes big. “I do like you a lot and…when you left—when I _sent_ you like an idiot—” He waves his hand at Wonwoo to keep him from saying something. Wonwoo closes his mouth. “I felt more lonely than I have in a long time,” Mingyu says. “Everyone was there with me and they care about me so much and I love them and really appreciate everything we get to do together, but…it’s different, you know? Romantic stuff is different and…I realized that with what I’d done I could never be with you like this again. At least that’s what I thought. I thought I’d ruined everything.”

            Wonwoo reaches out and brushes Mingyu’s hair back from his eyes. “Of course not, Mingyu. Time with you has become my favorite time. And I’ll do whatever you need or want in order for you to feel comfortable here. I know this is a strange place for you.”

            Mingyu nods, lashes fluttering at Wonwoo’s gentle touch. “It is. But I like it. It’s cool. Like you.” He smiles cutely.

            Wonwoo laughs softly. “You’re pretty cool, too. And just pretty.”

            Mingyu grins and flops onto his back. “What are we gonna do tomorrow? It’s the weekend.”

            Wonwoo nods. Right. No work. “Well…what do you want to do?”

            Mingyu giggles, looking over at him. “I don’t know. I don’t know about New York. What do you do here?”

            Wonwoo knows a proud New Yorker would say something like _You can do_ anything _in this city_. But usually he just kind of does more work at home. But he knows that even though Mingyu would probably say that’s fine, it’s the last thing he actually wants to do. Wonwoo tries to think of something fun he’s done here. “Mmm…well, once in a while I go ice skating.”

            Mingyu raises his eyebrows in surprise and gets back up on his elbow. “ _You?_ Ice skating?”

            Wonwoo smiles. “Is that so weird?”

            “Yes.”

            He laughs. “Well it’s true. It’s a little early in the year. I know Madison Square isn’t ready but I’m sure there’s an indoor place we can go. If you want.”

            Mingyu nods fast. “Yes. I want to do that.”

            Wonwoo smiles and nods. “Okay. We will. After we make breakfast together since we’re at an unfortunate lack of personal chefs.”

            Mingyu sighs and puts his cheek in his palm. “Ah. I miss them.”

            Oh…already? How much does he miss their friends from the island? Enough to leave soon? Will this get worse as time goes by? Wonwoo doesn’t want Mingyu to feel alienated from his friends here. Lonely is not one of his goals for Mingyu in this. He says carefully, “I miss them too.”

            Mingyu smiles at him. It makes Wonwoo feel a little better. Maybe Mingyu doesn’t feel _bad_ , just a little homesick on his first night. Anyone would be. “Even Jun?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo laughs. “Even Jun. And especially Jun’s cooking.”

            “I agree.” He hums and then all at once pushes up, straddling Wonwoo and settling on top of his thighs. Wonwoo gazes up at him as Mingyu plays with the neck of his shirt. “Remember when I said we’ll fix this bed?” Mingyu says, tilting his head.

            Wonwoo can only nod.

            “Do you want to?”

            Wonwoo’s first thought is that it’s early. Mingyu has only been here with him for less than half a day. But they did do that in his office earlier… And he knows that this is something that Mingyu does naturally and is a big part of his life. Maybe for Mingyu it’s important. And really, can Wonwoo say no to Mingyu for anything?

            He wants to ask Mingyu why he’s asking to do this. Will that sound mean? Or like he doesn’t want to? He’s really just curious, and he wants to make sure Mingyu isn’t doing this because he thinks he has to for Wonwoo’s sake. Wonwoo wants to know as much about what goes on inside Mingyu’s head as he can. That will make things easier for the both of them.

            He’s not sure how to ask properly. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Mingyu’s feelings. He doesn’t know if it’s good enough, but he chooses, “Again?”

            Mingyu’s brows go down just the slightest, and his fingers still at Wonwoo’s collar. “Yeah. Is that bad?”

            Maybe he asked wrong. “Will you tell me why?”

            “What do you mean?”

            Wonwoo sighs. He’ll have to just say it. “Why do you want to, Mingyu?”

            Mingyu blinks, then starts to get off of him. “If you’re not interested—”

            Wonwoo holds Mingyu’s hips, keeping him in place. He gives Mingyu a reassuring smile. “Mingyu, I am. Of course I am if it’s you. I’m just curious.”

            Mingyu chews his lip and shrugs. “I don’t know. I like it? It makes me feel good.”

            In what way, Wonwoo wonders. Physically, sure, but probably mentally and emotionally, too. Wonwoo thinks that sex makes Mingyu feel wanted and appreciated. Wonwoo wants to show Mingyu that he wants and appreciates him even when they’re not having sex. But he also thinks that now might not be a good time to reject Mingyu’s offer. Not on their first day.

            Interesting how things have turned completely around—how first he was cautious of being intimate on their first day, and now he’s cautious not to do so.

            Wonwoo nods. “Okay. That’s a good answer. Me too.”

            Mingyu smiles a little. “And I like you. And…being with you. So.” He shrugs again, looking down shyly.

            Wonwoo smiles and squeezes his hips gently. He knows they have a lot more to talk about, but maybe tonight they can just forget it for a while. He knows Mingyu wants to. “All right.”

            Mingyu gazes into his eyes. “You want to?”

            “Only if you do.”

            Mingyu pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it away, leans down, and traps Wonwoo in a kiss.


	4. August 29; Take My Hand

Wonwoo figures he should probably stop staring at Mingyu by now. He doesn’t know what he expected when he woke up—and isn’t sure why he didn’t just expect Mingyu to be there—but for some reason opening his eyes to see Mingyu tucked up under the covers right next to him, hardly even using all the space on the other side of the bed, surprised Wonwoo a little bit. Relieved him, definitely. If Mingyu hadn’t been there, he doesn’t know what he would have done. He’d probably have some idiotic idea that Mingyu had somehow called Hansol and Jihoon in the middle of the night to come get him, which is really ridiculous, especially if they’re still in Seoul. But Wonwoo’s mind tends to give him ridiculous ideas when it comes to things like this. He thinks Mingyu is making him better, though.

            And then Wonwoo realizes that he has no reason to be thinking about all the bad things that could have happened because they _didn’t_ and Mingyu is right here, sleeping soundly with his cheek squished against the pillow and his hair sticking up around his head.

            Wonwoo didn’t check the time when he woke up, but he figures it’s been at least fifteen minutes now of watching Mingyu sleep. He really is creepy, isn’t he? But he actually should check the time because he just remembered that they’re supposed to be going ice skating today and the one he’s thinking of opens just before ten and he doesn’t want it to be too crowded when they get there.

            He rolls over and looks at his clock—just after eight. Plenty of time for breakfast and getting ready and getting there.

            He rolls back over and looks at Mingyu’s cute face again, finding it hard to believe that he’s actually the person that gets to wake Mingyu up this morning, and hopefully more mornings after this. Disbelieving of the fact that it’s even _him_ here in his bed, staying with Wonwoo by his own choice. Kim Mingyu.

            “Mingyu,” Wonwoo whispers. Mingyu doesn’t move. Wonwoo smiles and says almost in a regular voice, “Mingyu.”

            “Are you surprised at how long I can keep still?” Mingyu whispers back. He opens his eyes and grins at Wonwoo’s certainly surprised face. “Guess who woke up first.”

            Wonwoo blinks. “Well I thought I did.”

            Mingyu draws in a deep breath and stretches his arms above the covers, then lets them flop to his sides. “Me. I don’t think I stared at you as long as you stared at me though.”

            Wonwoo blushes a little. “Sorry.”

            Mingyu smiles sweetly. Wonwoo can see in his bright eyes that he really is fully awake. “It’s okay. I was waiting to see how long you would. Good morning. Your bed is very comfortable. Especially after we fixed it. Broke it in, maybe?” He laughs.

            Wonwoo thinks about last night, asking Mingyu why he wanted that and succumbing to him anyway, gazing up at Mingyu on top of him in the dark, holding his hips and feeling they way he moved them up and down and _still_ having that electric moment with Mingyu, even after their time apart from each other. Wonwoo knows he’ll overthink that if he lets himself, so he tries to just nod it away. “Yes. Um, thank you.”

            Mingyu clicks his tongue. “We aren’t supposed to thank each other.”

            Wonwoo laughs. “I meant for saying my bed is comfortable.”

            Now Mingyu blushes, just barely. “Ah…well it is. Um, I remember what you said about good night kisses… Do you think you could give me good morning kisses too?”

            Of course he can. He was hoping Mingyu would be comfortable with that. The fact that Mingyu asks for something like a simple kiss so innocently and shyly when before he would ask for something like sex with complete unabashed confidence totally intrigues Wonwoo. A lot of things about Mingyu intrigue Wonwoo, which is why he’s so happy Mingyu decided to come here to stay with him.

            Wonwoo hums like he’s not sure about the answer to Mingyu’s question. He brings his hand up and breathes into his palm, then nods. “Yeah. I think I won’t kill you.”

            Mingyu scrunches his face up. “Gross.” He brings his hand up and does the same, then giggles. “Should be fine.”

            Wonwoo leans over and kisses him lightly on the corner of his mouth, then right on his lips. He barely pulls away, hovers there for a moment, then kisses him one more time before leaning back.

            Mingyu’s eyes are closed, and then he frowns and sighs and sits up in the bed, throwing the covers back. “How.”

            Wonwoo looks worriedly up at him. Was that not what Mingyu wanted? Was it too much? Did he mess up _again_? “How what, Mingyu?”

            Mingyu shakes his head and gets up in just his underwear. As he goes to the bathroom he says, “How can you barely say anything and not even touch me and then hardly kiss me at all and still send shivers down my spine and make my heart flutter?” He motions with his hands like he really has no idea, then flicks on the bathroom light and goes to the mirror, shoving his fingers in his hair.

            Wonwoo stares after him. He makes Mingyu feel that way? He thought it was just the other way around. There’s apparently still so much he has to learn. “Mingyu.”

            “Don’t change it tomorrow morning, okay? Kiss me just like that.”

            Tomorrow morning. Wonwoo can’t answer. He nods, even though Mingyu isn’t looking at him.

            Mingyu huffs at himself in the mirror, dropping his hands from his hair. He turns to Wonwoo, smiles, and says, “Come help me with this. You always look perfect and it’s not cooperating.”

            Mingyu’s smile helps bring Wonwoo out of his daze. He gets up from the bed and heads for the bathroom. “My secret for good hair is a really hot shower.”

            “Is it?” Mingyu says as Wonwoo closes the door behind him.

 

“Sorry it’s not much,” Wonwoo says, bringing their breakfast plates to the table. “I forgot I haven’t lived here in three weeks. Or…four. Should we go grocery shopping later?” He sets the plates down and sits with Mingyu.

            “It’s okay. I liked watching you cook. And sure. Food,” Mingyu says, picking up his chopsticks.

            Wonwoo chuckles at him. “It’s a good thing I know at least one way to make you happy.”

            Mingyu smiles. “You make me happy in lots of ways.” He takes a big bite like always. “And thank you,” he says, then adds, “boyfriend.” He tucks his shoulders up and looks down at the table.

            Right. They did make it sort of official, didn’t they. Mingyu is his boyfriend. He guesses he forgot with all the other stuff his mind was on yesterday, from landing in the plane to going to his office and all the way until he threw the tissues away and rolled over to sleep facing Mingyu while quiet finally fell over their bedroom. Yes, Mingyu is his boyfriend, but he supposes he still just thinks of him as Mingyu. Not in a bad way by any means—no matter what title he has, Wonwoo will still like Mingyu just as much and no differently than before. But he can’t say he doesn’t think it’s cute that Mingyu giggles at it like a grade schooler.

            All he can think to do is smile at Mingyu.

            A few minutes later after most of his breakfast is already he gone he says, “Oh,” and smacks a hand to his forehead. He gets up from the table while Mingyu watches him. “Coffee?” he calls over his shoulder.

            “That’s okay,” Mingyu answers. “I only have it sometimes. And I put too much sugar anyway.”

            “Jisoo made me an amazing latte sort of thing one morning,” Wonwoo says from the kitchen. “That had to have so much sugar and cream.”

            “Oh my god,” Mingyu says. “His are my favorite. The layered thing?”

            “Just the one,” Wonwoo says, coming back to the table with a mug. “I’ve gotten lazy enough that I drink it black usually, so that was sort of a treat for me. By the way, I don’t mean to devastate you but I don’t have the ingredients for your special martini in my apartment.”

            Mingyu squints at him. “Special martini. Don’t make fun of me.”

            “I’m not, I’m not,” Wonwoo says, smiling and taking a sip of his coffee.

            Mingyu sighs. “That’s okay. It’s not the only drink I like.”

            “Actually, I don’t have any alcohol,” Wonwoo says, making an apologetic face.

            Mingyu’s mouth opens in surprise. “None at all?” Wonwoo shakes his head. “Yeesh. When you say occasionally you really mean it.”

            “Rarely,” Wonwoo says. “And yeah.” He shrugs.

            Mingyu shrugs back and takes a bite, saying nonchalantly, “Well then that just means you’ll have to buy me drinks every time we go out and you can stick to your no sugar no cream no fun coffee.”

            Wonwoo laughs. “Sounds like a deal. A good one, since I pretty much survive on coffee.”

            Mingyu nods. “Makes sense. Coffee and no food. That’s why you’re so skinny.”

            Wonwoo lifts a finger to say that he knows he should eat more often but he obviously eats sometimes since he just finished a whole breakfast, but then he lowers his hand and forgets it, asking instead, “Do you think I’m too skinny?”

            Mingyu stops eating, puts down his chopsticks, and looks Wonwoo up and down. Wonwoo has the sudden urge to cover himself as Mingyu scrutinizes his body with his eyes.

            Mingyu tilts his head. “You’re very thin. But obviously I really like your body. You shoulders. And your waistline.” He makes a weird noise and smiles and rolls his eyes back. “God. And your hips are…” He waves a hand like he can’t even find the words. “And your face. Your sexy eyes and your pretty lips and your adorable and enviable nose and your incredible jawline.” Wonwoo blushes. “You have perfect teeth, you have healthy thick hair which you already know I like between my fingers, you have perfect hands. Your back feels amazing under _my_ hands when I hug you and hold you and _especially_ when you’re fucking me.” Wonwoo blushes even harder. “And you may think you’re—what did you say,” he makes air quotes, “ _regular_. But believe me that’s not what I’m thinking when you’re inside me.” He puts on a serious face. “I mean, Christ, Wonwoo, you even taste good. I wasn’t just saying that for effect, I really meant it. Take it from someone who…well, never mind that. There’s just not much I can say that I don’t like about your body. You’re kind of perfect.”

            Wonwoo just sits there for a moment, staring at Mingyu’s thinking face. Was all of that true? This whole time Wonwoo was here thinking Mingyu is the god and he’s the little human in comparison. He didn’t know Mingyu liked the way he looked that much…

            He remembers first being back on the island, wondering constantly if the things Mingyu said to him were true or if he said them as part of a script for the job. He felt that he believed Mingyu by the end of their week together, but now he really does believe it, even if for him it’s sort of unbelievable that someone as beautiful as Mingyu would think those things about him.

            “Mingyu…I don’t know what to say.”

            Mingyu just smiles. “Say what parts you like about me.”

            Wonwoo bites his lip. “Oh. I’m—I’m not good with words, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu laughs softly. “It doesn’t have to be long. Twenty words. Go.”

            Wonwoo thinks, but it’s not like he really has to. There isn’t one part of Mingyu’s body Wonwoo thinks is short of perfect. Maybe he should just say that. “Um…you know the parts of you my hands have touched?”

            Mingyu nods, looking up and thinking back. “Mhm. So like, all of me?”

            Wonwoo nods. “That’s what I like. What I think is perfect.”

            Mingyu’s mouth opens a little. He blinks, and he gets up from the table and goes to Wonwoo’s side, pulling Wonwoo’s chair back with him in it.

            Wonwoo looks back at him. “What are you—”

            Wonwoo is cut off when Mingyu straddles his lap and wraps his arms around his neck, kissing him. Wonwoo hums and kisses back, putting his hands gently on Mingyu’s perfect waist. “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu leans back and smiles at him. “That was so nice. I could cry, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo squeezes his waist. “It’s only the truth.”

            Mingyu grins and kisses him again a few times. “And exactly twenty words. Well, unless you don’t count ‘um.’ Then nineteen. But I count it because um is pretty important to you. Also oh. And right. Your three go-to words.” He laughs quietly.

            Wonwoo only smiles up at him. “Oh. Um…right.”

            Mingyu giggles and hugs Wonwoo, hunching and resting his head on Wonwoo’s shoulder. “Ah. You’re funny too.”

            Wonwoo snorts. “Yeah, I’m sure my quick wit is a real turn on.”

            “What wit?”

            Wonwoo tisks and tickles Mingyu’s sides.

            Mingyu yelps and jerks on Wonwoo’s thighs, almost falling backwards. “Yah!”

            Wonwoo laughs and shakes his head. “I’m going to have to get used to you disrespecting me, aren’t I.”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes. “I dropped honorifics a long time ago, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo grins. “Yeah, I know.” He kisses Mingyu quickly, then pats his thighs. “Okay. Ice skating opens pretty soon. Should we go?”

            Mingyu wiggles on Wonwoo’s lap, scooting up his thighs closer to him. “I don’t know. Should we?” He starts kissing along Wonwoo’s jaw.

            Wonwoo smiles and pats his back. “Yes we should.”

            Mingyu leans back and looks at him, gaping. “Did you just reject me?”

            Did he? It appears so. And luckily it appears that Mingyu is only sort of offended—if he was truly hurt by this, Wonwoo would be all to familiar with the look on his face. But it’s not like that. And besides, maybe Wonwoo “rejecting” the offer fits right now. Maybe it’s time for Mingyu to start learning that Wonwoo cares about him and will treat him just the same no matter what they’re doing or not doing.

            Right now, Mingyu just looks like he’s about to pout again if he doesn’t get his way. Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow. “I’ve said no before.”

            “But I’m asking!”

            Wonwoo pretends to think. “Mmm…no.”

            Mingyu scoffs. “Fine. I don’t want to anyway.”

            Wonwoo recalls his second or third day on the island being like this. Not the pouting thing, but the fact that it’s suddenly so much more comfortable than it was before. Yesterday was pretty nerve-wracking, but now things seem normal again. Back to where they were before, if that’s even a thing. Maybe this is a totally new kind of comfort.

            He smiles and says, “Good.”

            Mingyu gets off Wonwoo’s lap and distances himself, crossing his arms. “Wow.”

            Wonwoo stands and gets their dishes, taking them to the sink. “Grab a coat just in case. I know it’s still hot but it tends to get cold in the rinks. Of course.”

            Mingyu doesn’t budge.

            Wonwoo gives him a look. He drops the dishes in the sink and turns to Mingyu, crossing his arms in imitation. “Traffic is bad now and also always and I want to get there when it opens so we can have the rink to ourselves for a few minutes.” He claps. “Hurry up.”

            Mingyu whines and stalks off into the bedroom, coming back with a long tan coat slung over his arm. He frowns at Wonwoo, sticking out his arm to display his choice for Wonwoo’s approval. “Good enough?”

            Wonwoo gives him a gentle smile. “Mhm.” He puts his hand out. “Come on.”

            Mingyu comes over to him, pausing just to be stubborn before taking Wonwoo’s hand. Wonwoo squeezes and sings in English, “ _Take my whole life too_.”

            Mingyu tries not to, but he melts into a smile. “Ah…don’t be sappy.”

            “We’re about to go ice skating. It’s a sappy sort of day. Let’s go.”

 

…

 

“Careful now.”

            Mingyu holds tight to Wonwoo’s hands, standing at the edge of the floor before the ice rink. He shakes his head fast. “I don’t think I’ll be good at this.”

            Wonwoo smiles. “You’ve lived on a tropical island for a long time, Mingyu. It’s understandable. I wasn’t good my first time either.” He squeezes Mingyu’s hands reassuringly. “I’ve got you.” Mingyu sighs heavily. He puts on a determined face and steps gingerly onto the ice, making a high-pitched noise when he slides forward with momentum. Wonwoo holds his hands and turns him a little. “There. See? Not bad, right?”

            “You’ll laugh when I fall.”

            “You’re not going to fall so I’m not going to laugh. You know that you move your feet in a V shape, right? Have you ever roller bladed?”

            Mingyu nods. “No. But I’ve seen people do it.”

            Wonwoo smiles again. “Well, hopefully that’s good enough. Can I let go?”

            Mingyu hums, looking down at his feet. “Yes.” Wonwoo slowly releases Mingyu’s hands, and Mingyu stands on his own, balancing his hands out by his sides. “Oh. Okay. I’m okay.”

            “Exactly. Now, we’re going to go counterclockwise so start going that way.” He points behind Mingyu.

            Worry mixed with further determination crosses Mingyu’s features. “Okay.” He heaves a sigh. “Okay. Got it. You want me to turn around?”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “Yes. Then you would be facing the right way.”

            Mingyu frowns. “Don’t be smart.” He glances over his shoulder. “Okay. So I just—”

            He takes a step to turn his right foot around and shifts his weight unevenly. His left skate betrays him and slides out from underneath his body. He squeaks, and he falls right onto his butt.

            Wonwoo works very hard not to laugh. He honestly didn’t think Mingyu would fall, but there he is, sitting on the ice with his eyes wide. Wonwoo takes a second to compose himself. “M-Mingyu, are you—”

            “You’re laughing!” Mingyu stares up at him, eyes bright and big and a little angry.

            Wonwoo makes a sudden giggle and covers his mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m—I really didn’t think…” He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

            Mingyu pouts. “This isn’t fun.”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue. “Ah, don’t throw a tantrum now.”

            Mingyu sticks out his lower lip, reaches his arms up, and makes grabby hands.

            Wonwoo rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. “Oh, get up.” He takes Mingyu’s hands, hooks a toe of his skate into the ice, and pulls Mingyu up, steadying him with his hands on his upper arms. “I know you don’t want me to say this but that was very cute.”

            Mingyu frowns and looks away. “I’ll just watch you.”

            Wonwoo doesn’t let him go. “You’ll hold my hand and we’ll go together. Just keep your weight centered, okay?”

            “This just isn’t my thing—“

            “Mingyu, everything is your thing. It’s really not that hard okay?” He turns to stand sideways next to Mingyu. “Take my hand.” He puts his hand out for Mingyu to hold.

            Mingyu huffs and takes it. “You better not let go.”

            Wonwoo looks into his eyes, shaking his head. “Of course not. I’m here for you, okay? We’ll start nice and slow. Do you trust me?”

            He knows that everything he just said could mean something entirely different—something a lot more than what it is in this context. He doesn’t know how long it will take for Mingyu to understand that Wonwoo really wants to be here for him, and for Mingyu to trust him fully. Hopefully this can be a good starting point.

            Mingyu nods. “I trust you. Even though you laughed at me.”

            “I only laughed because I like you. Now keep your skate on the ice and push off of your right foot.”

 

Wonwoo teaches him how to move forward, how to lean into a turn, how to slow to a stop and how to stop quickly. At first, Mingyu’s hand was in a death grip on Wonwoo’s, but it didn’t take long for Mingyu to warm up to the motions of it.

            In fact, Mingyu is the one who lets go first. Before Wonwoo knows it, Mingyu is just as good as he is, if not even better already. As Wonwoo watches, Mingyu glides easily around the ice, turning backwards sometimes, passing him multiple times. Once, Mingyu skids himself to a full stop, blades sending up a spray of ice, his coat flying out and swinging around his hips. Mingyu watches the ice fall to the rink, and right away he looks over at Wonwoo and laughs, throwing his arms out like he’s having the best time before starting up again.

            Mingyu truly amazes Wonwoo. Mingyu surprises him all the time with how much he knows and can do, but there’s a running theme that Wonwoo should have recognized earlier: if it’s something fun—something good for the soul instead of good for the bank account—Mingyu is good at it. Wonwoo should learn from him.

            And it’s not just that—it’s the fact that Mingyu has the highest capability of finding happiness in smaller things. Whether it’s ice skating, swimming, paragliding, eating, talking to his friends, a chaste kiss, a good movie, or a tiny pink pearl, Mingyu can see happiness in anything. But maybe it’s not that he finds it—maybe the happiness is always inside him.

            It takes Wonwoo a moment to realize he’s been staring, not even moving himself on the ice anymore. And it takes him another moment to realize that Mingyu is coming toward him, and pretty quickly at that. “Mingyu—”

            Mingyu grasps his wrists and suddenly pulls him into a spin.

            “Whoa!” Wonwoo feels like he’s going to fall backward, but Mingyu’s grip on him is tight. “Mingyu!”

            Mingyu giggles and brings them to a stop, keeping hold of Wonwoo’s hands. Wonwoo stares into his eyes, his expression so bright under the lights. Wonwoo shakes his head and says, “You’re amazing, baby.”

            The smile fades from Mingyu’s face into a wide-eyed expression of surprise or wonder.

            Wonwoo blushes a little, realizing what he just said. He didn’t even think about it—didn’t even realize he was going to say anything. It just came out like that. Is that okay for him to say? They are boyfriends, after all. Really, it’s not his decision—it’s Mingyu’s. And he can’t read Mingyu’s expression.

            He squeezes Mingyu’s hands. “Is that okay?”

            Mingyu says nothing. He squeezes Wonwoo’s hands back before shoving forward and kissing him too hard, mushing their lips together ungracefully. Wonwoo hums in surprise and leans back, hoping he doesn’t slip and fall. Mingyu pulls away and says, “Yes. Say it again.”

            Wonwoo smiles. Another small step forward; another piece of Mingyu’s acceptance. “You’re amazing, baby.”

            Mingyu grins and wiggles, giving a high-pitched noise. “I like it. Can I call you baby? No, that sounds weird. What about babe? Or just Wonwoo. Just Wonwoo. Maybe if the time is right babe is okay but just Wonwoo for now.” He breathes in deep and sighs out happily, wiggling his shoulders again. “I like it. I like you.”

            Wonwoo laughs softly. “I like you too.”

            “You should call me that all the time. Every day.”

            Wonwoo laughs again, about to reply, then stops. What Mingyu just said, plus what Mingyu said this morning about kissing him the same way tomorrow… He thinks it’s time he asks the question he’s been wondering about since they got on the plane from Seoul. He doesn’t want to ruin this moment, but it really is important, and since Mingyu just said that…

            “Mingyu, how long are you staying here?”

            Mingyu’s smile fades again, and he starts chewing his lip. “Um…” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

            Wonwoo figured that much. Mingyu probably would be much better off emotionally if this whole thing was just fun times all the time and no important stuff going on or being talked about ever. But those important things are what are going to help build their relationship into something more lasting than what Mingyu is all too used to having on the island. They need to at least start with this. But Wonwoo isn’t sure if Mingyu even knows how long he wants to be here. Wonwoo is a planner, but Mingyu is spontaneous and lives day by day. Wonwoo hopes that it won’t be a problem for them. He hopes that they’ll be somewhat like Mingyu and Jihoon—a good balance for each other in a way that makes them stronger together.

            Wonwoo nods in understanding. “Okay. Jihoon and Hansol will be asking in a while, won’t they?”

            Mingyu nods, looking down. “Yeah.”

            Wonwoo rubs Mingyu’s hands with his thumbs. “It’s okay if you don’t know yet. I understand if you’re still not sure, and we can always talk about it more later. We still have at least a few days hopefully to—”

            “I want more than that.”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “What?”

            “I want more than a few days with you, Wonwoo. That’s what I had when you came to the island and it wasn’t enough and it’s my fault there wasn’t more.” He looks sadly into Wonwoo’s eyes. “I want to stay longer. I’m sorry I don’t know how long yet, but…” He sighs again and his shoulders fall.

            But Wonwoo couldn’t be happier with his answer. No, it’s not definitive, and it does leave a lot out in the open, but the fact that Mingyu _wants_ to spend a lot of time with him means something. “No, it’s okay. I’m happy to have any time with you at all, Mingyu. We’ll figure it out as we go, okay? And if there’s any time that you decide you want to go back, I’m not going to be offended.” He smiles gently. “A little sad, maybe, but that doesn’t matter as long as you’re comfortable.”

            Mingyu stares at him, lips parted, hands tight in Wonwoo’s. “You’re…I can’t believe…” He bites down on his lip again and sighs. “I guess I’m just trying to say thank you.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “There’s nothing to thank me for. You being here is all I’ve wanted ever since I left that island.”

            Mingyu leans forward and hugs him again. It’s a real hug this time—warm and full-bodied and easy to close their eyes to. “I know I’m confusing,” Mingyu says quietly. “Thank you.” He kisses Wonwoo’s cheek.

            Wonwoo feels tingles on his skin and hugs him just a little tighter. “It’s okay, Mingyu. As long as you’re happy.”

            Mingyu pulls away, his big smile back on his face. “With you I am. I’m changing the mood. Skate with me.” He pushes backwards and spins around, darting off down the ice.

            Wonwoo smiles after him, body and heart happy from Mingyu’s hug and kiss, and from the reassurance that even though nothing is sure, they’re both here with each other.

            “Come on, Wonwoo!” Mingyu calls.

            Wonwoo chuckles. “You’re going too fast, baby.”

            “Then catch me!”

            That’s exactly what Wonwoo thinks he needs from Mingyu.

            He grins and starts after him.


	5. September 5; Rose

“I’m actually surprised you even own a game,” Mingyu says, carrying the box over to the coffee table and sitting on the couch.

            “Because I have no life?” Wonwoo asks from the kitchen, laughing down at the clean dishes.

            Mingyu smiles. “You have a life. It’s just that your life is your mysterious job and is different from my life or Jihoon’s life or anyone else’s life.” He lifts the lid off the box and pulls out the game board, placing it on the table. “And that’s okay. I like being a part of your different life.”

            Wonwoo smiles softly, watching Mingyu digging through the game box in the common area. If things were becoming normal before, they feel even more so now. They’ve fallen into a nice easy rhythm, Wonwoo and Mingyu. Wonwoo did take a little more time off work to spend time with Mingyu—just another ten days for now, and he still takes calls and emails from the apartment; he’s very thankful that his employees actually like him. Mingyu didn’t ask him to do that, but sometimes Wonwoo could see that Mingyu wanted to spend a lot of time with him—much more time than they’d have if Wonwoo was going to the office from nine to five or probably nine to eight or eleven like he usually does. And who is Wonwoo to complain about Mingyu wanting that? So Wonwoo took more time, and he doesn’t regret it at all. Spending the whole day with Mingyu doing nothing or all different kinds of things, seeing Mingyu smiling and happy and comfortable, giving in to all of Mingyu’s little “requests” as he likes to call it now when Mingyu wants to be intimate. Even down to just getting some of the best sleep of his life with Mingyu here with him. Time off has never been so healing for Wonwoo, and he hopes that it’s doing the same for Mingyu, little by little.

            Jihoon and Hansol met them for lunch yesterday, thankful for the little Korean restaurant near Wonwoo’s place after almost a week of foreign food. They told Wonwoo that their flight home was that evening, and that they had a third seat reserved should they need it. Wonwoo had given the choice entirely to Mingyu, looking over at him. Mingyu had paused for only a little bit before saying yes, he did want to stay longer with Wonwoo. Wonwoo doesn’t take that pause as a bad thing. He sees it as Mingyu being cautious, and he’s completely okay with that. Mingyu deserves a little skepticism after what he’s been through. But the fact that he said yes hopefully means that he trusts Wonwoo. And Wonwoo intends to prove to Mingyu that he can.

            Jihoon and Hansol didn’t even ask if Mingyu was sure about his decision. They smiled, and they nodded, and they said that was fine, good even. And Wonwoo thinks that maybe they could tell that Mingyu has been doing well here. And he also wonders if maybe Jihoon and Hansol were actually a little bit _happy_ about Mingyu staying. Not in the sense that he wouldn’t be coming back with them, but because of the fact that Wonwoo was sort of right with what he said before—Mingyu needed this change of location, even if it’s not for very long, and it’s made him more at ease, especially since Wonwoo is with him pretty much all the time. Wonwoo wonders if Mingyu will get sick of being with him so much, but he is sure that right now, Mingyu shows absolutely no signs of that at all. Wonwoo might say that sometimes he gets a little too much of Mingyu, except that he enjoys it too much to ever really think that. Besides, the time and proximity means more bonding, more learning, and more helping each other.

            Not to mention more warm hugs, more soft kisses, more tangled sheets, more pink cheeks, more pretty smiles and cute laughs, and more playing weird games he hasn’t laid eyes on since he was a teenager.

            “Pick a color,” Mingyu says.

            “Is there black?” Wonwoo asks, coming into the room and leaning over the back of the couch over Mingyu’s shoulder.

            Mingyu makes a face up at him. “If there is then I’m throwing it out the window. Pick another one.”

            Wonwoo tisks. “Why don’t you pick for me while I go change into something comfy. I’m full after that dinner.” He kisses Mingyu’s head. “You’re a great cook, by the way,” he calls, walking off down the hallway into the bedroom.

            “Jun and Seokmin teach me on down time,” Mingyu says. “I’m choosing purple for you.”

            “I think you should be purple. It’s the color of royalty.”

            Mingyu looks over at the empty hallway, smiling. “Ah…I didn’t know that. But if you insist. How about blue?”

            “Perfect.”

            Mingyu claps quietly and places the blue game piece on the board. “Are you naked right now?” he calls.

            A pause from Wonwoo. “Hush and set up the game.”

            Mingyu giggles. He goes into the box and pulls out the instructions because Wonwoo says he forgot how to play since it’s been “maybe years,” in his words. Mingyu thinks that Wonwoo was a grown up by the time he could start forming words at all. He shakes his head and unfolds the instructions to—

            There’s a light knock on the door. Mingyu is about to call out to let Wonwoo know, but he’s been here for a week now and he feels like he’s answered the door for food a good enough number of times to just do it himself by now. Not that they ordered any food since they just made dinner…

            Mingyu tilts his head, putting down the instructions and going to the door, forcing his brain over to minimal English. He opens the door and sees a man standing there in plain clothes and a baseball cap, holding a small, long white box in his hands. “Hello,” Mingyu says.

            “Delivery for Mingyu Kim?”

            His English hasn’t exactly doubled since he’s been here, but Mingyu does recognize his name and the fact that the man is handing the box out to him. He takes it, smiles, and says, “Oh. Thank you. Uh—what is it?” He points at the box.

            The man adjusts his cap and nods. “Have a nice day.” He walks down the hallway and around the corner.

            Mingyu watches him disappear, then looks down at the box, wondering what that was about. Maybe this is a gift for him. He steps back inside as he opens it. His eyes widen and he draws in a quiet breath as he tucks the box inside its lid. “Oh, pretty…” he says, switching back to Korean. He pulls the single red rose out of the box so gently, staring at it as he closes the door behind him. He twirls the rose in his fingers, walking to the coffee table and putting the box down next to the one for the game. He already knows Wonwoo is too kind and awkwardly sweet and isn’t unlikely to do something like this, but it’s still a surprise for Mingyu.

            He grins and starts toward the hallway, rounding the couch. “You couldn’t have gotten a full bouquet?” he calls. “You’re surprisingly cheap, Wonwoo.”

            After a moment, Wonwoo calls back, “What are you talking about?”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes, leaning against the counter by the kitchen, facing the hallway. “I got your delivery. It’s very pretty.” He brings the flower to his nose, breathing in the sweet smell.

            “Delivery?” Wonwoo finally comes out into the living room in track pants and a t-shirt. He looks at the rose in Mingyu’s fingers. “What’s that?”

            Mingyu holds it out. “Your rose, silly.”

            Wonwoo gazes at it for a moment. “Mingyu, I didn’t get you any roses.”

            The smile fades from Mingyu’s face. He looks at the rose, then back at Wonwoo. “You didn’t?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head, crossing his arms uncomfortably in front of himself.

            “Then who did?” Mingyu says.

            “Are you sure it’s for you?”

            Mingyu nods, hooking a thumb over his shoulder at the coffee table. “Yeah, it came in a box and the delivery guy said it was for me. I don’t…”

            Wonwoo goes straight to the table. “This is it?” he asks, pointing at the box.

            Mingyu just nods. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Wonwoo. I shouldn’t have opened the door myself.”

            “No, baby, it’s fine. Who delivered? What company?”

            Mingyu just shakes his head slightly, following him. “I…I don’t know. I didn’t pay attention. I don’t remember seeing a patch or…”

            Wonwoo picks up the box, opens it, turns it in his hands. “No note?”

            Mingyu shakes his head again. Slowly, he puts the rose down on the table, not wanting to hold it anymore. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

            Wonwoo sighs. “It wouldn’t be from one of the guys, right? Goodbye gift maybe, or a…we miss you?”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “They would put their name. Definitely a note. They wouldn’t even send one anyway.”

            “That’s weird,” Wonwoo says. He sighs, putting the box down and holding his elbows. “Why would someone send you a rose? Do you know anyone who would?”

            He looks up at Mingyu, and Mingyu is staring down at the flower on the table. He’s biting his lip hard, and his eyes are focused and shiny. Not looking away from the rose he says, “Wonwoo…”

            Wonwoo realizes at about the same time that Mingyu starts to close in on himself. “Oh god.” He goes to Mingyu and wraps his arms around him. “Oh no… Mingyu, it’s going to be okay.”

            “He knows where we live,” Mingyu wheezes out, holding his arms tight around Wonwoo’s waist, still staring at the table.

            Wonwoo turns them so Mingyu isn’t looking anymore. He rubs Mingyu’s back gently. “Mingyu, don’t worry. I will not let anything happen to you.”

            Mingyu presses his face down into Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo walks them to the couch and sits them down, holding on to Mingyu as Mingyu leans into his body.

            There’s nothing telling them for sure that it’s him, but they both seem to know anyway. Even though it’s been a very long time since Mingyu has seen him, there’s still no other option in their minds of who it could be. Somehow a stranger would be less scary than this.

            Wonwoo knows neither of them are prepared to come into contact with the person from Mingyu’s past. Mingyu has been sheltered on that island for longer than Wonwoo knows, taken absolute care of by eleven staff members, including a licensed therapist with a full knowledge of what happened to Mingyu. Mingyu has none of that here. All he has is Wonwoo. Which means that Wonwoo is going to have to do everything he can to make sure that nothing happens to Mingyu. The last thing he wants is for Mingyu to shut down because Wonwoo couldn’t do anything to help him.

            Wonwoo presses a kiss into Mingyu’s hair. “Don’t worry, baby.”

            Mingyu’s voice shakes. “He came all the way here. He’ll find us.”

            “I won’t let him touch you.”

            “But what if—”

            “Look at me, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu leans back slowly, gazing into Wonwoo’s face. Mingyu’s eyes are big, childlike as they always get when he’s worried or sad or scared. Wonwoo runs his fingers through Mingyu’s hair, soothing him. “Listen, baby. We will figure it out. He can’t do anything to hurt us, and if he keeps doing these kinds of things, I’ll go to the police and they’ll handle it. It…it may not even be him. This could be a mistake.” He knows that’s wishful thinking.

            “He said my name, Wonwoo,” Mingyu says, gripping hard onto Wonwoo’s shirt. “That guy said it was for _me_. I don’t know anybody in New York. That’s why I thought it was you. But he does international business too and he’s been here before and there’s—there’s no other way, Wonwoo. There’s no way. It’s him and he found me and—” His voice breaks and his chin starts to tremble.

            Wonwoo holds Mingyu’s face gently in his hands. “Count with me.”

            “Wh-What?”

            “My mother used to do this. Count.”

            Mingyu sighs heavily, closing his eyes. “One. Two. Three…” He sighs again, squeezing his eyes shut tight, letting a tear slip out.

            Wonwoo brushes it away with his thumb. “Mhm. Four…”

            They make it to twelve before Mingyu finally relaxes a little bit. Wonwoo kisses Mingyu’s forehead so gently, then Mingyu stays leaning close to him, pulling his hands away and leaving wrinkles in the sides of Wonwoo’s shirt. He shakes his head, Wonwoo’s palms soft on his cheeks. “This isn’t good, Wonwoo.”

            Of course it’s not good. But Wonwoo doesn’t think this is going to become a big issue. Right? It’s not like this is going to escalate into something, right? This is just a rose, and since they’re not going to do anything about it, this will all disappear as fast as it happened. This is over now. Wonwoo will make sure of it, if he can.

            “It’s all right, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu sniffs. “He must know about you. I bet he isn’t happy.”

            “I don’t care how he feels. He doesn’t matter to me. You do.”

            Mingyu looks down at his hands. “What if he tries to find me?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s a big city, Mingyu. Millions of people are here. He won’t.”

            Mingyu nods like he knew that already. “I know, but what if he comes here? He knows we’re here and—”

            “Then he’s trespassing,” Wonwoo says. “And we’ll definitely have grounds to call the police. All right?” Mingyu hums and keeps looking down. Wonwoo caresses Mingyu’s cheekbones with his thumbs. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I promise I’ll be here for you.”

            Mingyu forces a smile. “Okay.”

            Wonwoo kisses his forehead again, then puts his hands on Mingyu’s legs, giving a reassuring squeeze. “Okay. Good. Now what should we do with that rose?”

            Mingyu sits up straighter and scrunches his nose. “Well, we can’t burn it.”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “You’re right. Probably set off the alarm.”

            Mingyu purses his lips, thinking. “Mmm…throwing it away isn’t good enough. Garbage disposal?”

            Wonwoo points at Mingyu and says, “Good idea, baby. I like the way you think.”

            Mingyu beams with pride and maybe a little momentary insanity.

            Wonwoo boops his nose with the tip of his finger. “I’ll hit the switch, you destroy it. Deal?”

            Mingyu leans over and grabs the rose, then kisses Wonwoo quickly. “Deal.”


	6. September 8; It's Been So Long

It always amazes Wonwoo how much Mingyu is capable of eating, and he still looks as fit and healthy as he always has. He sits across from Mingyu at their dinner table in the restaurant, watching Mingyu shovel food into his mouth, always talking with his mouth full when he thinks of one of his million things to say to Wonwoo.

            “And I really miss the water,” Mingyu says through his chicken. “I used to swim at least four or five days a week. But it’s getting cold now here so I guess that’s not really an option…” He frowns and swallows before taking another bite.

            Wonwoo smiles at him. “Actually—and I hate to say this, but this _is_ New York City. There are indoor places if that’s something you’d want to do.”

            Mingyu looks up with big eyes. “Really?” he says, too loudly.

            Wonwoo laughs a little and hushes him. He doesn’t mean to look around in embarrassment, but there’s a hostess up at the front doors who’s been eyeing Mingyu from behind him since they walked in—first for the obvious reason, and then later with a little more disdain when it became also obvious that Mingyu and Wonwoo are not coworkers. Now every time Mingyu gets a little louder than the other people here, the hostess sends a glare in their direction. Wonwoo tries to make eye contact with her, but she looks away as the doors open and another customer enters the restaurant.

            The lights practically reflect off of the man, he’s wearing so much white. Aside from extremely glossy black shoes, his jeans are so light and washed they may as well be white, and a white turtleneck shows under a well-matched white coat—the exact monochromatic opposite of Wonwoo’s black one—as he begins to strip it off broad shoulders. His skin is pale enough to make his lips stand out very red and his eye makeup very black. His hair is styled into a messy quiff, perfectly platinum blonde.

            Wonwoo chuckles and looks back at Mingyu. “I think my anti just walked in.”

            Mingyu makes a weird smile and tilts his head. “What?”

            Wonwoo lifts his chin towards the front doors, over Mingyu’s shoulder. Mingyu smiles and turns around to see.

            And then Mingyu turns back around, and the usual beautiful color is gone from his face. His voice is scarily shaky, his hands not much better. “Wonwoo, we have to leave. Right now.”

            Wonwoo blinks. “Is everything…” He looks back up at the customer, now being led by the hostess in their direction.

            It hits him like a two-ton weight, but he thinks it must have been so much heavier for Mingyu. Three days after they received the rose and he feels like he mostly forgot about it, and the feelings from the event had also dissipated. He’s not a hundred percent sure about Mingyu, but he likes to think he’d recognize it if Mingyu hadn’t been feeling his best, still affected by that night. Wonwoo thought Mingyu had been fine. Mingyu probably thought he’d been fine himself, too.

            They should have been fine. They should _be_ fine. This shouldn’t be happening.

            _There is no way this is happening._

            It’s only now that Wonwoo realizes he never knew what Wonho looked like. Apparently today is the day he was to find out.

            He finds his voice just as weak as Mingyu’s. “Oh god…”

            “Wonwoo.”

            “ _Mingyu?_ ”

            Mingyu winces at the call of his name. He leans away from the aisle, shrinking down, fork clattering to his plate.

            Wonwoo watches him. He hates himself for being able to do nothing, for being totally frozen. They should have gotten up and left the moment they had the chance, dinner paid for or not. Would that have made a difference? Would that have made it so he couldn’t have found them?

            Something tells Wonwoo that Wonho showing up here is the farthest thing from a coincidence.

            He looks one more time at Mingyu, and then up at the man who ruined him. “Excuse me.”

            Wonho beams down at him, teeth as immaculately white as his clothes. “Hey, nice to meet you. Really _so_ nice.” He puts an intrusive hand down on Wonwoo’s shoulder, grip firm. Wonwoo feels immediately disgusted. Mingyu’s eyes are wide looking at that hand on him. “Shin Wonho. Old friend of Mingyu’s, here. Mind if I join you two? I’ll be sitting here, thanks,” he says, turning to the hostess, speaking his last sentence in English better than Wonwoo’s.

            Wonwoo would like to think she’d object to it if she weren’t already against him. She just waves a hand and walks back to the front.

            Wonho grins hugely at them again and pulls back one of the other two chairs, plopping down between them. Mingyu flinches as Wonho tucks in his chair and leans his elbows on the table, tenting his fingers in what Wonwoo learned a long time ago is a classic power position. “Wow, I really can’t believe it,” he says. “Kim Mingyu, in New York City! It’s been so long. What, almost a year? Really great to see you again. I forgot how handsome you are.”

            Wonwoo can see how hard Mingyu is trying not to look at him, but he’s struggling. Struggling to hold back tears, too. He manages to do at least one. He turns his gaze on Wonho. “What are you doing here?” he says, practically just a breath.

            Wonwoo wants to pull Mingyu close into his side. He wants to go back in time and leave when Mingyu said they should. Better yet—he wants to go back in time and _not_ tell Mingyu about this great restaurant he knows over on second and twelfth, _not_ convince Mingyu to come here because he’ll love it even when Mingyu said he wanted to save it for tomorrow and stay in tonight.

            But again—would that have made a difference? Would it have only been a night’s delay? Would it have been tomorrow, then, that he found them here, or at any other restaurant?

            “I just flew in from Seoul…what was it, the twenty-eighth?” Wonho says.

            The exact day they flew in, Wonwoo remembers. He still has the tickets. Does that mean…?

            Wonwoo would typically reject the thought right away, but he finds that he’s actually not surprised at all when he realizes that Wonho likely hasn’t been following them since New York, but all the way back when they were in Seoul. Maybe it was only the airport, maybe it was before then. Maybe Wonho somehow found out about Wonwoo going to the island—a coincidence that it was him, really—and then has been watching ever since. Or maybe it was some other horrible coincidence that gave Wonho the opportunity to catch the smallest glimpse of them together in the airport terminal. Wonwoo doesn’t know which one sounds more plausible—both seem entirely ridiculous to his own brain.

            But regardless of how insane, Wonho is still right here, sitting with them at their dinner table, smiling his shit-eating smile at Mingyu.

            “Never enjoyed the flight,” Wonho says. “Too fucking long. Would have been much better if I’d had someone to sit with. Like you,” he says, and then he turns his gaze on Wonwoo. Wonwoo sees the malice in his eyes, way back past the practiced makeup and long lashes and chocolate brown. “What’s your name then?”

            Wonwoo doesn’t want to tell him anything. But it’s not like he has a choice. And it’s not like Wonho doesn’t know already anyway. “Wonwoo.”

            Wonho raises his eyebrows. “Whoa. Thought we’d have the same name for a second there. You look like you make six figures a week, Wonwoo. Got a job here in Manhattan?”

            “He’s a respectable businessman,” Mingyu says boldly. He’s glaring at Wonho, his anxiety and shock masked with something akin to anger. But his voice still trembles with every word. Wonwoo hears the rest of his sentence in his head: _Unlike you_.

            Wonho smiles at Mingyu and nods. “That so? Sounds great. Sounds like half the city, right?” He chuckles.

            Wonwoo already knows that Wonho couldn’t give two shits about his job or his status, whether he knows what he does already or not. To Wonho, Wonwoo is nothing but a wall standing in his way.

            “I’m here on some pretty important business, too,” Wonho says, like he’s telling them a big secret. Then he leans back and waves a hand at a waiter. As the guy comes to their table, Wonho leans back in and says, “I was at this function for my business just a few days ago and I was asked to help with the decorating, right? And so I’m looking all over this city trying to find some fucking _flowers_.” The waiter arrives and Wonho tells them to hold on and starts giving the waiter his order.

            Mingyu glances at Wonwoo like he’s all too aware what’s happening. Wonwoo gives him the most assuring look he can. Because he can’t do anything better, he mouths, _Don’t worry._

Mingyu looks back at him with that exact worry in his eyes. _I’m scared._

_Mingyu…_

The waiter walks away and Wonho leans back in, still smiling. “Let me tell you—you know how hard it is to get a rose this time of year?” He does a laugh that sounds like a scoff and shakes his head. “New York never meets its great expectations.”

            Wonwoo doesn’t know if it’s the rose, the phrase that’s the same as the book he read to him, or just Wonho’s general presence, but he sees Mingyu curl inward, just a little bit more. He wraps his arms around his front, holding tight to his own sleeves, hands fisted in all too familiar paws around the ends.

            Wonwoo really feels like he needs to say something. He knows he probably can’t end this, can’t get Wonho to leave them alone, but he needs to take some attention off of Mingyu. He takes a breath and says, “Well, it’s winter coming now. I find that closer to the end of summer—a month, month and a half ago, maybe—the roses are much better. Darker and sweeter. _Nicer_ , if you know what I mean. Roses that show up around this time,” he shakes his head, looking into Wonho’s eyes. “Worthless. Better to just get rid of them.”

            Wonho’s smile falters momentarily. He regains it and says, “Good to know. And yes, I know just what you mean. I have sort of a thing for flowers, too. The tropical ones are my favorite—the ones that love the sun and the water and the heat. Truly the sweetest, the most beautiful. I find that they can take a lot, too, you know? You can do anything to them and they’ll still remain just as beautiful as before. Sturdy, I guess you’d say. But if you’re more of a rose kind of guy…” His eyes travel briefly down and up Wonwoo’s body, where Wonwoo knows he sees less muscle mass than on his own. Physical power as well as mental. Wonho says, “I guess you would know more than me about wilting.”

            Wonwoo clenches his jaw. He doesn’t mean to, but he flicks his gaze to Mingyu. He’s sitting there, staring, listening to them, practically vibrating in his seat. Pieces of his hair hang over his forehead and dangle into his eyes. He’s chewing his lip harder than he did before—back on the island when Wonwoo told him he wanted to stay, told him he had feelings for him. But he’s doing it for a different reason now. Mingyu is scared— _terrified_ even. And this ridiculous exchange of metaphors and Wonho’s bringing up without saying it the things he did to Mingyu and playing it off like it’s some desirable quality in Mingyu that he withstood it for all that time… Wonwoo knows he can never understand fully how Mingyu is feeling right now, but he can see a lot of it in his teary gaze.

            If Wonwoo still had three wishes, his first would be the chance to give Mingyu the longest, tightest hug he possibly could. And if he couldn’t have that, he’d at least wish for Wonho to be as far away as possible.

            But there aren’t any wishes here, no matter how much he and Mingyu could use them.

            Wonwoo draws in another deep breath, trying to calm himself, and says, “Well, I hope you found what you were looking for. For your business.”

            Wonho’s smile is still plastered on. “Oh, I did. I found exactly what I was looking for, even all the way here in New York. Took a while, but it was really worth the wait.” His smile gets impossibly brighter and he says, “For my business.”

            The waiter brings another glass to the table, sets it in front of Wonho, and fills it with water. Without asking he refills Wonwoo’s glass too. Suddenly, Wonwoo doesn’t want to drink it anymore

            Wonho thanks the waiter and takes a sip, gazing at Wonwoo over the rim of the glass. “So. How did you two meet?” he asks, waving his glass between them. “Can’t be work related, right?”

            Mingyu gives Wonwoo a look like he doesn’t want him to say the truth. Wonwoo clenches and unclenches his jaw again. “That’s correct. We met when I was on an away trip from my company.”

            Wonho nods like he knew that already. “Uh-huh. Very cool. And what do you do for a living now, Mingyu? Still at the old job? Quick vacation?”

            Mingyu tucks his shoulders up and tilts his head slowly, like there’s a pain inside him making him writhe. Wonwoo figures there probably is. God, he wishes he could do something. Mingyu says through a tight throat, “I…I’m just, um…”

            Wonho smiles at him and nods sincerely, like he truly understands. “Still shy? That’s all right. Cute, isn’t it?” he asks Wonwoo.

            Wonwoo doesn’t answer him.

            Wonho laughs again. Wonwoo watches his eyes squint at the corners. “You must be heading back soon, then. Unless you plan to stay for a while? I’d love to see you around. Maybe we could get together at some point. Old time’s sake.”

            Mingyu takes a quick breath, has to sigh it out, takes another and says, “You—you know that’s not…”

            Wonwoo is about to finish for him and say that just the suggestion of having Mingyu spend any amount of time with or near Wonho is completely ridiculous and not an option, but Wonho cuts him off and says, “Truly so shy! It’s all right, Mingyu. You know I still like you anyway.”

            Wonwoo feels like he’ll explode. But when he looks at Mingyu, he looks like he’s about to crumble. Mingyu’s eyes blink slowly down at the table, and he sways in his seat. Momentarily, Wonwoo thinks he’s going to pass out, slump to the floor so his body doesn’t have to handle the stress any longer.

            “Of course I do,” Wonho says, reassuring everyone of what he said as if they hadn’t heard him before.

            Mingyu stays up. Wonwoo almost wishes he hadn’t.

            “Maybe it’s time we get home,” Wonwoo says.

            His muscles hardly engage to stand before Wonho grins at him again. “Ah, don’t run away now. Your guest hasn’t even gotten his food yet. And doesn’t Mingyu look a little pale? He really needs to be taken care of, you know. Have you been eating enough, Mingyu? You can have some of mine when it gets here if you want.”

            Wonwoo forces himself to rest back in his seat. Leaving is all he wants, but he knows Wonho won’t let them go quietly. He would argue, but it would be no use. Wonwoo’s not even sure if Mingyu can stand on his own right now. He knows that the only way they’re leaving is if Wonho gets up first.

            They’ll have to last until then, all the way across this mile long table from each other.

 

The banter lasts for a long time. Even when Wonho’s food arrives, and even as Mingyu and Wonwoo’s plates are finally cold, dead on the table, it still doesn’t end.

            “You like this place, Mingyu?” Wonho asks, twirling pasta properly in a spoon with his fork.

            Mingyu blinks, eyes hazy. “Um…it’s fine. I came here because Wonwoo said he liked it and I trust him.”

            Wonho nods. “Cute. It’s not my favorite.”

            Wonwoo wants to say _Then why are you here_. But it’s not like he doesn’t already know the answer.

            There are rarely times when Wonwoo wishes he were more of an aggressive person—sometimes it’s a big business deal, sometimes it’s a bad client. Right now he finds it’s another one of those times. Even if he didn’t punch Wonho in his smug face every time he forces Mingyu to talk or to look at him or to even think of him, Wonwoo would at least like to be able to use his words a little better, tell Wonho to get lost like the rich guys do in the movies. Wonho blatantly mocking their relationship is eating Wonwoo inside, but for some reason he’s stuck. He knows he’s not aggressive; he wishes he could be for Mingyu. Although, he knows that half the reason that Mingyu trusts him and feels safe around him is that he is too gentle.

            “I like it,” Mingyu insists, voice raspy.

            Wonho tilts his head. “You must not have been hungry, then, with all that left on your plate. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe a trip to New York wasn’t the best idea.”

            Wonho really does have a way with words. Every other sentence out of his mouth is a jab at Wonwoo, even if he doesn’t say it like it would be. Mocking his style, disrespecting his job, disregarding the validity or even the reality of their relationship. Wonho knows exactly how to say things so that it hits Wonwoo, but makes it so he can’t say anything back. Not unless he wants to cause a scene where he’s the one who looks like the bad guy, and drawing more attention to Mingyu is not something he wants to happen.

            “He’s enjoying the trip,” Wonwoo says.

            Wonho’s eye smile turns on him again. “You think so? I apologize for my mistake, then. Maybe it’s just lack of sleep. I know the jet lag can be killer, even a week or two later. Where are you staying? Some hotels have a pretty face but aren’t as great once you step inside.”

            _How ironic,_ Wonwoo thinks. He’s about to say that he’s found a good place for Mingyu to stay, try to skirt around the question, when Mingyu says, answering automatically with no thought at this point like he’s been doing just to get Wonho to move on, “I’m not at a hotel. I’m staying with Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo presses his lips together. It’s not like Wonho didn’t know, but saying it out loud makes it very official for him. Or maybe Wonho didn’t know, and Mingyu just accidentally revealed another, deeper level of his relationship with Wonwoo. Or…did Mingyu do that on purpose?

            No, Wonwoo doesn’t think so, because Mingyu regains a little clarity in his features and ticks his gaze up at Wonwoo, eyes brighter. He didn’t mean to say that. “I mean…I…”

            “Ah!” Wonho says, putting a hand on his head like he just remembered something. “I mean to ask before, even though,” he chuckles fakely, “well, it’s pretty obvious. Thank you for reminding me, Mingyu. Are you two a real item? Lovely couple?”

            Finally to the point of coming here, other than scaring Mingyu, Wonwoo thinks. Half of him wants to say no, in hopes of keeping Wonho’s anger at bay and protecting Mingyu. But the other half of him is immensely proud of his relationship with Mingyu and wants to rub the whole thing in Wonho’s face. That, and show him that Mingyu is here with him because they _actually_ care about each other. Because Mingyu feels so much more for Wonwoo than he ever could have for Wonho. And he’s here because Wonwoo treats him right, and like an adult, and like a _person_.

            It’s unfortunate that he and Mingyu say it at the same time: “Yes.”

            The corners of Wonho’s eyes crinkle again. “Wow. Cute. So cute I could squeeze the life out of it, you know?” He brings a hand up and wrings the air. Mingyu flinches at the sight of it. Wonho laughs and says, “Really, though, you two make a…an interesting couple. I wouldn’t think I’d see Mingyu with someone quite like you, Wonwoo. Not to say it as an insult.”

            Bullshit. An insult is exactly what it was.

            Wonwoo squints a little at him. “No, it’s fine. I guess even if I’m not similar to some people Mingyu has been with before, I still do my best for him. He’s told me that some people haven’t.”

            Fuck. He didn’t mean to say that. He doesn’t want anything to be weighted on Mingyu.

            Wonho squints back. Some of the false kindness in his voice drips away. “Has he? And what exactly do you believe?”

            “H…hey, I—” Mingyu says, then startles when Wonho looks right at him.

            “I’m sorry, I’m talking with Wonwoo,” Wonho says flatly.

            Mingyu blinks fast and looks down at the table.

            Wonwoo really wishes stabbing people with a steak knife wasn’t illegal. This needs to end. He needs to get Mingyu away and home and let him rest his body and his mind and try to make him feel better. Maybe it’s at least worth another shot at ending the conversation. He says, “You know, it has been a really long night.”

            Wonho just glares at him for a moment, and then his face fixes itself back into his mechanical grin, eyes brightening. “You’re right, Wonwoo. This place really isn’t my favorite anyway. I think I’ll be going.”

            He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his wallet, digging in without looking, and places two fifty-dollar bills on the table. Wonwoo wants to rip them in half while Wonho stands and takes his coat from the chair. But he can’t say he isn’t glad and so relieved that Wonho is finally leaving. Wonwoo supposes he got all the information he needed from this encounter.

            “My treat,” Wonho says. “Getting to see you again, Mingyu, is worth it. Maybe I’ll see you around?” He puts on his coat while Mingyu just swallows hard. Wonwoo thinks his shoulders might have relaxed just a little bit. “It’s a big city, but I know my way. And Wonwoo.” He turns to Wonwoo and bows, barely. “Again, nice to meet you. Glad you brought Mingyu here for a while. Hope the two of you are having a lot of fun together until, you know, work and all that catches up and it’s time to head home. Happens to the best of us, right?” He laughs a final time. Wonwoo hopes he never hears it again. “What I should be doing now—you two kept me here late! Anyway, have a good night back at the apartment, guys, if you know what I mean.”

            And then Wonho winks at Wonwoo. Wonwoo remembers Hansol saying and doing something similar back on the island, but that didn’t bother him. _This_ bothers him to his core. The difference is the hate in Wonho’s eyes—double what it was when he walked in. Wonho gives his kindest fake smile to Mingyu and turns to go.

            Wonwoo watches him leave the doors, just to make sure he’s actually gone, and then he looks at Mingyu.

            Mingyu’s lip trembles and his body wavers, loose in his chair. “Wonwoo, I—I don’t want to cry, but—”

            Wonwoo just stands and goes to him, pulling him up and into a hug. Mingyu makes a pained noise and buries his face in Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo is sure people are looking at them—two men hugging, one of them crying, in the middle of the restaurant—but he couldn’t care less. After all of that, Mingyu needs all the comfort Wonwoo is capable of giving, no matter where they are.

            “Mingyu.” He rubs Mingyu’s back. “Mingyu, baby. I’m so sorry. If I had known—”

            “You didn’t know. You—” His breath hitches in his throat. “You did what you could and I—I just…I just want to go home. Please take me back to the apartment. Please. I don’t want to talk about it. Please.”

            They need to talk about it. They need to figure out what they’re going to do. Wonwoo needs to know if Mingyu is going to stay. But maybe not tonight. God knows talking about it is not one of their specialties, even if they’re getting a little better at it over time. But tonight isn’t for talking about Wonho—tonight is for Mingyu, and being as close together as possible until he’s hopefully able to go to sleep.

            “Okay,” Wonwoo says, brushing the back of Mingyu’s hair. “Okay, Mingyu.” He kisses Mingyu’s cheek and Mingyu looks into his eyes, his face wet with tears and his eyes red and puffy. “What can I do for you, Mingyu? Can I make you hot cocoa? In the Gudetama mug?”

            Mingyu sniffs and nods. “Okay.”

            Wonwoo smiles as much as he can and touches Mingyu’s nose before brushing his hair back. “And can we put on rain sounds and cuddle together?”

            Mingyu nods fast. “Yes please.”

            “Good.” _And we’ll try to forget everything that just happened even though I know you’ll never forget it and you’ll never forget what he did to you before and the scars will never fully disappear. I know that hot chocolate and blankets won’t fix anything but maybe it will help, and I_ promise _you that I will do everything I can. I promise._

But no—he doesn’t promise. He _will_. Like Jisoo told him way back then and like he said he would, he will do everything he can.

            “Okay. Come on, baby.” He takes Mingyu’s hand and laces their fingers tight. “Let’s get out of here and never come back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breath, everyone.


	7. September 15; Beautiful Mess

“You look so much better than me in shorts.”

            Mingyu grins and sticks his leg out, posing. “Cute, right?”

            “Very. You’re so tan. I wish I had your legs.”

            Mingyu practically hops over to him, saying, “You might say that you do, since I’m yours.” He kisses Wonwoo on the cheek.

            Wonwoo is glad to see Mingyu smiling. What happened last week in the restaurant left a mark, and while Mingyu’s moods are always changing and he can go from giggling to serious to pouty and back to grinning again in the span of an hour, and even though that did still happen in these days following that night, Wonwoo still knows a lot of it was hiding how Mingyu really felt, especially during the few days immediately following the event. His smiles were weaker for those few days, his eyes not as bright as they usually are. And his low moods were even lower, and often ended with him melting onto the sofa and just playing with his hands or turning on the TV to watch something mindlessly. And Wonwoo won’t lie—he did mind it. Not because it annoyed him, or because he didn’t want to take care of Mingyu during those times and bring him pillows and water and whatever he wanted because he did. What he minded was the fact that any of that happened to Mingyu in the first place. What he minded—what he still minds now—is that _he_ brought Mingyu to a place where it became possible for that to happen to him at all. To the restaurant, and to New York in general.

            Two days after the dinner, Wonwoo had brought Mingyu warm milk tea in bed and had asked him if he wanted to call Jihoon about everything.

            Mingyu just held his mug in his hands, looking down at it. “Mmm…” He shrugged. “I do want to talk to everyone.”

            “Then let’s call them right now,” Wonwoo said.

            And Mingyu replied, “But I don’t want to tell them what happened.”

            That confused Wonwoo a little bit, wondering why Mingyu wouldn’t want to see if they couldn’t get some help from Jihoon with this whole situation. But he did know that Jihoon is far away, and while he might be able to find out about Wonho, there probably isn’t much he doesn’t already know. And Wonwoo also knew—still knows now—that calling Jihoon still won’t stop Wonho, especially if Jihoon is all the way on the island. He asked, “Why not, Mingyu?”

            Mingyu shrugged again. “I don’t want them to be worried. I don’t want…” He trailed off and thought for a second, seeming to change his words. “Remember what I said about Jihoon? About him thinking that what happened to me was his fault because he brought me to the island?”

            And then Wonwoo understood, although he feels a little bit more like _he’s_ the one who’s done Mingyu wrong this time—that’s exactly what he minds about this whole thing. But Jihoon did give Mingyu the okay to come here at all, which is what Mingyu seemed to be worried over. Not that that means anything at all is Jihoon’s fault. It isn’t even Wonwoo’s fault either, though he feels that way. No—it’s all just Wonho.

            But Wonwoo knows he shouldn’t blame himself, and knows that there wasn’t any way he could have known that would happen or could have prevented it. But he still carries some guilt. Guilt that Mingyu ever came into contact with Wonho again. That wouldn’t have happened on the island.

            He nodded. “I understand. We won’t tell them if you don’t want to. I just want you to be safe.”

            Mingyu nodded and managed a tiny smile. “Okay. Thank you. I am excited to say hi though. Ah, I miss them! Can we put it on speaker? I hope everyone’s there.”

            Wonwoo kissed his forehead. “They will be, Mingyu. Let me find Jihoon’s secret cell phone number again.”

            And now, a week later, Mingyu is better. It’s been a while since that happened, and things have gone back to how they were on Mingyu’s first days here—before the rose, before the dinner. Wonwoo hopes that Mingyu feels safe again.

            Mingyu at least feels safe enough to go out on a picnic lunch with him today.

            So he kisses Mingyu’s cheek in return and says, “Good thing you wore them today since it might be your last chance before we start to cool down. I’ll stick with jeans. So have you decided on Greek or Indian because I have to call it in so we can pick it up on the way.”

            Mingyu makes a conflicted face. “Ah, I still don’t know. Indian? No—Greek. I want lamb.”

            Wonwoo smiles. “For a picnic?”

            “And soup.” He gasps. “ _And that dessert thing_.”

            “Baklava?”

            “Yes! Please?” He bounces on his toes, holding Wonwoo’s arm.

            Wonwoo laughs and hooks his arm in Mingyu’s to lead him out the door. “The place I know sells three different flavors so I guess we’ll just have to have them all.”

            Mingyu squeals and hugs Wonwoo’s arm tight in his own.

            Wonwoo brings Mingyu’s hand up to kiss it as he opens the door.

            They both pause in the doorway. Wonwoo slowly lowers their hands down to their sides, but doesn’t let go.

            A box. A smallish unmarked box wrapped in white paper.

            Wonwoo would think that Wonho would at least try to make it look like an actual mailed package. Or maybe that’s exactly why he didn’t.

            They both stare down at it. Mingyu says, “Wonwoo.”

            “Don’t touch it.”

            Mingyu squeezes his hand. “It’s not a bomb. He wouldn’t kill me.” He says it as if it could be a joke, but his voice is completely even, monotone.

            Wonwoo knows that isn’t calm in Mingyu’s voice—it’s only fear. “Just…let me get it.” He forces himself to let go of Mingyu’s hand, bends over, and picks up the box, bringing it inside.

            Mingyu stands there as the door closes behind him, watching Wonwoo carry the box to the dining table. “What are we going to do with it?”

            Wonwoo digs his fingers under the edge of the paper. “I’m going to open it.” Mingyu starts toward him. “Stay over there,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu doesn’t. He comes to stand next to Wonwoo, arms limp by his sides, staring.

            Wonwoo sighs and tears the paper away. Inside is the actual box—wooden, stained, with silver hinges on one side. Held with a sticker in the shape of a gold star against the box is a note in neat black Hangeul. Wonwoo takes it off and holds it up to read.

 

_I thought this might be something you would like. Just like old times, right? Xx_

He puts it face down on the table before Mingyu says anything. It’s not like he can’t feel Mingyu already starting to tremble beside him anyway.

            He opens the box to see what’s inside.

            Mingyu makes a small whine in his throat—like a puppy scared of a much bigger, more menacing dog. “Wonwoo, it’s…”

            Two triangular glasses, a small vodka bottle, two foil packets of powder mix, two little skewers, one pink, one blue, and a little paper card that says in fancy cursive writing, _Just add olives!_

            Of course Wonwoo knows what it is. It’s a kit for Mingyu’s special martini, his favorite drink. A drink they’ve never had here. A drink that someone would only know Mingyu liked if they had visited him before on the island. _Just like old times, right?_

Wonwoo hardly notices Mingyu’s hand gripping his upper arm.

            He knows he’s going to have to call himself out of the office. But this time, he doesn’t know how long that will be. He doesn’t want to—he loves work, he loves his business and his job and work isn’t even work for him. He thought it would be easier with Mingyu here—that if something came up it wouldn’t be a big deal because Mingyu was with him in the city and he wouldn’t have to technically leave like he would have had to do if they were on the island. But that was something different entirely—something coming up with his job. He never could have expected something like _this._

This isn’t just a box with drinks in it. This isn’t just something coming up. This is something really serious happening. First the rose, then the dinner, and now this. What next? Wonwoo is starting to think that this will escalate. He’s not sure how much, and he has no idea what he’s supposed to do about it, but his original thought that if they just ignored it then it would go away seems like a far off dream now. He realizes that for him to think this would end easily was completely stupid. With what he did to Mingyu, Shin Wonho has no conscience. He is not the kind of person who will just decide to stop. Not until he gets what he wants, and that is Mingyu.

            Wonwoo has to do whatever he can to not allow that to happen.

            But what _can_ he do?

            “Wonwoo. Please make it stop.”

            Wonwoo shuts the box and pushes it away. He grabs Mingyu’s hand and starts walking, pulling him.

            Mingyu takes a shuddering breath behind him, following. “Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo brings Mingyu to the bed and ushers him up, sitting in front of him so their knees touch. Mingyu stares at him with watery eyes, but he isn’t crying. His cheeks are flushed and his chin trembles and his breathing is far from steady, but he isn’t crying. Wonwoo already thinks him ten times stronger simply for that. “Don’t think of it,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu sighs hard and squeezes his eyes shut, shoving the heels of his hands against them. “ _How_ , Wonwoo? How can I just forget? Why is he doing this? Can’t he just…leave us alone?”

            Wonwoo reaches out and places a palm on Mingyu’s knee. “I know you can’t forget, Mingyu. I know it. That’s why he’s doing this. He’s doing this to control you and to control us. You were right—he’s not happy. Not one bit, because he knows that you don’t care about him anymore.”

            Mingyu shakes his head fast. “I don’t. I never did.”

            Wonwoo squeezes his knee. “I know, baby. That’s why this is happening. He’s forcing you to think about him because he wants to have power over you and your life and your relationships. He’s…he’s trying to scare you.” Wonwoo already knows what Mingyu is going to say.

            And he does. Mingyu sniffs and says through his hands, “It’s working.”

            Wonwoo’s heart breaks for him. How many times has it broken? And how many times is he going to realize that there’s not much he can do? He doesn’t have the resources to protect Mingyu like Jihoon did, like the island does. “Mingyu, I’m sorry.” He hates that that’s all he can think to say. He hates that he’s powerless—that Wonho has _all_ the power.

            Mingyu says tightly, head still hung toward the bed, hands still over his face, “It’s okay.”

            But it’s not okay. Mingyu isn’t okay, so nothing is. And that scares Wonwoo too, in a way that he knows is incredibly selfish. He’s afraid of Mingyu running away like he did before. And where would Mingyu go? Wonwoo knows exactly where he would go—right back to where he feels safest.

            Wonwoo knows he has to ask. He doesn’t want to ask it because he’s scared of the answer, but for Mingyu’s sake, he must. “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu looks up at him. He managed to hold back tears the whole time. It hurts Wonwoo that Mingyu always has to force himself not to cry. What kind of days are those to live?

            Wonwoo sighs. “Mingyu, do you want to go back to the island?”

            Mingyu bites his lip, looking down and messing with the edge of his shorts. “Wonwoo…”

            “I understand if you do. I understand how you must be feeling with all this, and I know how much harder it must be here with how different this place is for you. I remember moving here and having total culture shock and feeling really alone in this huge city. And—”

            “But I don’t feel alone.”

            Wonwoo gazes into his eyes.

            “I have you,” Mingyu says. “I’m not alone.”

            Wonwoo pushes a stray piece of hair back from Mingyu’s forehead. “You do, baby. I’m here.”

            Mingyu takes Wonwoo’s hand from his knee and starts messing with Wonwoo’s fingers instead. “But you’re asking because of Wonho.”

            Wonwoo nods. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or persecuted here. I want you to feel safe and happy.” _I don’t know if I can give that to you. I don’t know if I can fix this mess we’re in._ “If that means going back to the island then that’s what you should do.”

            Mingyu visibly thinks, brows furrowing together. “But you wouldn’t come with me?”

            Wonwoo squeezes his hand. “I want to, Mingyu. I want to be where you are. But…I have my job here and it’s hard for me to work properly when I’m not here.”

            Mingyu nods, not meeting Wonwoo’s eyes. “I know. I’m sorry.”

            “No, don’t be sorry. If I could change it I would. But I just don’t know how it could work.”

            Mingyu nods again. Wonwoo rubs his thumb against the back of Mingyu’s hand, watching him as he thinks more. Mingyu finally says very quietly, “Are you also asking…because you’re not sure about our relationship?”

            Wonwoo blinks in surprise. Of course not. Besides his business, this is the surest Wonwoo has felt about anything in most of his life, certainly involving relationships. He likes Mingyu—really actually likes him—and he’s known that it could become more than that for a while now. Maybe, at least for him, it’s been becoming more this whole time. Mingyu means so much to him now, and like their friends on the island want, Wonwoo wants to do what he can to take care of Mingyu who’s been so hurt before. Wonwoo doesn’t want to give Mingyu up to anyone else and risk their hurting him again.

            “Mingyu, of course not.” He scoots closer to Mingyu on the bed. “You mean so much to me, Mingyu. And I…” He pauses and thinks. What is it that Mingyu needs to know? What is it that sets Wonwoo apart from all the other pseudo-relationships Mingyu has had on the island? He knows what it is. “I want you to know that this is more to me than sex, Mingyu. It always has been. I may have met you that way, but right away even before we were together for the first time it became something totally different for me. It was and still is about spending time with you and getting to know you and trying my hardest to make you laugh and smile. And…” He sighs. “Mingyu, I’m not them. I’m not the people that come there usually. And I’m not him. I am not Wonho. I’m still here, and I asked you to come here to stay with me for a while because I really like you a lot and care about you and I want more than just sex. You could never touch me and while it would be a little frustrating for the both of us—” Mingyu nods like he definitely agrees, and Wonwoo smiles. “I would be okay with it, as long as you were still with me. I want to take you places and sleep next to you and burn your breakfast because I was too busy looking at you and all of the stupid stuff that real couples do.” He takes Mingyu’s other hand to hold them both in his own. “If you would have me, Mingyu. If you would have me.”

            Mingyu stares at his hands in Wonwoo’s. “Do you love me, Wonwoo?”

            Oh god. Here it is. Has Wonwoo been expecting this? _Waiting_ for this? He tightens his grip on Mingyu’s hands. “Mingyu, I—”

            “Because I know it’s hardly been two months but I’ve been here with you for a while now and I think I’ve sort of loved you ever since we went to the theater together on the island and you kissed me and asked to hold my hand, since we went to the reef with Soonyoung, maybe even since that first dinner we had together when you were so sweet and nervous and only cared about making me happy and comfortable no matter what. And I’ve been hoping this whole time that maybe I didn’t actually love you because the only other time I’ve thought I loved someone it got royally fucked up so I hoped maybe it was just butterflies or maybe you were just like a really close friend to me but I always knew it was more than that and that was why I got so scared and ran away and sent you away but truly Wonwoo I think I just have to face the fact that I do love you hopelessly and now that I say it I don’t want to stop loving you because loving you is the best thing I’ve felt in _such_ a long time and I don’t know that I could go back from this if you tell me that you don’t love me because I might not—”

            “The first dinner? Really?” Wonwoo looks directly into Mingyu’s shining eyes.

            Mingyu bites down on his lip to shut himself up. “Yes. I know I was stupid and it was a mess but it was a beautiful mess. You’re a beautiful mess. I’m just a mess but you’re beautiful. I love the mess that is you, Wonwoo. Please tell me that you love me.”

            Wonwoo looks at him, then leans down and gently kisses both of Mingyu’s hands. They tremble under his lips.

            “Wonwoo? Please.”

            Wonwoo looks back up at him. “Ask me again.”

            Mingyu takes a deep shaky breath. “Do you love—”

            “Yes.”

            Mingyu lurches forward and hugs Wonwoo hard enough to make him fall backwards onto the bed, and wraps his entire body tight around Wonwoo’s. Wonwoo smiles over Mingyu’s shoulder and holds him gently. He knows that their problems aren’t close to solved, but maybe, just for now, they can forget about it. What matters right now is each other.

            “Say it again,” Mingyu says.

            “Ask me again.”

            “Do you love me?”

            “I love you.”

            “Are you in love with me, Jeon Wonwoo?”

            “I am madly in love with you, Kim Mingyu.”

            Mingyu makes a sound of emotion and hugs Wonwoo impossibly tighter. “Wonwoo.”

            “Mingyu. You’re squeezing the life out of me.”

            Mingyu loosens his grip and rolls so that they’re on their sides facing each other. He finally leans his head back and looks into Wonwoo’s face. They stare at each other for a long time before they both smile and press their foreheads against each other’s.

            “I’m staying,” Mingyu whispers.

            Wonwoo feels the weight of the question lift off of him. It’s nowhere near the weight that still rests on both of their shoulders, but it’s something. He runs his fingers gently along Mingyu’s jaw. “Only if you’re sure.”

            “I’m sure, Wonwoo. I’m not leaving you. I love you.”

            Mingyu really is trying, and now Wonwoo knows why. Mingyu loves him, and Wonwoo has fallen so hard for Mingyu he hardly knows what to do with himself. Mingyu is trying, and not running away like his instinct has told him for so long, because he _doesn’t want to run_. He wants to be with Wonwoo, enough to override his own worried brain and damaged psyche. Enough to leave himself here in near distance to the person who made him that way.

            Besides being too plain and too awkward and too gentle, Wonwoo doesn’t know what exactly he did, or what exactly it is about him that makes Mingyu love him, but he’s so thankful for it. He is so thankful for Mingyu.

            He says, “I love you, Mingyu. Do you still want to go out?”

            Mingyu sighs. “In a while.”

            “All right.”

            So they lay together for a while, simply looking at each other. And then Wonwoo says quietly, “You know, maybe this is the only paradise we need.”

            Mingyu smiles and closes his eyes. “This bed?”

            Wonwoo hums. “Each other. The paradise of you.”

            Mingyu leans back to look at him again, a wide-eyed expression on his face. Wonwoo can see his name form on Mingyu’s lips, though no sound comes out. Then Mingyu brings his hands to Wonwoo’s face and kisses him hard. Wonwoo puts his palm on Mingyu’s lower back and pulls, bringing their bodies together. Mingyu says against his lips, “Tell me again.”

            Wonwoo smiles and kisses him. “ _Je t’aime._ ”

            Mingyu gasps, then kisses him more. “Again.”

            “ _Wo ai ni_.”

            “Again.”

            “ _Ik hou van jou_.”

            “What was that?”

            “Dutch.”

            “Again.”

            “ _Nakupenda_.” He pauses. “Swahili.”

            “Again.”

            “ _Volim te_.”

            “Again.”

            “ _I love you_.”

            “Again…”


	8. September 24; Empire

It was another reset. Mingyu had his mood swings, and eventually came back to where he was. Mingyu has a beautiful resilience about him—one of the things Wonwoo truly loves. But he does wish it would stop being tested. He doesn’t know if something else will happen or if that was the end of it, though he does have a pretty good idea. Days will go by with no sign of Wonho, and they’ll get the chance to be happy together again. But Wonwoo knows there’s always a chance that they’re going to receive another of Wonho’s little gifts for Mingyu. He finds that a lot of the time, his mind is occupied by worrying over that, waiting for it to happen, and he knows how toxic it is both for him and for Mingyu, even if he doesn’t worry out loud—Mingyu can read Wonwoo just as well as Wonwoo can read him. But what’s more is Wonwoo’s hate for Wonho, because all that thinking and worrying is exactly what Wonho wants—he’s trying to make it so they’re not thinking about each other, but thinking about him instead. He’s trying to break them apart.

            But they love each other. Wonwoo will not let that happen.

            Which is why he’s already planned today in advance in hopes that he can get Mingyu’s mind off of everything else. Today he has a very special surprise for Mingyu.

            “I have an idea,” Wonwoo says, like he’s only just thought of it. He sips his coffee nonchalantly as he leans back against the headboard of their bed, legs tucked under the covers, sitting next to Mingyu who has his own creamy vanilla caramel coffee in his Gudetama mug.

            Mingyu looks over at him, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?”

            Wonwoo shrugs and says, “Maybe we can go to one of my company’s locations.”

            Mingyu’s eyes go wide over the rim of his mug, and Wonwoo thinks for a moment that he’ll do a spit take. Luckily he only chokes a little and says, “Yes! Finally! I’ve seen your office but I want to see what you _do_. What you make.” He leans in close to Wonwoo’s face. He smells sweet, like the caramel color of his skin, when he says again, “What is it?”

            Wonwoo smiles at him. “We’ve just built this location here last year. It’s the first one in New York. The one Dokyun said he visited, remember?”

            Mingyu nods. “Okay but what _is it_?”

            “I’m taking you today. Get dressed.”

            Mingyu puts his coffee down on the nightstand, throws the covers back, and jumps up out of bed. He runs to the walk in, shouting, “What is it!”

            “You’ll see.” He pulls the covers back and sits on the edge of the bed facing the closet, listening to Mingyu thinking out loud.

            “I imagine…electronics? Or—no. Something cool like that. Like Samsung. What else is there?” He comes hopping back out, one leg through his jeans and his hair mussed from his sweater. “What is it?”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “You look cute.”

            “ _Wonwoo_.”

            “Come give me a kiss and I’ll tell you.” He puts his arms out.

            Mingyu groans and rolls his eyes as far back as they can go. He shoves his other leg in his jeans, buttons them, and sulks over to Wonwoo.

            “Oh, is this a punishment?” Wonwoo asks.

            Mingyu leans into the edge of the bed between Wonwoo’s legs. “Just tell me.”

            Wonwoo puckers his lips and closes his eyes. Mingyu gives him the quickest possible of kisses. Wonwoo opens his eyes and frowns at him. “Thanks a lot, baby.”

            “Tell me.”

            “It’s…” He sighs and looks sideways. “A surprise.”

            Mingyu shrieks and shoves Wonwoo back onto the bed. “Tease!”

            Wonwoo laughs and covers his face as Mingyu hits him with a pillow. “Yah. I’m taking you aren’t I?”

            Mingyu huffs and puts the pillow back. “Yes. Is jeans okay?”

            Wonwoo sits up and admires Mingyu’s outfit. “Mhm. Jeans are fine. Just fix your hair.”

            Mingyu pouts out his lip and runs his fingers through his hair. “I should cut it. It’s too long on the top.”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “I love your hair.”

            “Yeah. Me too.” He sighs and drops his hands to his sides, patting his thighs. “We’ll see. Now _you_ get dressed so you can take me to the—” straight faced, he puts his arms up and does sarcastic jazz hands, “surprise.”

 

…

 

“Ready, baby?” Wonwoo says, keeping his hands over Mingyu’s eyes as they go through the sliding glass doors.

            Mingyu paws at Wonwoo’s hands. “Yes yes come on just let me see.”

            Wonwoo tisks. “Don’t be so impatient.”

            “I want to see all the cool computers you make!”

            Wonwoo doesn’t take his hands away. “Really, Mingyu. What makes you think it’s electronics?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “Because you’re a cool nerd.”

            Wonwoo snorts. “Thank you. But what else am I?”

            Mingyu grins. A game. “Okay. Um…you’re…rich.”

            Wonwoo laughs again. “I suppose. What else?”

            “Not stock then.” Mingyu hums. “Well, it’s not a winery. Or a brewery. You only drink rarely. I’ve never even seen you drink.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Very good. Guess again.”

            Mingyu huffs. “This is awkward, Wonwoo. We’re just standing here in your place of business.”

            “Don’t worry. I know the owner.”

            Mingyu pokes Wonwoo behind him. “Just tell me.”

            Wonwoo taps Mingyu’s cheekbone in return. “Do you think maybe I’m…stylish?”

            Mingyu flinches in surprise. “What? You sell _clothes_?”

            “No. Do you think I’m handsome?”

            “Plastic surgery. You’re secretly a doctor.”

            Wonwoo hums. “No, not quite…”

            “Show me!”

            Wonwoo laughs again. “All right. On three. One—”

            Mingyu pulls Wonwoo’s hands away from his face. He looks around with a big expectant grin and wide eyes, but it all drops away pretty soon. “Wonwoo…you’re kidding. _This_ is your empire?”

            Wonwoo nudges him. “Yah. This is why I didn’t tell anyone on the island. I didn’t want to be judged.”

            Mingyu looks sideways at him. “I’m not judging, I just…I’m surprised. But I do know that you like to wear makeup so I guess it makes sense.”

            He looks around the big, brightly lit store, taking in the sight of all the products in front of him. Makeup from all levels: foundations to concealers to powders to blushes to liners and shadows to lip tints and sticks and glosses. Skin care of all kinds: toners to sheet masks and peel masks and squeeze masks and packs to ampoules to serums to moisturizers to sunscreens to exfoliators to simple cleansers. The store has anything you could want to put on your face, and plenty for your hands and your body and your hair, too. And to Wonwoo’s credit, the store is full of people—mostly women, but some men too, picking through skin care like nothing is out of the ordinary. Mingyu supposes it isn’t. He knows makeup is a huge industry. He figures Wonwoo knows it too.

            He shakes his head. “Wow.”

            Wonwoo takes his hand. “Are you embarrassed by this? By makeup being my business?”

            Mingyu shakes his head fast. “No. Not at all.”

            Wonwoo smiles, a little relieved but not really surprised. He’s known for a while that Mingyu would be accepting of him no matter what it was. “Good. Because we’re getting you some today.”

            Mingyu’s eyes get wider. “Me? Why?”

            Wonwoo shrugs. “Why not? Step into my world.”

            “But…you don’t even wear _that_ much makeup.”

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow. “You’d be surprised how much goes on my face in a morning while you’re sleeping in. Have you seen the bathroom counter?”

            Mingyu has. It’s covered in bottles and containers and packages. He practically has the color order memorized by now. He really should have guessed this sooner. He sighs. “Yes, I have.”

            “Uh huh. Don’t you know how popular skin care and makeup is in Korea?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “I guess. Except for with you, I hadn’t been there in a long long time.”

            Wonwoo nods. That’s true. And Mingyu didn’t exactly need makeup on the island where he was outside and in the water ninety percent of his time. Not that he needs it now either. Still. “It’s all a process. Trust me, all right? Don’t worry. I’m starting you with skin care.”

            Mingyu nods reluctantly. “Okay.”

            “Mostly,” Wonwoo says, before tugging a protesting Mingyu by his hand through the store.

 

…

 

**September 25**

If the island sheltered Mingyu from most things, Wonwoo is learning this morning that makeup was definitely one of them. He could tell the moment he saw Mingyu when he met him that Mingyu took to a kind of French naturalness on the island—not really anything much aesthetically was done to his face or his body besides the muscles he has from being active all the time and a good haircut. After Wonwoo wondered briefly about who exactly cuts everyone’s hair on the island, he’d turned the thought away, woken Mingyu up with a struggle, and dragged him, whining and rubbing his tired eyes, into the bathroom. He sat Mingyu down on a stool in front of the big mirror and faced him, leaning back against the counter.

            “Good morning, Mingyu. Awake yet?” he said.

            Mingyu hummed, slumped forward. “Unfortunately.”

            Wonwoo tisked. “Have a little excitement. I’m excited I get to play around with you this morning.”

            Mingyu’s eyes were still half-closed when he made a tired smirk and wiggled his eyebrows.

            Wonwoo smiled and shook his head at him. And then he clapped his hands loud right in front of Mingyu’s face, and Mingyu startled into sitting up straight, eyes blinking wider. “Wake up,” Wonwoo said in his best drill sergeant voice. “Makeup is an intense, rigorous, two-hundred-step process. Name step one.”

            Mingyu made wide eyes over at the array of his products on the counter that Wonwoo had gotten for him yesterday (paying full price, he might add—Wonwoo is too good to even make use of his own hard-earned position as part owner of the company). He could identify the few most obvious things, like the lip products and—or was that the thing Wonwoo said was for cheeks sometimes? Mingyu made a confused face and said, “Um…what’s it called. Foundation?”

            Wonwoo smiled at him. “No. Good guess, though. I’ll give you a hint—skin care is vastly more important and a much longer process than makeup, and it always comes first.”

            “Oh.” Mingyu nodded like he knew what was happening. “Then…soap.”

            Wonwoo chuckled. “The fancy word is cleanser, but yes, very good. I chose a water based foam cleanser for you because it’ll be the most gentle on your skin,” he said, picking up the first tube in the lineup.

            It was like that the whole way through to where they are now—Mingyu making his best guess (he got one right, probably because it was the serum that he was absolutely amazed cost sixty-two American dollars yesterday— _“All that for a tiny glass bottle?”_ ) and then Wonwoo usually telling him what the actual next step was, and explaining why he uses it and what it does. And now they’re back out of the bathroom for a moment, lying on their backs next to each other in the middle of the bed.

            “No, they’re terrible,” Wonwoo says, trying not to move his mouth so his sheet mask doesn’t slip out of place.

            Mingyu clicks his tongue. “Well I think we’re pretty funny. You try telling a joke as good as mine and Soonyoung’s.”

            Wonwoo hums for a second, thinking. “Once I went to the doctor because I broke my arm in two places.”

            Mingyu blinks at the ceiling. “I can’t tell if you’re serious or if that’s actually the joke.”

            Wonwoo says, “He told me to stop going to those places.”

            Mingyu pauses, comprehending. And then he bursts into giggles and his hands shoot up to his face, pushing his mask around. “Ah—I can’t laugh! It’s slippery!”

            “It’s good practice for a straight face,” Wonwoo says, holding back a wide smile at Mingyu’s laughter.

            Mingyu snorts. “Then maybe you shouldn’t wear so many masks.”

            Wonwoo nudges him with his foot. “Thanks, baby.”

            Mingyu giggles again and grabs his hand, twining their fingers together. “That was a terrible joke.”

            “But it made you laugh, which is all I care about.”

            Mingyu squeezes his hand. “This thing may be a pain to keep on but it smells so good. What is it?”

            Wonwoo squeezes back. “Mine is lemon, yours is cucumber and lavender.”

            “What’s the difference?”

            “Mine is brightening and yours is moisturizing. I picked it because it’s the least likely to make your skin react. How does it feel?”

            Mingyu scrunches his nose. “Cold and wet. And good. Soft.”

            “Good. Your skin will be soft when you take it off, too. I usually do moisturizing four mornings a week.”

            “That’s why whenever I hold your face while you kiss me you feel like a baby butt.”

            Wonwoo laughs. “Uh…thank you?”

            Mingyu tilts his head. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever felt a baby’s butt. You feel like…mmm…” He thinks for a moment. “Remember the day we hiked up the mountain?”

            Wonwoo remembers it very well—the hike and the cave and Mingyu in the water with him. He nods. “I do.”

            “Do you remember seeing purple flowers on some of the lower lying plants?”

            Wonwoo thinks back, trying to remember a time on the hike when he wasn’t either trying not to hurt himself or hurt something else, or staring at Mingyu and thinking about all those things he was so unsure of back then. He may have seen a purple flower somewhere along the way. “I think so.”

            “They’re a species of orchid,” Mingyu says. “If you go up the mountain early in the morning just after the dew has started to evaporate off the flower petals and if you touch them really gently, they have a beautiful softness to them, almost like you’re touching a really fine piece of cloth—like something an empress would wear. They’re so delicate and so smooth and they feel so healthy and alive in your fingertips. That’s what you feel like to me.”

            Wonwoo can only stare up at the ceiling. Sometimes the things Mingyu says to him or about him truly put him at a loss for words. He squeezes Mingyu’s hand again, a little tighter. “That’s…that’s really sweet, Mingyu. I would kiss you if this thing wouldn’t fall off.”

            Mingyu smiles and scoots closer to him. “It’s okay. You can kiss me after we take them off and then I can feel you that way again.”

            Wonwoo smiles, not caring if the mask crinkles by his lips. “Can I bear another three minutes of waiting?”

            Mingyu hums and snaps his fingers. “Jihoon calls it delayed gratification. When he’s working in his office and I go up there to bug him because I want something he tells me, ‘Mingyu, you can have my attention now, or you can be patient and quiet and wait fifteen minutes until I’m done working and I’ll give you my attention _and_ a marshmallow.’”

            “It was a study, I think,” Wonwoo says, nodding.

            Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably. Sometimes it works and sometimes I just keep bugging him but I almost always get a marshmallow at some point anyway. Plus I think he really just keeps them up there for himself. He may not look or act like one, but he actually is a marshmallow in human form.”

            Wonwoo says, “With you, I believe it.”

            Mingyu hums fondly. “Yeah. He loves me even if he doesn’t tell me he does.”

            “He’s not said it to you?” Wonwoo asks.

            Mingyu shrugs again. “Nope. Probably because whenever I say it and we have one of those kinds of moments I always hug him too hard before he gets the chance to say it. Also he’s allergic to deep emotions.” He laughs. “But I know he does. And I know you do. It’s a little different though.”

            Wonwoo squeezes his hand again and sits up all of a sudden. “Come on. Let’s get these things off so I can kiss the person I and so many people love.”

            Mingyu grins wide and follows Wonwoo back into the bathroom.

            They peel their masks off and laugh at each other’s shiny faces, and they both pucker their lips and give each other the smallest of kisses so the leftover from their masks doesn’t squish between them. Mingyu giggles again, blushing a little up by his cheekbones, and Wonwoo pulls him to stand next to him facing the mirror.

            “This is called essence—the fancy word for residue,” Wonwoo says, motioning to his face. “Never let it go to waste. Just rub it gently until it’s all soaked into your skin and dry, okay?”

            Mingyu smacks his hands onto his cheeks and starts making circles. “Like this?”

            Wonwoo smiles at him. “Whatever way you want.”

            Mingyu smiles between his squished cheeks. As his essence begins to dry he frowns a little at himself in the mirror and says. “Wow…I’m kind of glowing.”

            “You always glow, Mingyu,” Wonwoo says. “Especially out in the sunlight. You’re radiant.”

            Mingyu meets his eyes in the mirror. “Wonwoo…”

            “Dry?”

            “Mhm.” He drops his hands. “Now what?”

            Wonwoo grins and wiggles his eyebrows like Mingyu did earlier. “Now it’s my turn to start working on you. Have a seat.”

            Mingyu sighs dramatically, sitting back down on his stool in front of the mirror. “Oh boy.”

            “At least the brunt of it is over,” Wonwoo says. “Well—one more thing. Never _ever_ forget moisturizer. Or, more moisturizer. Hyaluronic, sunscreen, or extra sunscreen?”

            Mingyu laughs softly as Wonwoo holds up the bottles for him to choose from. “Mmm…sunscreen?”

            “Good choice.” Wonwoo puts the other bottles down and squeezes some onto his fingers. “Though you might be immune to the sun now.” He goes to Mingyu and starts massaging the cream into his skin. “After so long on the island, I think you gain your energy from it.”

            Mingyu smiles, closing his eyes so Wonwoo can get his whole face, loving the feeling of Wonwoo’s fingers gentle on his cheeks. “I love the sun.”

            “It loves you. Not so much me.” He brushes his fingers under Mingyu’s eyes a few more times and then leans back to inspect him. “All right. Makeup time.” He snaps his fingers. “You know what? Turn around. Let’s make it a surprise.”

            Mingyu groans and swivels around on the stool. “I’m terrified.” He listens to Wonwoo picking up products behind him.

            Wonwoo tisks, coming back in front of him with a tube and a sponge. He squeezes out some of what Mingyu thinks must be the foundation he was talking about earlier, tells him to tilt his face up, and starts dabbing it onto his chin. “You’ve really never worn any at all before?”

            “Why would I?”

            Wonwoo opens his mouth to answer, then stops. Mingyu’s right—he really doesn’t need any. He’s naturally pretty perfect. “You’re right. Makeup would never help you anyway.”

            Mingyu punches his chest.

            Wonwoo grunts and puts his palm over the wound. “Ouch. I was kidding. You know I think you’re gorgeous.”

            “Ah…” Mingyu leans up and pecks Wonwoo’s lips again.

            Wonwoo just looks at him, flat faced, then goes back to doing his makeup. “You’re very fickle in your moods, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu does a cute smile and shrugs.

            Wonwoo sighs. “Right. Listen, I’m not turning you into a Disney princess, okay? More like a Disney prince. It’s different for everyone, but at least when I use it, makeup is for making your features better. Just a little bit of enhancement.” He dabs once more on Mingyu’s forehead and steps back, holding the sponge. “Okay?”

            Mingyu nods. His face feels funny, like there’s a thin film of water over it, but not as bad as the mask before. He scrunches his nose and says, “Feels weird.”

            “It won’t in thirty seconds. Next.” He disappears behind Mingyu again. “And no peeking.”

            Mingyu forces himself not to turn around. “I guess I can trust you. You do your makeup well. I think that’s what it was at the airport. Remember? When I said you looked different but in a good way? I never even noticed it was makeup.”

            Wonwoo comes back to him with a bunch of different things in his hands. “I remember. I didn’t think of it. I’m so used to wearing it—being on the island and _not_ wearing any was actually the weird part in that sense. Tilt up again.”

            Mingyu lifts his chin. “I like your bare face, too. Maybe better. Maybe because I met you that way.”

            Wonwoo smiles at him. “Thank you. I prefer my not bare face.”

            Mingyu frowns. “Why?”

            Wonwoo thinks for a moment. “It’s a confidence thing. I know I look fine bare, but I think I look good with a little makeup. Besides, you can’t talk. You’re—” He waves the puff in his hand at Mingyu. “All _that_.”

            Mingyu tries to keep frowning, but ends up giggling. “Ah…thank you. But so are you.”

            “Thank you. As long as you still like me both ways, I think it’ll work out.”

            “Yeah. I do. And I hope you like me with makeup since you forced me into this.”

            “Is it pure agony? Torture? Are you going to die at any given moment? Will you—”

            “Ugh _no_ ,” Mingyu says. “Jeez.”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “Then stop complaining and let me work my magic.”

            “Magic,” Mingyu says. After a moment, he asks, “Is that how you got into it? Did you do makeup on people? Cosmetology school?”

            Wonwoo laughs again. “No, although I think I would love it. Really my education and work has always been in business—marketing, microeconomics, management. I’m in this particular business with this company because…I don’t know. I just really like makeup. I’ve done it on myself since forever, and—”

            “That’s so strange,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow as he brings a pencil to one of Mingyu’s. “Why’s that?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “Cause you’re such a guy. Like, rich businessmen don’t _do_ makeup.”

            “Breaking stereotypes, one day at a time,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu smiles. “That’s good. You broke a pretty huge one already, didn’t you?”

            Wonwoo hums, turning Mingyu’s face briefly to inspect it. “You mean my sexuality.”

            Mingyu nods, and Wonwoo tells him not to move. “Sorry. Yes. That’s another thing about rich businessmen—they’re straight. Or at least they say they are.”

            Wonwoo nods. “Definitely. That was at least one thing that became a tiny bit easier when I moved to New York. Homosexuality is at least a little more accepted here. But honestly, it wasn’t a huge difference. No matter where you go, for people in my profession—men, I mean—it’s still a stereotype. A stigma, really. I just had to prove myself—and that was back in Korea. I’m a little ashamed to say that a lot of it came from that exact lying you mentioned.”

            Mingyu blinks at him. “You hid?”

            “I had to. Nobody cared if we were working with makeup or textiles or cars or weapons. It’s not good for the look of things to have gay upper employees, which is completely ridiculous because I and the majority of men and women in my position are completely competent but—you know. Gay, or in my case, bisexual.”

            Mingyu blinks again, leaning back a little away from Wonwoo’s hands. “You are?”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “Yeah. Not obvious?”

            Mingyu leans forward again, relaxing. “Guess not. Hm. So you’ve been with women?”

            Wonwoo goes back to Mingyu’s makeup. “Depends on what you mean by been with. Sex, yes. A legitimate relationship, no. I’ve had very few of those, and they’ve only been with men.”

            Mingyu nods, understanding. “Is this a legitimate relationship?”

            Wonwoo makes a thinking face. “Well, since I’m thoroughly in love with you so deeply that I couldn’t get myself out of it without some serious help, yeah, I think so.”

            Mingyu blushes warmly, even behind his makeup. “Oh. Me too.”

            “I know. I could tell from your little speech when you first told me you loved me.”

            Mingyu gets even redder. “Couldn’t help it.”

            “I’m glad.”

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too, baby. Open your mouth just a little.”

            Mingyu does. When Wonwoo is done putting whatever that is on his lips, he says, “So, is all that why you wouldn’t hold my hand in the lobby? Because they don’t accept it well?”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue, picking out a pencil from his hand. “Well, that was more because…”

            “Because you’re embarrassed of how you met me?”

            “Well—yes. But I don’t mean that because of you or your job or anything having to do with you. I mean that I was ashamed of myself, because it was obvious that I met you there, and it’s kind of sad that that’s the only way I could ever find someone. Even though that wasn’t the goal until, like, two hours after meeting you.”

            Mingyu laughs a little. “I understand.”

            “Close your eyes for me.” Mingyu does, and Wonwoo says, “But Mingyu, you should know that I don’t care that that’s your job. I mean, it doesn’t matter to me what kind of title that job has. I’m absolutely not embarrassed of you in any way. I mean, look at you. Getting more beautiful by the second.”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes and grins at the same time. Wonwoo scolds him for almost messing up his eyeliner. “Sorry.”

            Wonwoo just shakes his head, smiling. “And I would gladly hold your hand in the lobby now because I’m pretty sure that… _this_ is pretty sure. Us.”

            Mingyu smiles. “You say it first this time.”

            Wonwoo kisses the top of his head. “Love you.”

            “Too. Thank you for sharing all that with me.”

            “Of course. And you’re done, by the way.”

            Mingyu blinks open his eyes, looking up at Wonwoo. “Oh! Already?”

            “See,” Wonwoo says, booping Mingyu’s nose like he loves to do. “Not so terrible after all.”

            “Can I look?” He bounces his legs on the stool.

            “Ah, look who’s excited.” Mingyu sticks his tongue out at him. Wonwoo smiles and puts down all the products. He goes back around and takes Mingyu’s hands. “Let’s go to the full-length mirror in the bedroom. Close your eyes and keep them closed.”

            Mingyu huffs and squeezes his eyes shut. “Lead the way.”

            Wonwoo takes him by the hand into the bedroom and faces him toward the big mirror just outside of the walk-in. “All right. Take a look.”

            Mingyu opens his eyes, and they widen right away. “Whoa.” He brings a hand up and touches so lightly his lips, just under his eyes, his jaw, turning is face in the mirror. “It’s like you painted me—like I’m not even real. It’s so different. My eyes are so big.”

            “And I barely put anything on,” Wonwoo says. “The most really makeup part of it, besides your base which is just a BB cream and only on discoloration, was eyeliner. And brows. That’s all. And your lip balm was tinted a little. But that’s really it.”

            Mingyu leans forward close to the mirror and makes huge eyes, staring into them. “They’re so pretty.”

            “I agree. They’re sort of catlike, no?”

            “I never even noticed. You really did that with the makeup?”

            Wonwoo shrugs. “Hardly. They were already so pretty, so I just wanted to accentuate that catlike quality.”

            Mingyu leans back, amazed, then turns to Wonwoo. “Well…what do you think?”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “I think you’re gorgeous with and without makeup.”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes. “Really. What do you think.”

            “Really, I think you look amazing. I think you look…mmm…” He bites down on his lip.

            “Fuckable?” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo laughs. “Well, yes. But that’s kind of a perpetual thing for you. You just look really nice, Mingyu. I don’t know how to describe it. I have the feeling that I want to kiss you really badly.”

            Mingyu smiles softly and turns back to the mirror, pulling Wonwoo to stand next to him. “Have you ever watched yourself kiss someone?”

            Wonwoo feels his body immediately start to heat up. “No. I haven’t.”

            Mingyu smiles a little more. “It’s better if you record it and watch it back, because then you can close your eyes. But this will work too.” He takes Wonwoo’s shoulders and faces him, so they’re both sideways to the mirror. “Pay attention to the mirror, okay?”

            Wonwoo’s not quite sure how this is happening so suddenly or how exactly paying attention to the mirror will be possible with what he’s expecting. But is he complaining? “Um…all right.”

            Mingyu smiles at him and steps closer, sliding his hands down to Wonwoo’s arms, bringing his mouth near to Wonwoo’s. “You seem nervous,” he says quietly.

            Wonwoo swallows. “I’ve just never—”

            But of course, Mingyu just kisses him.

            Wonwoo immediately closes his eyes, then forces himself to open them again, looking towards the mirror. It’s strange at first, having to focus on both things at once. But Mingyu is eager as always, and it makes things easier for Wonwoo. Especially since Mingyu’s body is so close to his and his lips are soft and red with the product he put on him and he can see every movement Mingyu makes while feeling it at the same time and Mingyu’s eyes are closed so gently and he just keeps kissing him really deeply and… _whoa_. Wonwoo feels his heart rate picking up, and he brings his hands up and squeezes Mingyu’s waist, pulling him closer. In the mirror, he watches Mingyu smile against his lips, and he thinks of all the times he’s felt that before and now he _sees_ it, right there, Mingyu smiling because of him… Mingyu was right about this. If Wonwoo’s not careful, his body will start wanting more than just a kiss in front of the mirror. He does his best to hold it back, and he squeezes his eyes shut, focusing solely on Mingyu.

            Mingyu knows Wonwoo well enough—has done this sort of thing plenty enough times—to know when Wonwoo is fully into it. So he knows when Wonwoo closes his eyes, and he opens his. It’s certainly no lie—they look good together. Wonwoo is always handsome and he really did make Mingyu look pretty with the makeup. But Mingyu wants to see just a _little_ bit more. Fortunately, he knows Wonwoo well enough to do that, too. He watches Wonwoo in the mirror, and he starts by biting down on Wonwoo’s lower lip. Wonwoo makes a soft sound as his brows furrow together, and he pushes forward more, kissing Mingyu harder. Mingyu grins, and he brings his hands to Wonwoo’s hair, tugging just hard enough. Wonwoo groans this time, just a little louder, and Mingyu can feel his fingertips digging into his waist. Satisfied, Mingyu bites Wonwoo’s lip again and says, “Open your eyes, Wonwoo. Watch us.”

            Wonwoo manages to pry his eyes open again, watching Mingyu move down to his jaw. His belly is way too hot and Mingyu is way too sexy. He can see a pinkish tint on his own lips from Mingyu’s and knows that it’ll be on his skin too with Mingyu kissing him like that on his jaw and his neck and if Mingyu would just stop biting him and sucking little fading red marks into him then maybe he could calm down but of course Mingyu won’t stop. Wonwoo knows he should take a step back, but he can’t. Not with Mingyu looking so good this close to him, not with Mingyu still kissing him over and over. Not with…

            Not with Mingyu’s hand starting to make its way downward between them. Wonwoo bites hard on his lip where Mingyu did before, squeezes Mingyu’s waist tighter unconsciously. He really should stop but—

            He gasps and his chin tilts up when Mingyu palms him over his pants. And of course he can see Mingyu’s smile in the mirror—that wicked grin he’s become all too familiar with when Mingyu knows exactly what he’s doing to him. And of course his hips push forward into Mingyu’s touch without him asking them to, and Mingyu takes that as a cue to rub a little rougher and suck a little harder, and maybe a little more than just a kiss in front of the mirror isn’t a bad idea after all and—

            Wonwoo finally gets his hands up to Mingyu’s chest, pushing him gently back. “M-Mingyu—baby—”

            Mingyu leans away from his neck, licks his lips, and smiles sweetly at Wonwoo, his lip tint smudged at the edges. “Did you like it?” he asks, too coy.

            Wonwoo swallows hard. “If I think about it I’m going to have even more of an issue.”

            Mingyu tilts his head as if he’s very innocent. “I could fix it, you know. You did say I look fuckable. Mirrors are a really wonderful thing.”

            Wonwoo waves his hands out, trying to tell Mingyu politely to stop and trying to get the thought of doing that with Mingyu out of his head for now—lock it away for another time. Then he puts his hands on his hips and takes a breath, trying to calm himself down. “It’s okay. I’ll—I’ll be fine.”

            Mingyu smirks at him. “If you say so. I know you prefer nighttime anyway.”

            Wonwoo just nods, unsure what else to say.

            Mingyu goes back to observing himself in the mirror, turning his face and looking up at himself through his eyelashes. He starts messing with his hair and says, “You know what this makeup would look really good with? Blonde hair.”

            Wonwoo raises his eyebrows, the surprise of it helping him get over what just happened. “Really? You want to go blonde?”

            Mingyu looks down and shrugs. “I’ve thought about it. Blonde and a little shorter. Maybe bangs like you but like, different.”

            Wonwoo pushes the feeling between his legs away. He turns to Mingyu and cards his fingers through his hair that he’s always loved—a perfect two-block that’s shorter on the sides, longer on the top, and a healthy natural dark brown that’s essentially black—looking at it in the mirror. He’ll miss this hair, but he knows he’ll like whatever Mingyu chooses too, since it’s on him. He sighs, “Well, I can’t say it wouldn’t look good on you. And I am curious about bangs.”

            Mingyu grins. “Wait. Does that mean you’re saying yes?”

            Wonwoo smiles and boops his nose again. “You make your own decisions, Mingyu. You don’t have to ask me.”

            Mingyu frowns. “Ah. Don’t say that. So you don’t want me to then.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “I didn’t say that. I just think you should do whatever you want regardless of what I say. And I do think you’d look good blonde. It would balance your beautiful dark skin.” He brushes a thumb along Mingyu’s cheekbone.

            Mingyu leans into his familiar touch, closing his eyes. “Good. Because I really want to.”

            “Then do it, baby. I’ll take you to my hairdresser tomorrow.”

            Mingyu opens his eyes. He leans away from Wonwoo’s hand. “Your hairdresser? The one who gave you this?” He picks up strands of Wonwoo’s hair and lets them fall back down.

            Wonwoo gapes at him. “Yah. When were you going to tell me you don’t like my hair?”

            Mingyu giggles. “I do like it. I just don’t want it on me. It’s good for you since you’re all business like and manly and stuff. It works for your sharp features.”

            Wonwoo smiles a little. “Ah…it does?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought that was something you might say.”

            Wonwoo rolls his eyes and turns back to the mirror, looking at Mingyu’s hair. “Don’t worry. Hwasa knows exactly what she’s doing. Don’t judge her by the fact that she does my hair. I like her because she’s cool and she’s a blessed Korean in this American infested area of the city. Besides, her hair is the best shade of blue so she knows a thing or two about coloring.”

            Mingyu raises his eyebrows. “Really? Well, okay then. Did you say tomorrow?”

            Wonwoo smiles at him in the mirror. He thinks about going back out, and about Wonho. He thinks about how happy they are right now, and about how nice it is to not be worrying about all of that, to have their minds off of it. Will going out tomorrow bring them back to where they are every time Wonho does something? Was yesterday’s quick outing and the lack of contact from Wonho just a fluke? And is it even avoidable anyway? They can’t just stay inside forever. They have to live their lives despite him terrorizing them.

            Wonwoo pushes the thoughts away because all he wants is to see that beautiful smile on Mingyu’s face and those big, excited, childlike eyes. “Yes I did.”

            Mingyu grins and jumps up, spinning around. “New hair!”


	9. September 26; I Dare You

Mingyu kicks his heels on the lift bar of his chair, smiling cutely while Hwasa finishes blowing his new hair dry. He flaps his hand out from under his cape and gives a thumbs up at Wonwoo. Wonwoo gives one back, doing his funny no-teeth smile. Wonwoo hopes that Mingyu likes it—Mingyu doesn’t know what it looks like since Wonwoo said he should stay turned around and be surprised by his all new hair at the end. He figures the surprise will be a pretty big one.

            “Doing great!” he shouts over the dryer.

            Mingyu closes his eyes and gives a funny no-teeth smile back.

            Finally Hwasa is done, and she comes around to piece at Mingyu’s bangs for a moment. “All right,” she says. “All done. That was probably the longest single color I’ve ever done.”

            “Really?” Mingyu says. “Is blonde hard?”

            “Must be,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu looks up at him again with big hopeful eyes. “Does it look good?”

            Wonwoo smiles and nods as Hwasa goes to stand next to him, leaning back as she observes Mingyu. “You look amazing, baby. Sometimes being rich comes in handy, huh?”

            Mingyu tilts his head. “What?”

            Wonwoo glances at Hwasa, then takes the back of Mingyu’s chair and turns him around to face the mirror.

            Mingyu’s mouth immediately drops open, and his feet stop their kicking. “ _Ohmygod_. Wonwoo, what did you _do_?”

            His hair is fluorescent orange, practically vivid enough to hurt his eyes in the bright lighting. He wants to shriek, but he knows they’re in public. He leans closer to the mirror and gently touches his shorter bangs, then pulls his fingertips away as if they were seared. “Wonwoo!” He whines and wiggles in the chair. “What’s wrong with you!”

            Hwasa laughs. “You’re right. His reaction is funny.”

            Wonwoo grins. “Ah, it’s just a prank.” He leans down over Mingyu, eyeing his hair in the mirror. “It’ll wash out. I think.”

            Mingyu glares at him. “It _better_ wash out.”

            Hwasa laughs again and goes quickly to a shelf of products, coming back with two bottles. She hands them to Mingyu, who takes them with an incredibly obvious pout on his face. “It’s not permanent, so it’s going to fade quickly. Give it a week or two—”

            “A week!” Mingyu’s eyes get wider.

            Wonwoo pokes him. “Hush.”

            “Give it a week and it’ll fade. Then use these two on it. The first one will help lift the color—follow the instructions—and the second is a purple toner that’ll make your blonde a lot less yellow. Come back if there’s anything you need and it’ll be on me. Anything for my favorite customer.”

            Wonwoo smiles at her, loving that the plan went so smoothly without Mingyu noticing, touching Mingyu’s hair.

            Mingyu stares down at the bottles in his hands. He sighs. “You’re the worst, Wonwoo. All I asked for was a cut and blonde hair and you went and did this.”

            Wonwoo sighs contentedly and pushes his fingers through Mingyu’s arc-sodium hair, still surprisingly soft. “But it does look good with the makeup, yeah?

            Mingyu just hums like he doesn’t want to admit that.

            “And the cut is what you wanted?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “Yeah. If we style it a little different I think.”

            “Exactly. Besides, I happen to think you look good no matter what color your hair is. Even if you’re sort of, mmm… a Cheeto.”

            “ _Wonwoo!_ ”

            Wonwoo smiles and kisses his head. “Kidding.”

            Mingyu waves him away. “Ah. We’ll talk when we get home.” He looks up at Hwasa. “Don’t worry. I don’t blame you. I can imagine how much he gave you to do this.”

            Hwasa shrugs like she has no guilt about taking Wonwoo’s money.

            Mingyu sighs. “All right. Fine. Let’s just go home.”

            Wonwoo puts his palms on Mingyu’s cheeks. “But we’re going out to eat, baby.”

            Mingyu begins to protest, then sees there’s no use. Negotiation is a better tactic. Or a threat. He narrows his eyes above his squished cheeks at Wonwoo in the mirror. “I’ll deprive you.”

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow as Hwasa puts her hands up and walks away, giving Wonwoo a nod of thanks. “Thanks, Hwasa,” Wonwoo says. He looks back at Mingyu. “Will you now?”

            Mingyu nods. “Mhm. How about until this dye washes out.”

            Wonwoo smirks. “Recall that I went over seven months deprived.”

            Mingyu smirks back. “Not deprived of me.”

            Wonwoo laughs. “Oh, well you’re very confident. But you won’t last a day.”

            “And what about _you_? What if I decide to walk around the apartment naked for a while?”

            Wonwoo opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it. He’s not exactly sure what he would do. He licks his lips and says, “Isn’t that cheating?”

            Mingyu smiles, satisfied. “No cheating in this game, _baby_. Just you wait. Let’s go out to eat. I dare you.”

            Wonwoo presses his lips together, looking at Mingyu’s smug face in the mirror. He feels like he _really_ wants this challenge. He takes a deep breath and says, “All right. Fine. I accept your dare.”

 

…

 

Mingyu didn’t lie—he really has been taunting Wonwoo ever since then.

            They went to a restaurant after leaving the hairdresser, and Mingyu became very reminiscent of the Mingyu from Wonwoo’s first night on the island—teasing and sexual under the skin and doing that “mysterious thing” again. Every move he made seemed to draw Wonwoo’s attention to his features—his eyes or his lips or his hands. And Wonwoo was sure this time that Mingyu’s foot touching his under the table was no accident. When they left to go home, Mingyu refused to hold Wonwoo’s hand, but when they got in their cab Wonwoo didn’t miss the obvious brushes of Mingyu’s fingers on his thigh, the way Mingyu would roll his neck as if he were fatigued simply to force Wonwoo to look at his jawline and the way his lips parted in a quiet sigh. Mingyu told Wonwoo once they’d closed the apartment door that he’d be getting a shower, and asked Wonwoo if he was sure he didn’t want to come in with him. And when he was done, he made a point of leaving the door open a few inches while he messed with his hair and got dressed so that, were Wonwoo to walk by, which he did, he could see pieces of Mingyu’s body in the steamy room.

            But maybe nothing _made_ Wonwoo walk by that door. Maybe nothing _made_ him notice Mingyu’s jawline or Mingyu’s lips. Maybe it’s just himself, slowly failing to win at this game he accepted to play.

            And of course, now that Wonwoo is standing at the stove and starting to make dinner, Mingyu makes the most ridiculous moaning sound when he wakes up from his nap in the bedroom, stretching.

            Wonwoo shakes his head at him. “Good night, Mingyu. How was your nap?” he calls over to him.

            He hears Mingyu make a big sigh and flop back onto the bed. “Amazing. Wish you had been there to take me—I mean, take it with me.”

            Wow. Mingyu really is shameless if it’s about winning this. But why does part of it actually work on Wonwoo? “Come help me with dinner,” he calls.

            Mingyu whines, but Wonwoo hears him slide off the bed. Mingyu pads into the kitchen, pushing his radioactive bangs sideways, eyeliner smudged under his eyes in an admittedly alluring way, wearing a slightly see-through white shirt and a pair of thin grey sweatpants that leave very little to the imagination. Where did he even get those? Why do they go with the hair so well? Why do Mingyu’s lips always get so puffy like that when he wakes up?

            Wonwoo is about to say that he doesn’t remember Mingyu unpacking those pants, but then he realizes that that’s exactly what Mingyu wants. So Wonwoo meets Mingyu’s eyes, gives him a look like he hasn’t noticed a thing, and says, “Do you want to help me out now?”

            Mingyu smiles, but like this whole day it has that hint of…sweet enmity. Like Mingyu knows they’re both pushing each other and eventually someone is going to break and he intends with everything he has for it not to be him. His voice betrays that, too, when he says, “Sure, Wonwoo. What can I do for you?”

            Wonwoo clenches his jaw only briefly—small tactic at controlling himself. Why does the challenge hanging over his head make everything so much more intense? Mingyu’s teasing him, sure, but why is it suddenly so difficult to resist? “You can go ahead and get the saucepan out from under the counter.”

            “Sure,” Mingyu says again. And when he smirks a little more, Wonwoo wonders why exactly he thought making Mingyu bend over would be such a good idea. Maybe his brain did it on purpose, just to fuck with him.

            He does actually try not to watch when Mingyu bends down in those grey sweatpants and when his shirt slips up an inch off his lower back and his tricep flexes when he picks up the pan. Jesus.

            Mingyu hands the pan over and closes the cabinet door gently. “Here.”

            “Thank you,” Wonwoo says. His voice didn’t shake, right? Maybe not, but when he fills the pan with water and sets it to boil and turns back to see Mingyu leaning back against the counter on his hands and now _all_ of his arms are flexing like that, he’s pretty sure his voice does shake when he says, “Uh…I’ve got the oven heating up if we want to start…something.”

            Mingyu tilts his head. And then he pushes off from the counter hips first, and his pants definitely don’t show _that_ before he stands and says, “I can tell. Isn’t it hot in here?”

            A cheesy line, Wonwoo thinks, but it does what it’s supposed to. He rubs his neck, looking sideways. “I can turn the air up.”

            Mingyu smiles again. He says a simple, “No need,” and then pulls off his shirt, messing up his hair, laying it on the bar counter.

            So Mingyu will be making good on his threat, it seems. Wonwoo stares and Mingyu knows it, and then Wonwoo turns around and makes like he’s going to get something from the cabinets over his head even though he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He places his hands on the counter and swallows.

            “What’s wrong?” Mingyu asks coyly.

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “Nothing. Just figuring out what to make.”

            Mingyu chuckles. Wonwoo tries not to hear it. “I said I’ll help. Maybe if you look at me we can talk about what we want. What do you want, Wonwoo?”

            Mingyu’s voice is getting closer to him. Wonwoo can’t figure out what to say. Is he really this weak for Mingyu? Is it because it’s been a few days since they’ve done anything besides kiss once in a while and that mess in front of the mirror yesterday? _Why is Mingyu so good at this?_

Wonwoo just shakes his head again, and by that point he can feel Mingyu very close behind him.

            “Come on, Wonwoo,” Mingyu says low by his ear. “Are you really going to drag this out any longer?”

            Wonwoo shudders and stays facing the counter, afraid to look over his shoulder. “Mingyu…you really are cheating.”

            Wonwoo can feel the wicked grin. “No such thing. Are you feeling deprived yet?” His hand slips around Wonwoo’s waist. Wonwoo knows what’s coming. Mingyu’s done it before, hasn’t he? “I can help you. I promise you’ll enjoy it. Is that what you want, Wonwoo? Do you want me?”

            Mingyu’s hand finally touches him, and Wonwoo feels it for the brief moment before he turns, grabs Mingyu’s hips, spins them around so Mingyu’s back is against the counter edge, and takes the back of Mingyu’s neck to pull him down close enough that their lips nearly touch. He pauses, looking into Mingyu’s for some reason surprised eyes, and then he leans his head sideways and whispers in Mingyu’s ear, “I lose.”

            Mingyu is about to say Wonwoo’s name before Wonwoo turns him around again. Mingyu steadies himself facing the counter and watches Wonwoo reach over and switch off the stove and the oven. He still doesn’t get a word out before Wonwoo comes back behind him and tugs his pants down off his hips.

            Wonwoo tisks and lets Mingyu’s pants fall to the floor, finding that Mingyu is without underwear once again. Not that he didn’t expect it. “You keep doing this, baby,” he says, kicking Mingyu’s pants away.

            Mingyu looks innocently over his shoulder. “Should I stop?”

            Wonwoo slides his hand up Mingyu’s side, down his back, over his ass, giving it the slightest of squeezes, and back up again. “Absolutely not.”

            Mingyu smiles and arches his back into Wonwoo’s touch. He asks again, “Do you want me, Wonwoo?”

            After all that teasing and all those coy looks with those wicked glints in Mingyu’s eyes, all those fleeting touches and rejections of more… _yes._ Of course yes. “Mingyu, I want you desperately.”

            Mingyu hums like he knew that already. “Good. Then we’re missing something.”

            Right. Of course. Wonwoo gives Mingyu’s hip a quick squeeze and says, “Don’t even think about leaving.”

            Mingyu gazes over at him, and maybe those wicked glints aren’t gone just yet. “You should hurry.”

            Wonwoo nods quickly. “Right. Okay.” He runs off into the bedroom.

            The lube is where it always is—in the drawer of his bedside table. He takes a glance at the bed and sees the covers on Mingyu’s side thrown back in the somehow perfect triangle they always make when Mingyu gets up. His heart is full for a second before it remembers how much it’s racing and Wonwoo remembers that Mingyu is standing in the kitchen waiting for him and if he doesn’t hurry up Mingyu might be dressed and uninterested—or at least, interested in playing more instead—by the time he gets back.

            He grabs the bottle, shoves the drawer closed, and runs back into the kitchen, and—

            He freezes in the doorway. Mingyu is still there, but now his left arm is up above his head, hand supporting him on the cabinet, and his right arm is wrapped behind his back, first finger of his hand sunken inside himself. Wonwoo swallows hard at the sight before saying, “Baby. You—”

            “I didn’t leave,” Mingyu breathes out before gasping and biting down on his lip, tilting his chin up.

            Wonwoo finally gets his legs to move. He comes up behind Mingyu, gently taking Mingyu’s busy wrist. He pulls it away as Mingyu whines softly. “Oh, Mingyu…” He brings Mingyu’s arm up to the cabinet with his other hand. “Your definition of cheating is so different from mine.”

            “But I did as you said,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo smiles and slicks his fingers, figuring Mingyu probably just used spit. “I bet you think you’re very clever, baby.”

            Mingyu gives him a little smirk over his shoulder. “You can’t deny that I’m—” He gasps loudly and the muscles in his shoulders flex and he grips onto the cabinet above him and allows all three of Wonwoo’s fingers into him at once.

            Wonwoo rubs Mingyu’s back gently with his free hand. “I can’t deny that you looked really good, if that’s what you were going to say.”

            Mingyu whines again as Wonwoo curls his fingers. “Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo kisses the back of Mingyu’s neck. His hair smells chemically sweet with dye and musty with sweat. For some reason it’s intoxicating to Wonwoo. He runs his nails down Mingyu’s spine, feeling his shudder under his fingertips, and pushes his fingers a few more times.

            “Wonwoo. More…”

            Wonwoo smiles against Mingyu’s skin and kisses him quickly, pulling his fingers away. He steps back and removes his clothes, and he notices Mingyu watching him over his shoulder, glancing down between his legs, and he smiles at him.

            Mingyu blushes and looks forward, shifting his arms. “Are you staring?”

            “I think we’re both staring.”

            Mingyu laughs a little. “Yeah. You’re hot.”

            Wonwoo grins and gets behind Mingyu again, feeling his golden skin in his clean palm. He kisses under Mingyu’s ear and says, “You think so?”

            Mingyu nods. “Mhm. Very.” He pushes his ass back against Wonwoo’s erection.

            Wonwoo holds back a sound at the feeling and grips Mingyu’s hip with his right hand. Mingyu obediently spreads his legs a little wider. Wonwoo holds his hip, aligns himself, and says, “You’re stunning, Mingyu.” He pushes slowly in, running his left hand from Mingyu’s lower back up to his shoulder and along his arm, holding Mingyu’s hand against the cabinet above his head.

            Mingyu sighs long and light, closing his eyes and tilting his head up. He starts to sigh Wonwoo’s name but it ends up coming out louder than he thought. “Won—Wonwoo!”

            Wonwoo snaps his hips forward, drawing his name and a harsh gasp from Mingyu’s lungs. He wraps his fingers in Mingyu’s and holds his hip tightly, his grip slightly slick, repeating spaced out but quick, deep thrusts that have Mingyu’s body leaning closer against the counter, hipbones digging into the marble.

            Mingyu can’t really help the sounds coming from his throat. Wonwoo feels too good. “Please, Wonwoo. Please more. Go faster, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo holds Mingyu’s hand tight in his own. “Do you like it, Mingyu?” He pushes hard again, but no faster.

            Mingyu whines loudly at the mixture of the pleasure inside him and the pain of the counter digging into his hips. “ _Please_.”

            “Does that mean it’s game over?”

            Mingyu looks at him over his shoulder. “Just—just shut up. I need—” He cuts off, yelping as Wonwoo pushes impossibly harder. “I need you to go faster, Wonwoo. I need more.”

            Wonwoo smiles. “Do you? Or do you just want more?”

            “Wonwoo _please_!”

            And then Wonwoo is gone from him, pulling out entirely. Mingyu is about to start shouting but then Wonwoo grabs him and turns him around, pushing him. Mingyu stumbles backwards until his legs hit the edge of the kitchen table and Wonwoo puts a vice grip on his waist and Mingyu does what Wonwoo doesn’t ask and gets himself up to sitting on the table, spreading his legs open. Wonwoo wraps one arm around Mingyu’s waist and pulls him close in one quick motion, grabbing his thigh in the other hand a lifting it to his hips.

            “Tilt forward, baby.”

            Mingyu blinks at him and adjusts his hips. He sits there, leaning back on his hands, wide eyed, staring at Wonwoo as Wonwoo leans darkly over him. “Wonwoo?”

            Wonwoo makes a point not to answer. By now he knows what angle has Mingyu’s mouth falling open in that beautiful O he loves. So Wonwoo releases Mingyu’s thigh, proud to see that Mingyu leaves it where he put it—and drags one of the chairs over. He puts his foot up on one of the bars between the legs, lifting and turning his hips just so, keeping Mingyu’s thigh lifted around him, hooked over his own. He smiles at Mingyu and pushes back in deep all at once, setting a faster pace for him.

            Mingyu gasps again and throws his head back at the shock of pleasure that rips through him. “ _Wonwoo_.”

            Wonwoo holds his thigh again simply to have it in his hand and lets the motions take over. “It’s okay, baby. I give up. You win,” he breathes. “You win.”

            Mingyu gives a few loud whines. He catches his breath and says, eyes closed and chin up, smug smile on his blushed face, “I knew you wouldn’t be able to— _oh_.” He wraps his legs around Wonwoo’s hips and pulls himself closer so Wonwoo can still get to him, rocking the table.

            “Oh? Does that mean you want more?” Wonwoo asks.

            Mingyu opens his eyes and glares at him. “I already won, Wonwoo. The game is over.”

            Wonwoo smiles and watches Mingyu struggle to maintain his glare, eyes watering as Wonwoo still maintains his pace and precision. “I think we both lost,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu hesitates, then pushes forward and wraps his arms around Wonwoo’s neck, pulling himself up against Wonwoo’s body, keeping his hips tilted right and kissing Wonwoo heavily. “You’re right,” he manages between kisses. “You’re always right.”

            “If I said I was wrong, would I then truly be wrong?”

            Mingyu makes a weird face at him, then just kisses him again. “Just fuck me, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo holds back a grin. This night has gone pretty much as expected and then pretty much as planned since he accepted Mingyu’s dare. But now he has another idea. He kisses Mingyu for a while, swallowing Mingyu’s whines, and then brings his thrusts to a slow roll. He hums and says, “But what if I just…” He stills inside Mingyu. “Stopped?”

            Mingyu looks straight into his eyes. “Why what. What are you doing.”

            Wonwoo smiles a little and pecks his nose. “You started it.”

            Mingyu’s face flattens. “Don’t tease me, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo pulls out of Mingyu before Mingyu gets the chance to prevent him from doing it.

            Mingyu looks down like he can’t believe it, sitting on the edge of the table. “Wonwoo!”

            “Believe it or not, I’ve been deprived in this way, too. Maybe you haven’t since, you know, you’re you. Do you like it?”

            Mingyu traps Wonwoo in with his legs, hooking his ankles around him when Wonwoo tries to walk away. “Don’t you _dare_ leave. No I don’t like it.”

            Wonwoo trails his fingers along Mingyu’s thighs. “Mmm…I don’t like that you teased me earlier.”

            Mingyu clicks his tongue. “That’s bullshit.”

            Wonwoo raises his eyebrows in mild surprise. “Yah. Why would you say that?”

            Mingyu rolls his eyes. “Because I know you liked it. You like watching me.”

            Wonwoo concedes and nods, painting invisible lines on Mingyu’s inner thighs with his fingertips. “I suppose I did.” He looks between Mingyu’s legs, then up to his eyes again. “You’re very hard, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu reddens. “Obviously. Since you _were_ just fucking me. What do you want? What should I do?”

            Wonwoo smiles and kisses him very quickly. Mingyu is smarter than he lets on. “There’s one very specific thing.”

            Mingyu finally stops being so stubborn. He whines and wiggles on the table. “What? What is it? You keep making me figure things out and I’m bad at it.” He pouts.

            Wonwoo grins at him. “You can do it.”

            Mingyu huffs and kicks his heels on the backs of Wonwoo’s legs. “Mmm… I don’t know! Is there something I was supposed to do for you?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head.

            Mingyu sighs. “Do you want me to beg you?”

            Wonwoo considers it for a moment, then shakes his head again. “No.”

            Mingyu whines again. Wonwoo runs his palms up and down Mingyu’s sides, smiling fondly. “I don’t know, Wonwoo! I don’t like this game! I want you in me.”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “I’ll give you a hint. Why am I teasing you?”

            Mingyu thinks. “Because I teased you?”

            “Yes. And why did you tease me?”

            Mingyu frowns. “Because you made me go out in public with this horrible—” He cuts off. Understanding dawns on his face. “Oh my god. You would have me _lie to you_?”

            Wonwoo’s smile both widens and softens. “Just this once, baby.”

            Mingyu frowns again. “I won’t say it.”

            Wonwoo slides his hand up Mingyu’s thigh and then his fingertips up Mingyu’s cock. Mingyu bites down on his lip and whimpers. Wonwoo tilts his head, watching him. “No?”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “I won’t. I won’t say it.”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue and shrugs. “That’s too bad. I guess I’ll have to finish myself.”

            “I-I guess you will.”

            Wonwoo waits for Mingyu to let his legs down. He doesn’t. Wonwoo shrugs again, bringing his hand in. “If that’s what you want.”

            He takes himself, and he’s immediately very sensitive, gasping slightly. He would definitely rather be in Mingyu, and he knows Mingyu would rather he was too. But Mingyu has been whiny and stubborn all day. It’s time Wonwoo had a little fun with him.

            He moves his hand the same way Mingyu does for him—the same way he’s done since his first time ever being in a hammock on an island—and he closes his eyes and lets all feeling show on his face. He hears Mingyu whine quietly again, feels him shift. When he catches Mingyu trying to touch himself, he gently pushes his hand away.

            “No, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu sounds about to have a tantrum. “Wonwoo!”

            “What, baby?”

            “Either let me or fuck me!”

            Wonwoo shakes his head, sighing heavily as he circles his thumb. “No. I know you like watching, but no.”

            Mingyu sucks in his lower lip, a hard thinking look on his face, very conflicted. Pride or pleasure? Wonwoo knows which one he’ll choose.

            Mingyu whines one more time and then huffs his breath out. “Fine! Fine. I love my hair. I love it so much. Thank you Wonwoo I really love it so much and I love you so much for doing this for me. I love it. It’s so great. Just what I’ve always wanted. Thank you for turning me into a cheese puff Wonwoo it’s—”

            Wonwoo bursts into laughter. He stops touching himself and curls forward so his head is resting on Mingyu’s chest as he giggles.

            Mingyu looks down at him, unamused. “There, I said it. Happy?”

            Wonwoo contains himself and gazes up at Mingyu. “Very.”

            Mingyu has no time to roll his eyes before Wonwoo is wrapping his arms around him and pulling him off the table. Mingyu holds Wonwoo’s shoulders as Wonwoo hooks his hands under Mingyu and starts for the bedroom.

            “Finally,” Mingyu says.

            “Ah, no pouting. It wasn’t too hard to say, was it?”

            Mingyu just tells him to shut up and kisses him hard.

            But Wonwoo says, “Christ, you’re heavy. My arms are going to fall off. I’m surprised I can hold you at all, actually. Maybe you should walk.”

            Mingyu shakes his head before another kiss.

            Wonwoo smiles. “Have I really never picked you up before?”

            Mingyu smirks, holding Wonwoo’s face. “Only in the water.”

            “Ah.” Wonwoo nods, hiking him up and kissing him quickly. “That was a good day. It makes me crave mangoes. You know how much cheaper they are here compared to Seoul?”

            “They’re free on the island. Please stop talking.”

            When they reach their room, Wonwoo drops Mingyu’s down on the bed. Mingyu crawls back and spreads his legs wide. “Inside me.”

            Wonwoo climbs up to him. He settles on his knees between Mingyu’s legs and says, “As you wish.”

            He grabs Mingyu’s thighs and pulls him up to his waist, lifting Mingyu’s hips off the bed and spreading Mingyu’s legs around himself. He pushes back in, and Mingyu’s back bends, and soon he lets out a rough moan. “ _Ahh._ Wonwoo. Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo figured this angle would be good, too. His favorite part is the perfect down view he has on Mingyu’s gorgeous body—always moving, unable to keep still—and his beautiful face. He holds tight to Mingyu’s thighs and pulls Mingyu toward him as he pushes hard, going as deep as he can.

            Mingyu writhes on the bed, arms splayed out to the sides, muscles tensing, chest heaving with his moans. “W-Wonwoo, more. Touch me. Please touch me.”

            Wonwoo pushes Mingyu’s legs forward, up by his chest, and then wraps his hand around Mingyu, leans down, and latches to his neck. Mingyu makes all of what are now Wonwoo’s favorite sounds and breathes heavily, vising his legs around Wonwoo, heavy and hot in Wonwoo’s grip. Mingyu’s hands slide over Wonwoo’s back and across his spine and up into his hair, gripping too hard like always. Wonwoo just keeps going.

            Mingyu’s body trembles badly. “Wonwoo, please. Wonwoo, I—I’m—” He breaks off into a series of loud moans as he releases. His left hand stays hooked in Wonwoo’s hair while his right lands hard on the sheets and fists them tightly.

            The calling of Wonwoo’s name from Mingyu’s lips has Wonwoo coming hard. He muffles his low moans, burying his face in Mingyu’s neck, and he rolls his hips deep, making sure both of them feel every last bit that they can.

            When Mingyu’s noises die down into long sighs and breaths of Wonwoo's name, Wonwoo kisses him a few times on his shoulder and lifts up to look at him. Mingyu just says, blinking at the ceiling, “Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo swallows to try and wet his throat. He kisses Mingyu’s forehead and says, “We’ll get it fixed tomorrow, okay?”

            Mingyu sighs hard and smiles. “Thank you.” He kisses Wonwoo again before saying, “Jesus, Wonwoo. That…I think I like that side of you.”

            “What side?”

            Mingyu giggles. “You know, the playful side.”

            “Ah. The teasing?”

            Mingyu frowns. “No. Even though I knew you wouldn’t resist me.”

            Wonwoo thinks about saying it was the other way around, but he knows that Mingyu did like it, no matter what he says for his pride. “You’re right. I couldn’t.”

            Mingyu nods like that’s obvious. “I mean the slightly rougher side.”

            Wonwoo laughs. “Did you want me to be rough?”

            Mingyu shrugs. “Not necessarily. I think I just liked when you treat me like you’re the boss. Like, a nice boss who gives good raises.” Light comes into his eyes and they widen as he stares at Wonwoo. “Hey. We should try that some time.”

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow. “Giving you a raise?”

            “CEO. How about that? You can fuck me in your office.” He gasps dramatically. “You can bend me over your super expensive desk!”

            Wonwoo shakes his head, smiling halfway. “I thought they told you I wasn’t like that.”

            Mingyu giggles. “They did. I’m just kidding.”

            Wonwoo pauses for a moment. “You do know that I was only playing, right? And that if you ever really asked something like that of me—to go or to stay, or to do or not do something—I would listen. Always. Right?” He says it because Wonho didn’t listen to Mingyu, and he hurt him in that way. Wonwoo wants Mingyu to know that even when they do get more playful, he will still always treat him right.

            Mingyu nods sincerely. “I do know that, Wonwoo. And as much as I whined and was frustrated because you were being very frustrating—” He pokes Wonwoo’s chest a few times. “I was happy to go along with it. And I say I didn’t like the teasing but I did and I know you know that and I know you liked it too because it was just fun. But I know that you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want. You’re not like…that. And back then, I couldn’t have talked to him like I did to you. Saying don’t you dare leave and stuff. I had to just face it and suffer. But you would never do that to me. You would never make me suffer if you can help it. You’re not like that.”

            Not like him, Wonwoo thinks. Good. Mingyu knows exactly what he was trying to say, and Mingyu trusts that Wonwoo will be better than he’s had before, especially with Wonho. Their level of trust is truly building, along with their love.

            He kisses Mingyu’s nose. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure.”

            Mingyu kisses Wonwoo’s nose back and nods. “Mhm.” He just stares at Wonwoo for a moment before tilting his head and saying, “Besides, you’re not capable of being rough with me. Imagine you trying to spank me.” He laughs once. “That’d be something. You’d apologize like right away.”

            “You overestimate me,” Wonwoo says, pushing at Mingyu’s sweaty orange bangs. “I wouldn’t even be able to do it in the first place.”

            Mingyu sticks out his lower lip. “Aw. You couldn’t hit me?”

            Not that he ever could in the first place with anyone at all, but Wonwoo really couldn’t ever hit Mingyu, even if it was for something like that. Wonwoo knows Mingyu has been treated roughly during sex before, and Wonwoo will never allow himself to be that way. And he knows that Mingyu appreciates it. Mingyu likes his games, but he knows that Wonwoo will never take it too far. Mingyu still deserves to be taken care of, and to be handled with care too.

            Wonwoo says, “Never.”

            Mingyu smiles softly, running his hands up and down Wonwoo’s arms. “You’re so gentle. You’re…you’re what I need. What I’ve needed. I love you, Wonwoo.”

            “I love you too, baby. But do you really hate the hair that much?” He tilts his head and keeps playing with Mingyu’s bangs. “I think it’s kind of cute, actually. Maybe if you styled it up it could—”

            “We’re changing it.”

            “Right.” Wonwoo laughs and drops his hand away. “Goodbye cheese puff.”

            Mingyu giggles and rolls them over so he’s lying on top of Wonwoo. He kisses him over and over again. “You know, I’ve carried you before.”

            Wonwoo tilts his head. “You have? When?”

            Mingyu smiles. “Mmm…remember when you read to me and I…”

            “I remember,” Wonwoo says, drawing circles on Mingyu’s lower back.

            Mingyu laughs a little. “You were so tired you fell asleep on me while we were in the hammock. I carried you to your room that night.”

            Wonwoo kisses him softly. “I remember now. That’s sweet, baby. Bridal style?”

            Mingyu nods. “Mhm. That was the night when I realized I had been falling in love with you. The night that I was an idiot and started to push you away. All because of what _he_ did.”

            Wonwoo runs his fingers through Mingyu’s hair. “Mingyu…it’s okay. You know I understand. You know that I’ll never be that way, and that I will do whatever I can to take care of you. You do know that too, right?”

            Mingyu nods. “I know. You really do love me, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo cups his cheek. “I really do.”

            “Even if you tease me,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo smiles and pokes his sides.

            Mingyu yelps and jerks a little. He widens his eyes at Wonwoo. “Yah!”

            Wonwoo grins and gives him an Eskimo kiss. “I thought you said you liked the playful side of me.” Mingyu rolls his eyes and starts to push off of Wonwoo, but Wonwoo pulls him down. “You’re not going anywhere.”

            Mingyu smirks and kisses him deeply. “Well then what are we—”

            The doorbell rings. Mingyu looks over his shoulder and sighs. He whines and kicks his feet. “Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue. “Ah. Let me go see who it is.”

            Mingyu huffs and rolls off him, flopping onto his back.

            Wonwoo gets up, wipes himself down quickly with some tissues, and throws on a shirt and sweatpants. He points at Mingyu, admiring his body and the mess all over it, and says, “Don’t even think of moving.”

            Mingyu grins. “Hurry back.”

            Wonwoo smiles at him and turns to go out to the door. He twists the handle and says, “Can I help…”

            Of course. As if there would have been anybody there. How stupid of him to not think of it immediately. It’s just been a while and what they just did and… His mind wasn’t all with him. He’s already kicking himself for having zero protective instincts. And now he has to pick up this unmarked white envelope and bring it inside, into their home, and figure out what he should do with it—if he should open it or just throw it away or try to hide it from Mingyu or what.

            He doesn’t even waste the energy in looking down the hallway for someone. He knows it’ll be empty. He picks up the envelope and brings it inside, shutting the door without a sound.

            The envelope is closed with a sticker in the shape of a gold star. Wonwoo makes a disgusted face at it and tears open the letter.

            But it isn’t a letter—it’s a photo. As he pulls out the slightly fuzzy Polaroid, he sees on the picture Mingyu and himself, sitting at their table in the restaurant they went to this afternoon, right after they left the hairdresser. Mingyu is laughing, his silly pretty smile bright even on the film. Wonwoo remembers the exact moment, remembers when Mingyu held his chopsticks up like that and leaned back and laughed probably too loud again. Wonwoo remembers the smile on his own face, the way it felt to see Mingyu like that, even with his ridiculous orange hair, and how much that made him grin.

            But he can’t see his grin. Over his face is a shadowy circle, like the pigment in the picture bled—as if, while the image developed, a thumb was pressed over his face to blur it out.

            Wonwoo manages to keep his hands from shaking for now. He turns the photo over to read the inevitable note.

 

_Digging the hair. It’s a good color match to how hot you are. I bet it would look incredible between my fingers._

_Just try to look any better. I dare you. Xx_

 

Anger and some idiotic form of jealousy flares in Wonwoo’s chest. All he wants to do is crumple the photo and burn it to ashes in hopes that Mingyu will never see anything of it. What is this now—the third “gift” Wonho has given them? This cannot be happening. How dense of him to think that just because he and Mingyu had been feeling okay for a while that this would be over. Wonho would never allow that to happen. Wonho resents their happiness, and seems to be doing whatever it takes to get rid of it. If only Wonwoo had any idea how to stop him from—

            “Who is it, Wonwoo?” Mingyu calls out.

            Wonwoo hears him coming out from the bedroom. He shoves the photo back in the envelope as quickly as he can. “Uh—it’s nothing, baby.”

            Mingyu comes into the common, clean, half dressed in his usual underwear and t-shirt for sleeping. He stops in place a few paces away from Wonwoo and half smiles. “Nothing isn’t a person, Wonwoo. What…” His eyes land on the envelope in Wonwoo’s hands. He frowns, and to Wonwoo it looks even angrier than he is.

            “Don’t, Mingyu,” Wonwoo says softly, pulling the envelope behind himself. “Just don’t.”

            “That’s from him, isn’t it,” Mingyu says, tilting his chin at Wonwoo. “Why are you hiding it from me?”

            Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. He can’t keep it away from Mingyu if he wants to see it, but he doesn’t know what it’ll do to him if he does. “Mingyu, I just…I don’t want you to see this.”

            Mingyu steps up in front of him. “Show me.”

            Wonwoo hesitates, keeping his arms behind his back.

            Mingyu grabs his wrist and pulls his arm between them. “Show me, Wonwoo.”

            So Wonwoo lets Mingyu take the envelope from his fingers.

            Mingyu takes the photo out and drops the envelope to the floor, and he looks at the picture for a long time. He flips it over and reads the note, turns it back and stares again. He doesn’t say anything.

            Wonwoo hates the look on Mingyu’s face, the slight trembling of his lips like he could cry at any moment. He hates that Wonho made him like that, with just a photo. A photo, and everything he did to Mingyu in the past.

            Wonwoo takes a breath and says, “Mingyu—”

            Mingyu tears the Polaroid in half, separating them in the image.

            Wonwoo grips Mingyu’s hands. “Wait! Mingyu—” He plucks the two halves from Mingyu’s grasp.

            “What are you doing, Wonwoo?” Mingyu says, a little louder than usual, voice gravelly, staring at the air between them and not looking into Wonwoo’s eyes.

            What is Wonwoo doing? Does he even know? Something suddenly told him to take the photo back, keep it from being torn even more. What’s _wrong_ with him?

            He shakes his head. “I—I don’t know. Just…just let’s save it. We’re going to keep it.”

            Mingyu blinks at the ground. “For what?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head again. “I don’t know.”

            Mingyu finally looks up, glaring into Wonwoo’s eyes. “Why would you want to keep this, Wonwoo?” His voice is still raised, but it shakes a little more with every word.

            Wonwoo tries to keep himself in check. If he has to see Mingyu like this much more, he’ll break down too. If he can’t help this, then eventually that will happen, and then they’ll both be a terrible mess, and then Wonho will have had his way. If it comes to that, Wonwoo won’t be strong enough for Mingyu anymore, and Mingyu will have truly no reason at all to stay—only reasons to leave. Wonho will win.

            If Wonwoo had never brought Mingyu here, none of this would be happening to him. He really understands now how Jihoon must have felt after Wonho visited the island. Why can’t they seem to get Mingyu out of harm’s way? Out of _his_ way?

            But no. He knows that just like Jihoon, he shouldn’t be blaming himself for this. For part of it—for not being able to fix it—yes, but not for it all. This isn’t his fault, and it wasn’t Jihoon’s fault back then. This is Wonho’s fault. Which means that Wonwoo has to do what he can to make it better, to make Mingyu better.

            He hates that even during their good times, the threat of Wonho’s presence still hangs darkly over them. Just one day without that is all Wonwoo can ask for at this point. One day, or a lifetime. But he doesn’t know how to make that happen.

            Wonwoo knows he’s slowly losing, but that doesn’t mean he has to let Wonho win, because if Wonho wins, it means he’s won against Mingyu too. Wonwoo will let himself break down, but he will keep Mingyu standing, whatever it takes.

            And yet, he still doesn’t know what that is. He thinks that he better figure it out really fucking quick.

            He looks seriously into Mingyu’s eyes. “I’m keeping it,” he says with finality. “I’ll put it away. I promise.”

            Mingyu continues to glare at him for a moment. The anger is clear in his eyes, but it does nothing to mask the fear and exhaustion there too. But Wonwoo knows Mingyu isn’t mad at him. Eventually, Mingyu nods and says, “Okay. I trust you.”

            Wonwoo takes Mingyu’s hand and squeezes it. He leads Mingyu back into the bedroom, and Mingyu waits on the bed while Wonwoo puts the two pieces of the Polaroid away in some corner of the closet. He shuts the light off and closes the door to the walk in when he leaves. He sits down next to Mingyu on the edge of the bed, putting his hands in his lap.

            “Did you keep the drinks too?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo nods at his knees. “I did.”

            Mingyu nods back. “Why does he have to ruin everything?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu shrugs like he knows there’s not much either of them can do now. “Sorry I got mad.”

            “I’m mad too.”

            “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

            That was yelling? Wonwoo has heard voices louder than that, and those people were just pitching ideas for the company. “You were frustrated, baby. I understand. So am I.”

            Mingyu nods again. “What do we do now?”

            Wonwoo shrugs one shoulder. “Should we finish dinner?”

            “Are you hungry?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head.

            “Me either.” Mingyu sighs heavily. “I don’t feel like cleaning up.”

            Wonwoo can agree with that. “It’s okay. I’ll get it in the morning.”

            “I do feel like I want a very long hug.”

            They finally look at each other. Mingyu’s eyes—his terribly beautiful eyes—are wide with fear, and downturned with grief.

            Wonwoo says, “I can do that.”

            They wrap their arms around each other.


	10. October 1; 50

They hold hands a lot now. With everything that’s been going on, with Wonho’s oppressive presence around them, Mingyu holds Wonwoo’s hand any chance he gets as a way to stick as close to him as possible. Wonwoo isn’t sure if it’s a good or bad development. He knows that this is all a huge backwards, overlapping, and restarting thing, like a double helix twisting around and around, their love for each other and comfort with each other tangling in with the need for Mingyu’s safety and mental health. Mingyu holding his hand all the time shows the kind of glue that Wonho has put between them—which would be, in most any other case, a good thing. But Wonwoo has known ever since he met Mingyu that Mingyu has some growing up to do—that was part of the reason he wanted Mingyu to come here to New York in the first place. This thing with Wonho seems to only be setting that progress Mingyu made back step by step. Maybe everything just completely backfired.

            But he really is just glad that Mingyu would rather be close to him in this mess than far away and safer. And though it can’t go on forever, and though it reminds Wonwoo of a child clinging to his caretaker for proximal comfort while crossing the street, he will never say no to holding Mingyu’s hand. The truth of the matter is that he _wants_ to hold Mingyu’s hand all the time, and he loves the feeling of being here for Mingyu when Mingyu is upset, and taking care of Mingyu.

            Is that selfish of him? To take some sadistic, prideful pleasure or satisfaction in caring for Mingyu when he knows that it’s coming as a result of Wonho terrorizing them? Sometimes he thinks he’s an awful person—that he should be shipping Mingyu back to the island as soon as possible even if it meant the end of their relationship, that he should have done that a long time ago. But whenever he asks Mingyu about it, suggests calling Jihoon and seeing if Mingyu can’t get the soonest plane out of here, Mingyu says that he wants to be with Wonwoo, and that he knows that Wonwoo has to be here for his job, and that in the end that means staying in New York.

            That’s another thing—Wonwoo’s work. He has been going a few days a week. He can’t sustain his amount of work or, in his mind, his credibility in his position if he never steps foot in the office for a month. The only solution he could think of was to bring Mingyu with him. He is so endlessly thankful that he’s always been good to his employees, and that they like him enough to allow Mingyu to stay. Of course, he is the boss, and he could tell them all to go to hell if they opposed Mingyu or their relationship. But he’s not like that, and neither are they. So Mingyu has been going to the office with him three, maybe four days a week so that Wonwoo can do the business that needs to be done, talk to his associates, whatever. The first few times, Mingyu stayed in his office, lying on the couch and reading books, gazing out the landscape window at the city below (more than once, Wonwoo had returned to his office and Mingyu had a story to tell him about something that happened outside—the little girl in the bright yellow raincoat, the procession of rainbow-striped flags that went down the street before lunchtime). But soon enough Mingyu felt comfortable wandering around the building—or at least, the three floors that belong solely to Wonwoo’s company. He’s even made some friends, including the woman at the desk outside Wonwoo’s office who learned Korean for the job. Mingyu tells him that they practice language together when Wonwoo is in meetings.

            Everything outside of Wonho is going just fine—like life should. And had Wonho never come here, they would be immensely happy together. But that happiness gets drained out of them at the start of every morning, with the thoughts that something else might happen today—another box outside their door, another visit while they’re buying groceries. Wonwoo can feel that fear when Mingyu holds his hand very tightly.

            Wonwoo has at least been trying to help it. While he still hasn’t been sure exactly what to do with the option of sending Mingyu to the island apparently out of the question for the time being, he has had a few ideas. He just wishes they had amounted to anything.

            First, he went to the front desk at his apartment building with the idea that maybe Wonho had stepped foot in the building and the desk worker would remember and maybe be able to refuse him entry. But the older man who’s always at the desk said he couldn’t recall anyone who looked like that coming through even one time, much less repeatedly. Wonwoo suggested the security cameras—maybe a delivery company could be seen with the boxes that Wonwoo would be able to identify if he saw them. But the man had said that he knew the people who delivered to this address—that he’d been here for thirty years and knew the changes in delivery persons and that there hadn’t been any one of those people coming in every week recently. (He also wasn’t hesitant to tell Wonwoo that he had no right to look at the security footage unless he wanted to get a warrant.) That was when Wonwoo recalled the first time—the rose—and that Mingyu had told him that the man who gave him the box was wearing plain clothes with no form of identification. Wonwoo understood that Wonho had been using random people—someone new each time, he’s sure—to deliver the “gifts”. Which means, on that front, they have nothing.

            So he went to the police. He told them about everything that had been going on—the visit in the restaurant, the gifts. He even brought the torn photo to show them. The only thing he didn’t disclose was Mingyu’s past—both because he doesn’t know it in detail, and because it wouldn’t be fair to Mingyu. Besides, he had no way to prove it as truth anyway. It seemed that the police liked to think exactly that about everything Wonwoo told them. With no real evidence, and only one “harmless” visit by Wonho, there was nothing they could do. The worst part of it all was that Wonwoo had to go back to his office where Mingyu had been waiting (leaving him there with his coworkers was the best option since Wonho knows about the apartment), open those big doors, and wipe every trace of Mingyu’s smile off his beautiful face by telling him that it was all for nothing. Of course he had to tell him. How could he lie to Mingyu?

            Since then—since just yesterday afternoon, and yet it feels like he’s known it the whole time—he’s understood that this isn’t going to end so easily. Why would it? Wonho hasn’t won yet, so why would he stop? Now they just go day by day, waiting for the next time Mingyu gets to force himself not to cry.

            As he walks alongside Mingyu, Wonwoo tries not to think about all of that. He shakes his head and squeezes Mingyu’s hand.

            Mingyu looks over and smiles a little. “What?”

            Wonwoo looks up at him. His hair is blonde now, a beautiful golden blonde that really does look so incredible with his dark skin and gorgeous eyes. Wonwoo loves it. He smiles in return. “Nothing. Just thinking about what else you might need. Or want.”

            They’ve been out today, shopping for whatever Mingyu thought he might want to have with him at the apartment. With all of his clothes and necessary things already there, he said that all he really wanted was the brand of toothpaste that he ran out of two weeks ago—he doesn’t like Wonwoo’s because the mint is too strong and he wanted his sweeter one. Wonwoo laughed and asked if he was really sure that was all he wanted to get, and Mingyu said that he had everything he needed, including Wonwoo. Wonwoo blushed and would have taken Mingyu’s hand to hold had their fingers not already been laced together. It was a bit of a surprise, then, that Mingyu let go and wandered into a different aisle of the drugstore when they got there, and then ended up coming back with a conspicuous bottle of lube, “For the coffee table, because I’m tired of you having to run off to the bedroom.” Wonwoo blushed a little more and told Mingyu not to wave it around like that, and Mingyu chuckled and tucked it close to his body, covering the labels with his hands.

            Other than that, they’ve just been wandering, figuring out what else they should get. Wonwoo steals glances over his shoulder and all around them at least once every two minutes. He hates that it’s compulsory now. He shouldn’t have to be worried about their safety, but with that Polaroid coming last week, he can’t stop checking.

            Mingyu shrugs, swinging the bag in his free hand. “Can’t think of anything. I thought I’d be better at shopping. I used to be. I think I lost the ability when Jihoon and I moved to the island.”

            Wonwoo smiles again, checking the crowd of people going past them on the left. Nothing. “I’m no good either.”

            “Should we just get something for dinner?”

            Wonwoo looks at his phone. “It’s only two.”

            “Second lunch and dinner?” Mingyu grins.

            Wonwoo laughs and thinks for a second. “Mmm…let’s make cookies. And decorate them. I’m craving something sweet.”

            Mingyu clicks his tongue at him. “And you got after me for the peppermint toothpaste.”

            Wonwoo nudges him. “I was kidding. I just like spearmint better. What do you think? We can get lots of different icing colors.”

            “Sprinkles?” Mingyu asks, eyes wider.

            “Only if they’re the sugar kind.”

            Mingyu squeals.

 

…

 

Wonwoo carries their plate over to the coffee table, following Mingyu. They only have four cookies here, but there are plenty more in the kitchen. Mingyu plops down on the couch and picks up two cookies, saying, “Now the house smells like warm sugar and vanilla. Can we do this all the time?”

            Wonwoo smiles and takes the cookie that Mingyu hands him. It’s one he decorated; it’s a colorful round something—a ball, an ornament, he has no idea. Mingyu’s has a perfect cartoon diamond, white with blue outline. That one was definitely not Wonwoo’s work. “Thank you,” he says. “Yours looks way better than mine. And we might be able to find a candle.”

            Mingyu makes a face. “But I can’t eat a candle.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes playfully, and Mingyu leans over and kisses his cheek. “Still sweet,” Mingyu says.

            It took them a total of two hours to mix the dough, bake the cookies, and decorate them all. While the cookies were in the oven, they made six different pastel colors of icing—yellow, purple, green, pink, blue, and then leaving one plain white. Mingyu managed to spill red food dye all over the countertop and shrieked as he ran to grab paper towels. Wonwoo laughed at his worry—the dye wouldn’t ruin the marble—but Mingyu was adamant about cleaning it and apologizing over and over again. But he forgot about it when Wonwoo dipped a finger into the white icing and held it out, telling him to taste. Mingyu licked his finger, eyes going wide, then grabbed the icing bowl and sat down on the floor in front of the oven, coveting it against his chest like he did with those weird fruits on the island. Wonwoo sat down with him, only to get a glob of icing to his cheek immediately. He laughed and did the same to Mingyu, and for a long time they went back and forth, applying icing, cleaning it off, eating some, applying some more, messing with each other until somehow the bowl was half empty and sitting alone on the floor while its owners kissed slowly in front of the warmth of the oven, like some makeshift fireplace. And then Mingyu pulled away with his arms around Wonwoo’s neck and looked into the oven window and said, “Ooh—they’re done,” and the oven beeped right then. And they decorated, and Wonwoo laughed at his terrible artwork while admiring Mingyu’s consistent ability to be very good at anything fun, piping the icing onto cookies from plastic sandwich bags. They probably ended up with way too many cookies, and Wonwoo anticipates Mingyu’s stomachache in a while, but that’s all okay. Because, for a blessed two hours, they got to forget.

            Wonwoo smiles and kisses him back. “You too. First bite?” he says, holding up his cookie.

            Mingyu holds his up and they do cheers before taking a bite. Mingyu’s eyes close and a smile spreads on his face and he does that funny shoulder wiggle that he does when he’s happy or excited, humming high-pitched. “So good,” he says.

            Wonwoo nods. “Shoddy, but delicious.”

            Mingyu clicks his tongue and shoves the other half of his cookie in his mouth. “Maybe yours. Mine is beautiful and delicious.”

            Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow. “Was.”

            Mingyu covers his mouth and laughs. Swallowing, he says, “I’m going to eat all thirty of the other ones,” and he picks up his second—a cute baby pink heart on it—disappearing half of that one too.

            Wonwoo smiles and shakes his head at him. He does wish sometimes that he could eat like Mingyu does. But Mingyu did say he likes Wonwoo’s body, so he figures that’s enough. “Coffee might go well with these, actually,” he says.

            Mingyu sighs, chewing his huge bite. His eyes flick over Wonwoo’s shoulder briefly, and then look back at him even bigger. He does a quick, happy sounding, “Mm!” before tossing his cookie down onto the plate and standing from the couch, dusting his hands off.

            Wonwoo tilts his head at the cookie, then turns his gaze to follow Mingyu. Before he has a chance to ask what it is, he sees the envelope that was apparently just slipped under their door. He didn’t even know that was possible.

            “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu doesn’t listen. He hops over to the door, plucking the envelope from the ground and then unbolting the lock and yanking the door open. He steps halfway into the hall and throws his arms out, calling, “Thank you _so much_!” to what Wonwoo knows is empty space. And then he shoves the door shut and bolts it again. He turns back to Wonwoo with a huge grin on his face and hops back to the couch.

            “Mingyu?” Wonwoo says again. He feels empty in his chest.

            Mingyu jumps back onto the couch, landing with a bounce. A giddy laugh escapes his lungs. “Look, Wonwoo! A present!”

            Wonwoo opens his mouth to speak, but Mingyu tears open the envelope from the side, shoving his hand in and pulling out another photograph. He tosses the envelope behind him and holds the picture up to look at. He giggles again and says, “Aren’t we so cute?” He smacks the photo down on the coffee table and puts his hands in his hair.

            Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. He takes a quick glance at the photo, then looks back at Mingyu, who’s looking at the picture sideways, fingers scrunched on his head, arms tense up by his shoulders, breathing through a clenched rictus. Dumb, he says again, “Mingyu…”

            Mingyu grins maniacally over at him, eyes bright, blonde strands sticking out from between his fingers. “We’re fucking adorable!”

            “Mingyu.” Wonwoo puts his hands gently on Mingyu’s face. Slowly, the grin fades and the rapid heaving of Mingyu’s chest settles down and Mingyu releases his hair. “Mingyu.”

            Mingyu blinks at him, and his arms sink to his lap. “I’m sorry, Wonwoo.”

            “Don’t be sorry.”

            Mingyu’s head shakes in a miniscule twitch, possibly disbelief, possibly certainty. “I expected this.”

            Wonwoo nods. “So did I.”

            “I shouldn’t have—”

            “You should have. I get it. Let me take a look at it.” _For something. Anything. Anything that can help us._

Mingyu sighs and nods, dropping his gaze.

            Wonwoo picks up the photograph from the table. It’s them again, from behind. They’re holding hands, walking down the sidewalk. Mingyu has his drugstore bag in his hand—Wonwoo can practically see the motion of him swinging it thoughtfully.

            He doesn’t know how long he stares at it, searching. There has to be something in the background of the photo. Some reflective surface—the side of a building, a passing taxi, somebody’s sunglasses, even a shiny signpost. Something that could give away Wonho, walking there behind them, holding up that camera.

            But there isn’t. It’s only them, hands locked together, completely oblivious.

            Wonwoo flips the photo over for the inevitable note.

 

_Do you hold his like you used to hold mine? We’re like puzzle pieces—we fit well, right? Our hands, and other parts of us. Xx_

            This time, Wonwoo is the one who wants to rip it in half. _We fit well, right?_ There’s no way Wonho could know that was something they said to each other, a little inside thing he and Mingyu had on the island. What kind of horrifying coincidence is this?

            “Can I see?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo won’t fight him on it this time. What’s the point? He hands over the photo.

            Mingyu reads it. Wonwoo sees another of those little twitches, just under his eye, as Mingyu sees those words. Mingyu nods, and he keeps nodding as he puts the picture back on the table. He pats his hands on his knees and says, “Did you want that coffee, Wonwoo? I can make it for you.”

            Wonwoo sinks into the couch a little bit. How far gone are they? If the five stages of grief mean anything, they must have burned through them all by now. Denial when they got the rose—the surety that nothing else was going to happen. A flurry of anger, bargaining, and depression with Wonho’s visit and each of the new gifts—the tearing of the photo, the _Why won’t he leave us alone?_ , the sinking onto the bed in tears or silence. Have they reached the last stage now? Are they in acceptance?

            How can they accept this?

            The lack of emotion on Mingyu’s face pains Wonwoo more than any anger or tears. Wonho manages to chip away at Mingyu’s happiness a little bit more each day, carving out big chunks from Mingyu’s reserves with each of these deliveries. Mingyu is going to run out soon. And then what?

            Wonwoo nods. “Sure, Mingyu.”

            “Black, right?” Mingyu says, standing robotically from the couch, walking to the kitchen. “Do you want another cookie? I’m not sure I can eat them all myself.”

            Wonwoo looks at the half eaten pink heart on the cookie Mingyu didn’t finish. “Sure, Mingyu.”

 

…

 

The doorbell rings six times in a row at two a.m. It’s enough to wake them both up.

            Wonwoo rubs his face while Mingyu takes his pillow out from under his head and smothers his face with it, making some incoherent noise.

            Wonwoo finds his hand and squeezes it briefly.

            “Not again,” Mingyu says, muffled. “Not today. Please, Wonwoo.”

            “Wait here, baby.” He sits up, putting on his glasses and leaning to get out of bed.

            Mingyu pushes his pillow away. “No, I’m coming with you.” He reaches for Wonwoo’s hand.

            “Okay,” Wonwoo says, and takes it gently.

 

“We don’t have to open it,” Wonwoo says, looking down at the box—similarly sized to the one the drinks came in—outside the door. Both of them have unconsciously stayed behind the threshold, purposefully not stepping onto that other, foreign side, staying safe in their home. “We don’t even have to bring it inside.”

            Mingyu shifts his fingers in Wonwoo’s. “That won’t stop him. Are we just going to leave it out there forever?”

            “You can wait here and I can take it down to be thrown away,” Wonwoo offers. But he doesn’t want to do that. Something—some horrible little itch inside him—wants to know what it is. It might scare him and it definitely will scare Mingyu, but he wants to know. By the way Mingyu is looking wide-eyed down at it, he’s pretty sure Mingyu does, too. Does that mean Wonho is finally getting to them?

            That’s a joke. Wonho has been getting to them this whole time.

            “Let’s bring it inside,” Mingyu decides.

            They’ve become mechanical with this, automatic, hardly thinking anymore. They receive, they open, they read, and they go back to their room. This time is no different. Wonwoo picks up the box, and they go to the dining table.

            Wonwoo sets the box down as they sit on the corner of the table, facing each other. He straightens his glasses. “Should we open it? Do you want to?”

            Mingyu chews his lip, looking exhausted. “No. But yes.”

            Wonwoo nods. He peels the tape back from the lid of the box and opens the flaps. After pulling out wads of paper, he finds a sealed mason jar with pretty decorated glass, blurring what’s inside, but not enough for it to be unrecognizable. He lifts it out of the box and sets it down on the table. He pushes the box away.

            “What do you think?” he asks. And in his head, he thinks, _I’m craving something sweet._

            “I think we shouldn’t eat them,” Mingyu says.

            The jar is full of heart-shaped candies—the chalky kind you get on Valentine’s Day in grade school from your crush. They’re all different colors, and they even have the tiny candy writing on each side.

            “Wonwoo, look.” Mingyu turns the jar so that Wonwoo can see. Clear in the unmarked portion of the glass where a label might go is a perfect baby pink heart. On it is written the word _demons_.

            Wonwoo blinks at it for a moment, wondering why exactly Wonho wants to terrorize them this much—so much he’ll take the extra minute to get that heart facing just the right way. “Do you think they all say that?”

            Mingyu sighs. “Only one way to find out.”

            Wonwoo shrugs.

            Mingyu takes the jar and twists the top off, peering inside. “They have different words. I think they have words on one side and numbers on the other.”

            Wonwoo’s brow furrows. And then he figures it out. “It’s—”

            “A message,” Mingyu says. His fingers tighten on the jar.

            “Right. Let’s lay them out by number. Rows of ten.”

            Mingyu upturns the jar and dumps out the candies. There aren’t many—less than a hundred, Wonwoo is sure from his first look. They begin to arrange them by number, Mingyu frowning once in a while when he looks at one of the words on the other side.

            “What is this, Wonwoo?” Mingyu says, pushing a heart into the second row with his pointer finger.

            Wonwoo shakes his head, placing purple number 23 in its spot. “I don’t know, baby. There’s a couple left…”

            In another moment, Mingyu is putting white number 41 at the beginning of the fourth and final row. And then they both pause and search around on the floor beneath them.

            “There’s only forty-nine,” Mingyu says. “Did we lose one?”

            Wonwoo lifts his feet, looking around, trying to see if one fell off the table and skittered away. He doesn’t see any. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

            Mingyu only looks at him.

            “Should we flip them?” Wonwoo asks, suddenly less sure that he wants to know what’s on the other side of these hearts.

            Mingyu nods. “Start from the beginning.”

            Wonwoo reads aloud as he starts with green number 1. “But…our…love…”

            Mingyu frowns again at the word—at the mere idea of it.

            “…it…was…stronger…”

            Wonwoo stops. He thinks for a second, hand hovering over blue 7.

            “What is it?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo looks down at the candies. “Help me flip them. All of them. Leave them in order.”

            “Why what is it?” Mingyu tries to keep his voice from shaking. It never really works.

            “Come on, Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, already flipping the hearts haphazardly over. “Help me.”

            Mingyu bites down on his lip too hard and helps. When all the hearts are flipped over, Mingyu watches as Wonwoo rearranges the rows into uneven lines, splicing a few hearts off the end of one line and tacking them onto the next, or moving some back to the previous line, creating…

            “God, Wonwoo. What _is this_?”

 

_But our love it was stronger by far than the love_

_Of those who were older than we_

_Of many far wiser than we_

_And neither the angels in Heaven above_

_Nor the demons down under the sea_

_Can ever dissever my soul from the soul_

_Of the beautiful_

            “It’s a poem,” Wonwoo says. “By Edgar Allen Poe. It’s about a man who watches his lover die from the cold, and then sleeps in her tomb at night. Her name is Annabel Lee. That’s the title, and the last words. The missing ones. But…”

            “It’s me,” Mingyu says in a whisper. “I’m fifty.”

            Wonwoo sits back and rubs his face. “Oh god.”

            “Wonwoo, is he threatening me?”

            Wonwoo looks at Mingyu, staring at him with the same huge, tired eyes. Much more of this and they’ll be stuck that way forever—always hyper-alert, always terrified. Maybe that’s Wonho’s goal, too.

            But Wonwoo knows that Wonho wouldn’t threaten Mingyu’s life this way. Even before, when he was on the island, he didn’t do enough to come close to killing Mingyu, only enough to leave him very, very damaged. If Mingyu were gone, Wonho wouldn’t have any more game to play. “No,” Wonwoo says. “I don’t think so. I think he’s…I think he’s just trying to scare you.”

            He’s said it before, and Mingyu answers the same way. He whispers, “It’s still working.”

            Wonwoo takes Mingyu’s hands and stands up, pulling him into a hug. He has nothing he can say that he hasn’t said already. He feels as though every time this happens, he makes empty promises to Mingyu. He feels disgusting that he can’t protect Mingyu like he should.

            Eventually, hugs aren’t going to cut it.

            “When is this going to stop,” Mingyu says through a tight throat.

            “Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

            But he isn’t. It’s just reflex now. He says, “I won’t.”

            Wonwoo closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I wish there was something I could say to you, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu leans back and looks at the floor. “It’s okay. I know you’ve tried. I know there’s nothing you can do.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head harder this time. “But there should be. Why isn’t there? I talk to the authorities and they tell me there’s not enough. Why won’t they do anything? _Why can’t I do anything?_ ”

            “Wonwoo, this is my fault. For letting him do what he did to me and becoming so vulnerable that—”

            “ _Mingyu stop_.” Wonwoo is horrified. He holds Mingyu by his shoulders. “Don’t ever say anything like that again.” Mingyu chews on his lip and looks down. “You are absolutely not at fault for any of this,” Wonwoo says. “What he did to you…” He clenches his eyes shut. “I could kill him. You don’t deserve what happened, you don’t deserve this now, and you certainly don’t deserve any blame.”

            Mingyu nods slowly. “But neither do you.”

            “No,” Wonwoo says. “But I should be able to do something about it. But I just don’t know what.”

            Mingyu sighs. “Me either. I wish he would just _go away_.”

            Wonwoo hugs him again, kissing his forehead. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

            There it is again. The same thing happens over and over, even as the packages showing up at their house seem to get worse and worse, closer and closer to their life. Gift, fear, tears, and a promise that it will all be okay. That has never been true so far. Was this one a real promise, or just more empty words?

            “Okay,” Wonwoo says. “Okay. Let’s take a picture of these and put them away for…something.”

            “Can we do it tomorrow?” Mingyu asks. “I just want to go to sleep.”

            Wonwoo looks into his eyes. The same thing, over and over—sad, awful, and totally helpless. “Yes. Come on.”

            He pulls Mingyu back into their bedroom and takes him to his side of the bed. He waits until Mingyu lies down and pulls the covers over him, kissing his forehead again. He goes around to the other side, takes his glasses off, and climbs in, pressing up against Mingyu’s back and wrapping his arm over him. Mingyu is usually big for this, but with him curled up like he is now, it’s almost a perfect fit.

            Mingyu holds Wonwoo’s hand at his stomach, turning his head to look at Wonwoo and saying, “I’m sorry.”

            For all of this happening, Wonwoo is sorry too.

            He shakes his head, squeezing Mingyu’s hand. “No, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu nods. “I love you.”

            “I love you, Mingyu. Go to sleep.”

            “Can I turn around?”

            “Anything.”

            Wonwoo lies back, and Mingyu rolls over, putting his head in the crook of Wonwoo’s shoulder and closing his eyes. Wonwoo kisses his hair very softly, and closes his eyes too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are becoming similar to each other. Rote actions, rote emotions. While I haven’t been stalked, I do have experience with sociopaths, (and study psychology in uni), so believe me when I say that excessive repetition of the same bad thing is exactly how you make someone go mad.  
> I also wanted to say that I’m going out of town for a bit (seeing Day6 hELL YEAH) and so the next chapter will be up after that.
> 
> For those who asked, my quite unexciting Twitter is……………………@heckhansol !! Surprise lol. Feel free to message me :)  
> L


	11. October 2; Palace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologize that this took so long. Please enjoy!

Wonwoo wakes naturally, and Mingyu is there next to him, looking into his eyes. Looking back at him, Wonwoo briefly thinks about the first morning they shared here together, when Mingyu pretended to still be asleep for all that time until he spoke and laughed and opened his eyes and he smiled at Wonwoo. Mingyu didn’t bother with that today. Wonwoo figures it’s the feeling of their lives right now that took that little bit of fun out of him, and Wonwoo too. He figures that’s also why Mingyu doesn’t smile at him now, either.

            “Good morning, Mingyu,” he says.

            “Good morning, Wonwoo.”

            “How are you?”

            Mingyu blinks at him, and then moves closer and wraps his arm over Wonwoo’s body and settles close, head under Wonwoo’s chin. Wonwoo brings one arm to cover Mingyu’s, and his other hand to Mingyu’s hair to play with it.

            “Me too,” he says, almost too quiet to hear.

            Mingyu’s hand tightens on Wonwoo’s side. “I don’t know what time it is.”

            “Me either,” Wonwoo says. “But it doesn’t matter.”

            “Do you work today?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo has no idea. “No.”

            Mingyu hums.

            Wonwoo looks at the ceiling for a while, petting Mingyu’s blonde hair. Then he says, “Is there anything special I can do for you today?”

            Mingyu sits up a little and looks at him. “You forgot one thing.”

            Wonwoo squeezes his arm. “I didn’t forget.”

            “Then kiss me.”

            Wonwoo does, and it lasts as long as they can. Mingyu lies back down where he was and says, “I don’t know.”

            “Nothing you want to do?” Wonwoo asks, though he knows it’s a stupid question. Why would Mingyu want to go outside.

            Mingyu shrugs. After a while he says, “I’m tired of concrete and asphalt, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo’s heart does an uncomfortable twitch. He’s tired of it too, but Mingyu means it in a different way. Is Mingyu saying that he wants white sand and jungle floor instead? He says, “You are?”

            Mingyu nods. “Is it really cold today?”

            Wonwoo looks to his window. The shades are drawn. “Probably.”

            “Can you take me swimming? I miss the water so much. You said there might be somewhere indoors.”

            Mingyu blinks up at him with those puppy eyes of his, and Wonwoo’s heart lifts both because Mingyu isn’t quite saying he wants to go back to the island, and because Mingyu’s big eyes are usually an indicator that he feels not entirely depressed. Wonwoo nods immediately. “Absolutely. You’re sure you want to go out?”

            Mingyu pauses, looking down. He shrugs. “We can’t stay in here forever. And besides, since he just did something, he probably won’t again for a while, right? That’s how it works, right?”

            Is it? That had been the pattern up until last night when they got two deliveries in a short span of time. And does it really matter how long of a wait there is between events anyway? Wonwoo knows now that this is one of those paradoxical, progressively building things—like an earthquake, where the longer they have to wait, the more likely it is that one is going to happen soon. Long wait or not, they don’t win either way.

            But he knows Mingyu is right, and he can understand how Mingyu is feeling and how much he must want to feel normal for once. So he says, “Okay. Whatever you want, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu kisses his chin, so Wonwoo kisses his nose. Mingyu says, “I’ll wear pants over swim shorts. Are you swimming too? You don’t have to.” A smile tries to form and he says, “I remember you said you liked watching me.”

            Wonwoo has a sudden, intense rush of love for him. He says, “I do. Can I watch you today?”

            Mingyu hums and nods. “I’ll get ready.”

 

When they walk out from the bedroom, Mingyu’s eyes land on the dining table—empty. He turns and gives Wonwoo a sad, appreciative gaze.

            “I didn’t want you to see it anymore,” Wonwoo says quietly.

            He got up last night, so careful not to wake Mingyu, and took a photo of the candies and the jar and the box they came in, then put them away and into the closet with the other gifts. He might not know what to do about anything, but he at least knew he could do that much for Mingyu.

            Mingyu sighs and hugs him. “You’re…”

            Wonwoo tries to smile this time. “Anything you want to eat? You must be hungry after no dinner.”

            Mingyu hums. “Mmm…I want…a melon popsicle.”

            Wonwoo pauses, pulling back to look at him, keeping his arms around him. “It’s about negative one out. I just checked.”

            Mingyu shrugs. “I’m going swimming aren’t I?”

            “Inside.”

            Mingyu smiles gently and pecks his lips. “Popsicle it is. They make coffee ones you know.”

            Wonwoo raises his eyebrows. “Really?”

            “Mhm. You’ll love it even if you freeze.”

            Wonwoo smiles, and Mingyu even giggles quietly. It’s almost a whisper when Wonwoo says, “A little better?”

            Mingyu nods. “Whenever I wake up with you I feel good.”

            Wonwoo hugs him again for a while, and then takes his hand to start out from their apartment, into the unsafe zone of everything else. “I love all of you,” he says.

            When they step outside, Mingyu’s grip on his hand tightens even before the door has a chance to close.

 

…

 

“Ah, I can smell it,” Mingyu says, holding onto Wonwoo’s arm with his left, fingers gripped unconsciously tight into the sleeve of Wonwoo’s hoodie, and still nursing the last of his green popsicle in his right hand.

            Wonwoo smiles and nods. “The sweet smell of chlorine. It’s not the beach, but it’s the best I can do without getting you sick from this cold.”

            Mingyu takes a deep breath and sighs it out, his breath visible in the air. “No, I like it. Any place to swim is a good place to swim as long as it’s clean.”

            Wonwoo chuckles as they approach the entrance to the public pool. Looking in the glass doors, it’s busier than he expected it to be. He’s glad there’s a maximum occupancy; Mingyu is used to wide open ocean with not even a chance of more then twelve other people swimming with him, and it’s not like Seungkwan or Jeonghan or Jihoon would be jumping at the chance to get into the water with him. Wonwoo wonders what Seungkwan, Jeonghan, and Jihoon would think about what’s happening right now. They’d probably kill him for not sending Mingyu back—probably will the moment they find out about this. And Wonwoo does want to tell them, wants to try to get some sort of help since he’s so clueless as to what he should do. But Mingyu doesn’t want that, and even though Wonwoo’s logic tells him to forgo Mingyu’s opinion and tell Jihoon anyway, his heart wants to give Mingyu everything he can, especially in their circumstances now. And if they _can_ somehow figure this out on their own, Mingyu will be all the better for it.

            Mingyu wiggles against his side and says, “I’m so excited. Thank you, Wonwoo.”

            “Of course,” Wonwoo says. “The water is your palace.”

            Mingyu stops in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the doors and looks at him with big eyes. “That’s beautiful.”

            Wonwoo smiles and puts his hand out. “Trash?”

            Mingyu kisses his hair and hands him his popsicle stick and wrapper before running up to the doors and bouncing on his toes, impatiently waving Wonwoo over.

 

The pool is nowhere near as pretty as the island’s ocean or the pools in the caves they visited, but Mingyu is still just as beautiful. He quickly opted for the lap side of the pool, stripping down to his swim trunks before choosing the third row in and diving forward with that same smooth form that Wonwoo first saw when Soonyoung took them out to the reef on his boat. Watching Mingyu twist through the water, back and forth over and over, smiling up at him once in a while, Wonwoo’s heart hurts for their days on the island—a painful nostalgia for better, lighter, easier, happier times. What Wonwoo wouldn’t give to go back to that time—to go back, but to keep their level of emotional connection that they have now. If only life were that easy. But he and Mingyu have been dealt a pretty losing hand.

            He frowns at himself and shakes his head. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. And he shouldn’t get caught up in those times, because Mingyu is here, now, with him. Wonwoo might make unattainable promises, and he might work too much, and he might not know what to do at all, but Mingyu is still here. And these _are_ happy times. Wonwoo couldn’t ask for a better person to be sharing his time with. He could wish for things to be a little easier, but regarding Mingyu, he wouldn’t change a thing. And besides, negative thinking like that is what’s going to make things worse, and is exactly what Wonho wants.

            Mingyu finishes a streak of five laps, faster than anyone else next to him, and stops against the side of the pool for a moment to rest. He looks over at Wonwoo and waves, and Wonwoo smiles to him and waves back. Mingyu holds an arm up and points at his wrist: _Time?_

Wonwoo shrugs. _Doesn’t matter to me. As long as you want._

Mingyu grins at him, then pushes backward into the water and starts again.

            Wonwoo does like remembering those times on the island though. That day out on the reef with Mingyu has to be one of his favorite parts of the whole trip. Mingyu was gorgeous and lively and excited and new, and Wonwoo was nervous and awkward and unsure about everything, and yet they still managed to have a really good time together, gliding over the colors of the coral with the fish, learning about that starfish Mingyu found ( _It starts with an L,_ Wonwoo thinks), finding those oysters and their pearl in that muddy looking patch that Wonwoo thought was dying…

            That same feeling seeps into him all at once—that feeling of dread, of not knowing what’s coming next but knowing it won’t be good. He sits up in his chair, grasping onto the arms. He looks around himself, scans the other side of the pool. Why does it suddenly seem so much darker in this room?

            Behind him, he swears he hears a camera click.

            He’s out of his chair as fast as he can, spinning around to finally catch Wonho this time, to rip the camera from his hands and smash it to the ground or toss it into the water, to say, _It’s over. You can’t do this to us anymore. We win._

            But Wonho isn’t there. A woman is staring at him. He can see the word in her head through her cautious eyes: _foreigner._ She pulls her towel-wrapped son close against her legs, keeping him away in case Wonwoo might be crazy.

            Maybe Wonwoo is going crazy.

            “Sir, are you all right?” she asks.

            Wonwoo swallows and bows accidentally, answering in English. “I—I’m fine. I apologize. Thank you.”

            The woman looks him up and down, then ushers her son away.

            Wonwoo takes a deep breath and turns back around. He looks at Mingyu, still swimming laps, unaware of anything happening.

            But he’ll know later. Wonwoo already knows they’ll be getting another picture today, and there’s nothing he can do. He wasn’t quick enough, alert enough. He didn’t catch Wonho this time or any time.

            He only hopes Mingyu will be okay.

            A few other people are looking at him still. He considers putting his hood up, but leaves it. They don’t matter. Mingyu is all that matters.

            He sits back down in his chair and doesn’t take his eyes off of the person he loves.

 

…

 

Mingyu is so happy when they get home that Wonwoo has almost forgotten about what happened at the pool.

            Mingyu kept grinning, kissing his cheek, thanking him over and over on their cab ride back to the apartment. Wonwoo kept saying of course, anything to make him happy, and Mingyu just kept smiling, and wasn’t that all Wonwoo really wanted anyway? Mingyu held his hand too tight again as they walked into the building, and in the elevator Mingyu started kissing his mouth instead, and Wonwoo had to physically pull away when they reached their floor.

            And now Mingyu is dragging him down the hallway digging the keys out of Wonwoo’s back pocket, unlocking the door and shoving it open before bolting it behind them and throwing the keys onto the coffee table, where they slide off onto the floor. He takes no notice, and kisses Wonwoo again.

            Wonwoo hums against his mouth. “Mingyu—I’m—I’m glad you’re happy.”

            Mingyu kisses him again then says, “I feel so good. Thank you again so much, Wonwoo. God, I needed that so badly. I need you. I want you right now.”

            And then Wonwoo can’t even say anything or think anything because Mingyu pushes him backward and down onto the couch and climbs into his lap.

 

“Now we both smell like chlorine,” Mingyu says, smiling against Wonwoo’s skin as they lie there on the sofa together. He turns his head and kisses Wonwoo’s chest before settling back down again.

            Wonwoo smiles and strokes Mingyu’s back under his shirt. It’s the only item that didn’t make it off besides their socks—their shoes, bottoms, Mingyu’s jacket, and Wonwoo’s shirt and hoodie lie in a heap on the floor. “I don’t mind,” he says. “I’m just glad you’re happy.”

            Mingyu giggles and rests his chin on Wonwoo’s chest, looking up at him. “Sorry I attacked you. Maybe I was a little bit too happy?”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “Never.”

            Mingyu laughs again. “That’s good. Remember our first night here when you asked me why I wanted to?”

            Their first night here, when things were still okay. “Yeah,” Wonwoo says. “You said because you like to. And that you like me.”

            Mingyu smiles and his eyes close gently, remembering. “Mmm. I really really like you.”

            Wonwoo keeps stroking Mingyu’s back, feeling the dip of his spine under his fingertips. “I also remember you telling me the same thing for your job,” he says.

            And then he pauses. Why did he say that? That probably sounded really rude—like he was saying something offhand about the nature of Mingyu’s job and the fact that he does it because he likes it. Why would that just come out of his mouth like that? He hopes he didn’t hurt Mingyu’s feelings.

            Mingyu blinks up at him again. “Yeah. I did, didn’t I.”

            Wonwoo blinks back, then clears his throat. “I…”

            But Mingyu says, “You can say it, Wonwoo. I know you’ve been thinking it.”

            Has he? Has he really been thinking about that? He can’t remember doing it, but he’s sure it’s happened more than once before. Mingyu’s job is sex, and doing that with lots of different people. And Wonwoo knows that Mingyu likes sex—how could he not know that by now?—and that he likes his job in general. But…maybe when Wonwoo said that was as good an answer as any, he wasn’t being fully honest. Well, it’s not that he wasn’t being honest—he was at the time, before he knew he and Mingyu were going to be like they are now, so close and actually in love with each other. Things are different now than they were back then. So maybe he has been thinking about it for a while. Maybe there’s some part of him that lied before—maybe he _is_ a little bit jealous.

            Mingyu is too good at reading him.

            He sighs and says, “Honest?”

            Mingyu nods, his chin squished against Wonwoo’s chest.

            Wonwoo says, “I don’t want you to do that job anymore.”

            Mingyu just looks at him, not saying anything, no particular expression on his face besides his curious big eyes. “It’s been my life for years, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo sighs again. “I know.”

            “What else am I supposed to do?” Mingyu tilts his head when he says it, like he really does wonder. For some reason, Mingyu doesn’t seem mad at Wonwoo at all.

            Wonwoo shrugs and says, “Well…I don’t know. I run a very large corporation. I’m sure I could find you something.”

            Mingyu tilts his head the other way. “You could?”

            “Sure,” Wonwoo says. “Tell me your skill sets.”

            Mingyu looks down and hums like he’s really thinking. “Um…I can fuck really well.”

            Wonwoo nods seriously. “Yes, I think that will definitely help you in an office setting.”

            Mingyu stares at him a little longer, and then they both laugh out loud. Wonwoo sits them up and kisses Mingyu gently. “You’re really not upset with me?”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “I get it. Why would you want your boyfriend sleeping with a bunch of other guys all the time?”

            Wonwoo is thankful that Mingyu understands. He nods and crosses his arms. “You’re right. I don’t mean to sound possessive, but I love you too much to let anyone else have you right about now.”

            Mingyu lifts a teasing eyebrow. “That’s very possessive, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo chuckles. “I know. But you’ll have to just face the fact that you’re going to have to deal with me loving you whether you like it or not. You’re too easy to love, and impossible to stop loving.”

            Mingyu smiles and kisses him again. He says softly, “Woe is me.”

            Wonwoo touches the tip of his pinky to Mingyu’s nose. “Really though. Any training at all?”

            Mingyu sighs and shakes his head. “There’s the problem. Remember when I told you I tried like six different jobs? That’s because I left them all because I suck. I even got fired from one.”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue. “You don’t suck. You just haven’t found your niche yet.” Mingyu shrugs again, and Wonwoo has to lift his chin. “But it’s all right. You have an obviously stunning face and a charismatic disposition. I bet we could put you in marketing. Or HR. A hiring position maybe. Are you a good judge of character?”

            “Mmm…” Mingyu smiles. “Well, I was pretty right about you right away. Since I pretty much liked you from the second we met. And then I went crazy and pushed you away but—”

            “Mingyu.”

            “—but that was because I knew I loved you.” He grins. “The point is, I had you pinned down right away. So yes maybe?”

            Wonwoo laughs again. “Quite the answer. But I believe you. I, on the other hand, am not the best judge of character and am always looking for people who are. We’ll test you out. If that’s something you ever want to do.”

            Mingyu smiles and nods. “Okay.”

            It strikes Wonwoo as a somewhat odd conversation to be suddenly having, but Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind. It’s not wrong for them to want to have a future together, he thinks, and if Mingyu is going to be with him and is going to be quitting his job with Apodis, he’s going to need something else to do besides sit inside the house or the office while Wonwoo works. He thinks maybe they might have even had this conversation a little bit sooner.

            Of course, this is all supposing they can figure out this thing with—

            “I had a bad feeling about Wonho right away, if that says anything,” Mingyu says.

            Wonwoo puts his hand on Mingyu’s leg. “Baby.”

            Mingyu smiles again. “You haven’t called me that all day. I missed it. Thank you again, Wonwoo. I know I have to stop thanking you but you really made me feel better today by taking me swimming. Thank you and I love you.”

            Wonwoo kisses his nose. And then he thinks about earlier today, and he leans back and his own smile fades. “Mingyu, there’s something I have to tell you.”

            Mingyu tilts his head. “What?”

            “Earlier today…” Wonwoo sighs and looks of to the side, shaking his head. “While you were swimming, I felt him there. I swear I heard a camera and I stood up and—”

            “Did you see him?” Mingyu’s eyes are huge, intense.

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “He wasn’t there. It was like it never happened, like it was all in my head. This mother looked at me like I was going to steal her kid.” He laughs humorlessly. “But I know it. I know he was there. I just…wanted to warn you.”

            “That another one’s coming,” Mingyu says. Wonwoo nods. Mingyu takes a deep breath and shrugs. “Fine. Whatever. It’s becoming typical now. After those candies last night, I don’t know if he could do much worse.”

            Wonwoo wants to think that Mingyu is right, that Wonho can’t possibly have anything else up his sleeve for them. But as much as he wants it, he knows it’s probably wrong. He says, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

            Mingyu does an unfortunately forced smile. “So we should just enjoy ourselves until it gets here, right?”

            On cue, the envelope slips under the front door onto the hardwood. Mingyu looks at it, then stands to go get it.

            Wonwoo just sighs and watches him, seemingly unafraid now, or very good at hiding it. Acceptance really is where they’re at. But when Mingyu brings the envelope back to the sofa and hands it to him instead of opening it himself, Wonwoo knows he isn’t completely numb just yet.

            Wonwoo pulls out their third Polaroid photo, this time of Mingyu in the water, from the same angle that Wonwoo had view of from where he was sitting. “There it is,” Wonwoo says.

            “What’s the note?” Mingyu asks.

            Wonwoo turns it over and reads.

 

_I’ve always thought you had a gorgeous body. The water is your palace. Xx_

            “…your palace,” Wonwoo whispers.

            “What?”

            “God fucking…”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “What is it. Wonwoo what is it.”

            Wonwoo's jaw clenches almost painfully. “He followed us in. I knew he was there but he fucking _followed us in_. He was right fucking behind us. Why can’t I—why can’t I even realize it? Why can’t I keep him away from you?”

            Mingyu frowns and takes the photo out of Wonwoo’s hands, putting it back in the envelope and standing up, stepping into his pants. “No. No, Wonwoo, we’re not doing this today. Back of the closet?”

            Wonwoo blinks up at him. He nods.

            Mingyu’s voice fades slightly as he goes to their room. “We’re not doing this after such a good day. I’m not giving up my time tonight to him. I want to be with you.” He comes back out without the envelope and stands on the other side of the couch looking at Wonwoo, hands on his hips. “We’re going to not cry, and we’re going to sit down and watch a movie and we’re not going to talk about him or this or anything having to do with it, and we’re going to hold hands and we’re going to kiss and we’re going to be happy and in love with each other because that’s the last thing he wants. That’s what we’re doing tonight, Wonwoo. Is that okay?”

            He breathes heavily when he finishes speaking, and his lower lip trembles with the same amount of nerves he worked up when he confessed to Wonwoo that he loved him, but a different kind, for a different reason.

            Wonwoo nods again, unsure what to say. Mingyu has had nearly the full spectrum of reactions so far—fear, sadness, anger, now dismissal. There’s only one reaction left that Wonwoo can think of, and he hopes that it will never come to that point.

            He just nods and says, “Yes, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu takes a quick breath, shifts on his feet, and says, “Are you in love with me, Jeon Wonwoo?”

            Wonwoo swallows, his throat very dry. “I am madly in love with you, Kim Mingyu.”

            Mingyu chews his lip, and he nods, and he comes back to sit next to Wonwoo on the couch, turning on the TV. Wonwoo reaches for his pants and shirt on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt somehow very sad while writing this. I recently had terrible nostalgia for the first book, for how bright and happy it was, even with its sad parts—just like Wonwoo did. I want that for them again.  
> I’m so sorry I was blocked for so long on this chapter. Should be better next time!! Only two left...


	12. October 7; I Could Never

They’ve been going out a lot more—every day since then. Mingyu randomly said that he wanted to look through those things at the top of the Empire State Building, and when Wonwoo asked if he was sure he wanted to go out again, Mingyu made a weird face at him and said obviously, why wouldn’t he, that it’s a once in a lifetime thing. Wonwoo himself has been three times, but he wasn’t going to say that or no to Mingyu. Another day they spent a few hours on the High Line, and Wonwoo read the rest of _Great Expectations_ to Mingyu while he picked all the reds and blues out of a bag of sour candy. They went to the Central Park Zoo, and Mingyu talked a lot about the island and the different species of birds and insects there. “One landed on you while we were hiking,” he told Wonwoo with a giggle, and Wonwoo could only look at the vacancy behind the happiness in Mingyu’s eyes and say, “Did it.”

            Because Wonwoo knows what this is. This is Mingyu’s wall, his attempt to block Wonho out, or push him away. If he can’t fight Wonho directly, he’ll fight what Wonho is doing to them. But while Wonwoo would never say it out loud and hardly allows himself to think about it either, he knows it’s only a façade. Deep down, nothing has changed, and Mingyu doesn’t really feel better, and his fear isn’t really gone. It’s not that his happiness is entirely superficial—they really are having a good time together, and they are happy they’re with each other. But Mingyu isn’t all _there_ when they’re looking out at the city or watching the sea lions play in the water like Mingyu used to do almost every day. He’s being defensive by not being defensive—refusing to look around, refusing to acknowledge the fact that Wonho might be in the same room as them at any moment. Wonwoo is now forced to be alert for the both of them.

            They’ve only had enough luck to have not gotten any messages or photos or gifts from Wonho in almost a week. And for almost a week, Wonwoo has hardly slept, imagining his doorbell ringing, or knocking on the door, even hearing the soft sound of an envelope sliding on the floor in his own head. At night Mingyu rests next to him while he lies awake waiting for the next one. Sometimes, when he looks over at Mingyu, he’s frowning in his sleep.

            There’s no changing it, though. Not by Wonwoo. Something else is going to have to break this in Mingyu. _Someone_ , Wonwoo knows, and it’ll either be Mingyu himself, or Wonho. At night, Wonwoo thinks a lot about that, too.

            But he shouldn’t be thinking about it now, trying to do Mingyu’s eyeliner.

            “Ah—Wonwoo, are you trying to draw on my actual eye?”

            Wonwoo blinks at him and tends to the stray brown smudge on the corner of Mingyu’s lash line. “Sorry.”

            Mingyu smiles, a little too widely. “Don’t think so much, Wonwoo. You know you have that habit.”

            Wonwoo decides to push away his thoughts and his constant guilt and play along with Mingyu. He smiles too. “I know. Sorry, baby.”

            “I want to be pretty today because we’re doing something extra special that I found all by myself.”

            Wonwoo finishes his eyeliner and leans back to look at him. He’s done, looking just as gorgeous as usual save for the darkness under his eyes that wasn’t there before. “You’re pretty every day, Mingyu. What are we doing?”

            Mingyu taps his hands on his thighs and looks sideways. “Mmm…just something.” He pauses then adds, “Since you made me embarrassed in public, now I’ll do the same to you.”

            Wonwoo clicks his tongue, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re still on that orange hair thing? It looked good, and the blonde looks good now.”

            Mingyu smiles cutely and stands, kissing Wonwoo’s cheek. “Sure. It’ll look great where we’re going today.” He walks out of the bathroom.

            Wonwoo sighs and follows him, turning off the light. “Where are you taking me?”

            “Just a little place we passed a while ago.” He picks up his coat from the back of one of the dining table chairs and holds a hand out for Wonwoo like Wonwoo did for him. “It’s a surprise. You’ll love it.” He wiggles his fingers.

            Wonwoo groans like he’s pouting, and it almost feels like he really is. Maybe faking it does make it a little bit real. And pouting is better than despair. He goes to Mingyu and takes his hand. “Fine. Embarrass me.”

 

…

 

“Ah—Wonwoo, are you actually trying to trip me?”

            Mingyu says it loud enough that the other couples next to them can hear, and Wonwoo is embarrassed even though they likely don’t speak Korean. Wonwoo looks around, then down at the floor between them where he stepped on Mingyu’s toes for the fifth time. “Sorry sorry.”

            “Everything going well?” the dance instructor asks, gliding over to them.

            Mingyu smiles at him. “Yes, thank you,” he says in English.

            “I’m just new to this,” Wonwoo says, still not entirely sure where even his hands are supposed to go.

            “Ah. Well, he’s doing very well. Maybe take his lead,” the instructor says to Wonwoo, nodding at Mingyu with a professionally whitened grin.

            Wonwoo smiles and nods, and looks back at Mingyu with a straight face. Mingyu laughs. “What did he say?”

            Wonwoo tries to do the right steps to the music with Mingyu, stiff and stuttering every other measure. “He said that I look like a penguin with one foot.”

            Mingyu giggles and shakes his head. “I’m not _that_ bad at English, Wonwoo. It’s fine. You just need to relax.”

            Even if they weren’t being stalked, Wonwoo still wouldn’t be able to relax. “How are you good at this, too?” he asks.

            Mingyu grins, taking Wonwoo’s hand tightly and trying to lead him. “I’ve spent almost a year on an island with Soonyoung.”

            Wonwoo remembers now: _Oh, yeah. Soonyoung loves to dance. If you mention it in front of him he will insist on teaching you something._ Another part of Mingyu’s happy life that Wonwoo pulled him away from. But—he’s faking it, right?

            He smiles and nods again, a good reaction to everything today. “True. I wouldn’t expect him to know ballroom dancing.”

            “Oh, he knows everything,” Mingyu says. “He can even do some taekwondo sort of stuff. He says he was a black belt champion when he was younger. Left foot, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo stutters with his right foot again, nearly stepping on Mingyu’s shoe for a sixth time, and forces his left foot forward.

            “Good. You’re going to go left, forward, right, back. You can follow a beat, right?”

            Wonwoo nods, staring down at their feet. “Maybe.”

            “Look at me.”

            Wonwoo gazes up at Mingyu, and he looks as beautiful as ever in the low light of the room they’re in. Something in Wonwoo’s brain says that he will never let anything ruin that beauty, and something else in there fights it and tells it that there’s nothing they can do anymore. He smiles gently. “Okay.”

            “Feel it, don’t think it,” Mingyu says. “Follow me, next measure. Five, six, seven, and, left…” He smiles as Wonwoo gets the steps right for the first time. “See? Not bad.”

            Wonwoo starts to do the wrong step, but realizes it this time and fixes it, falling into a rhythm that seems all at once fairly slow. He looks into Mingyu’s eyes and says, “Oh.”

            Mingyu smiles gently. “Mhm. Now just listen to the music and don’t stop looking at me.”

            So Wonwoo does. He repeats the same four steps, and it feels not as awkward as it felt before, and somehow it seems almost graceful with Mingyu there holding his hand. After a while Mingyu’s other hand slips down Wonwoo’s side and to his waist, pulling him closer. He leans near to Wonwoo’s ear and says quietly, “I bet you’d like to dip me, hm?”

            Wonwoo smiles, closing his eyes at the softness of Mingyu’s voice. It almost makes him forget how strung up he is about life right now. Almost. He hums and says, “If I wouldn’t drop you.”

            Mingyu laughs softly. “That’s okay. You’re doing well, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo just hums again, letting his body rest close to Mingyu’s, listening to Mingyu’s voice.

            All of a sudden Mingyu spins him around and pulls him up against his chest, holding Wonwoo’s hands in his against Wonwoo’s lower stomach. Wonwoo gasps and opens his eyes, and Mingyu hushes him while he S-curves their hips together with the music before gently turning Wonwoo back around and taking his hand again.

            “Mingyu,” Wonwoo whispers.

            “You always look at me that way,” Mingyu says.

            “What way?”

            “That way. Like I…” He smiles and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Just that way.” He laughs so quietly and says, “Kiss me.”

            “Well done,” the instructor says, coming over to them.

            Mingyu thanks him again, and when he walks away he looks back at Wonwoo.

            Wonwoo smiles, embarrassed, and neither of them leans in.

            “Last one and then we’ll change to something new!” the dance instructor calls out.

            To Wonwoo, it seems very fitting. He glances around the room, just in case.

 

…

 

Another box this time, aligned with the door. Wonwoo considers turning back around and going downstairs to the front desk and cancelling his lease and moving his apartment across the city or the world.

            Mingyu squeezes his hand and says, “Come on.”

            He picks up the box while Wonwoo unlocks the door.

            Mingyu sits down on the couch and smiles at him, the box in his lap. “Get it over with?”

            Wonwoo figures that would be fine. He sits down next to him.

            Inside the box is a teddy bear. Mingyu pulls it out and holds it in front of him. On the left side of the bear is a heart-shaped patch, and on the patch is stitching in the shape of a pair of scissors. The note that Wonwoo unties from the bear’s foot says

 

_My heart is yours. Xx_

            “Ahh,” Mingyu says, and gets up to go to the kitchen to find scissors. He comes back, takes the bear from Wonwoo’s hands after he picked it up to look, holds it by the neck, and cuts a gash through the bear’s stomach. He digs his hand in, sending white stuffing floating to the floor, and comes out with a USB drive. “Computer?” he asks, dropping the mutilated bear to the ground.

            Wonwoo nods and brings Mingyu to the desk in his room, dragging a chair from the kitchen with him. They sit down and Wonwoo plugs in the USB, clicking open the audio file that is the disk’s only contents.

            After loading for a moment, it’s a little bit muffled, but still obvious.

            “— _so badly. I need you. I want you right now._ ”

            On the recording, Wonwoo makes a surprised noise as Mingyu shoves him onto the couch. “ _Mingyu—ah…_ ”

            Their lips, breaking apart from each other with a sloppy noise. Mingyu’s voice, low and breathy: “ _I’m going to ride you now. Nice and slow. Would you like that?_ ”

            “ _Yes_.” A groan, when Mingyu ground his hips down. “ _Mingyu…_ ”

            The sounds of both pairs of their pants being pulled off in haste by Mingyu, buttons clinking onto the floor. The sound of the coffee table drawer being opened. A small hushed moan from Wonwoo when Mingyu got him ready. And soon after another longer, louder moan as Mingyu sat himself in Wonwoo’s lap.

            As the noises continue increasing in volume, Wonwoo glances at the time running on the recording. There’s still over seven minutes left.

            But Mingyu says evenly, “Turn it off.”

            Wonwoo looks over at him. Mingyu is staring blankly at the screen, eyes glazed. “Okay,” Wonwoo says. He reaches for the keyboard.

            “ _Turn it off!_ ”

            Wonwoo jumps and pulls the USB from the computer. An error message pops up on the screen and he just closes the laptop. He puts the USB down on the table. “Mingyu.”

            But Mingyu is slumping in his seat. His skin is an ashy pale color. Tears are rolling from between his lashes and Wonwoo isn’t sure if he even realizes it. Mingyu wheezes out, “ _He was in our house_.”

            “Baby, I—I don’t think he was actually—”

            Mingyu shrieks, body contorting, “I don’t care, Wonwoo!” He opens his eyes and looks terribly sadly at Wonwoo, beginning to sob. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this, Wonwoo. Please _please_ do something. I’m going to go insane.”

            “Oh my god. Mingyu.” Wonwoo gets up and wraps his arms around Mingyu, pulling him to his feet. Mingyu is weak, heavy in his arms, and Wonwoo struggles to get him to the bed. Wonwoo lays him down, and Mingyu sinks limp onto the sheets in a puddle of limbs and tears.

            Wonwoo sits on his knees next to him and watches him cry.

            Here is the final reaction: the breakdown. Mingyu has finally cracked, and not just the façade he’s held up for a few days. Everything that Mingyu has been holding back since Wonho sent them that rose a month ago has finally torn free. Wonwoo knew this was inevitable, but he just didn’t know it would happen this way. Mingyu has already had enough trauma in his life because of Wonho. He doesn’t need any more.

            But there is _nothing_ Wonwoo can do. He’s been over it in his head a hundred times. Wonho hasn’t threatened them, Wonho doesn’t come near them—at least hasn’t shown his face, save for that one dinner. Wonho was apparently in their house, or, Wonwoo thinks, somehow planted something on them (by Wonwoo’s logic, probably on him; he thinks the hood of his jacket would have made a great unnoticeable place to put a tiny speaker) but there’s no proof of that unless he can find the bug, probably long dead in the washer by now anyway. And with no address or postage, and the only delivery person they ever saw a total stranger, they can’t even prove that these things Wonho sends are from him. Wonwoo wouldn’t even be surprised if they found out that each gift was completely devoid of fingerprints. They have nothing.

            All he can say is, “Mingyu. Please don’t.”

            Mingyu gives a choked sob. “W-Wonwoo. What are we supposed to do? He was here!” He coughs and swallows thickly. “Why won’t he just _fucking leave? I don’t love him!_ ” he shouts at Wonwoo, looking desperately into his eyes as if Wonwoo wouldn’t believe him.

            Wonwoo grasps his hand probably too tightly. “I know. I know.”

            Mingyu sobs again and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand like he always does, makeup smearing on his cheekbones. He coughs again and rolls toward Wonwoo, his face disappearing in the dark space between Wonwoo’s knees. “I can’t do this,” he says again, muffled. “I can’t do this anymore.”

            Wonwoo feels a terrible pain in his chest. So that’s it then. Mingyu wants to go now. Wonwoo can’t blame him, since he couldn’t do anything to stop this mess they’re in. It’s what Mingyu wants, and what’s best for him, and so Wonwoo will do it. The island is the safest place for Mingyu, and Wonwoo will have to get over the fact that he can’t be there with him. He wants to feel horrible about it, but he can’t right now with how Mingyu is feeling. It wouldn’t be fair for Wonwoo to feel.

            So he says as calmly as he can, “I understand, Mingyu. I’ll set up your flight today and I’ll call Jihoon to take you back to—”

            Mingyu scrambles to his knees incredibly quickly, shoving into Wonwoo’s airspace, hands propped and shaking on Wonwoo’s thighs. “ _No_. No please. Don’t leave me. Don’t send me away.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head and holds Mingyu’s face.

            Mingyu grasps one of Wonwoo’s hands and presses it firmly against his wet cheek, afraid that Wonwoo might let go.

            Wonwoo brushes his thumbs along Mingyu’s cheekbones like he always does, wiping stray tears. “Oh…no. Mingyu, I—I thought that was what you wanted.”

            Mingyu sniffs and shakes his head fast. “No. No, I can’t go through this and lose you too. Please, Wonwoo. Don’t make me go.”

            How could Wonwoo ever do that? He could never send Mingyu away against his will—one, because Mingyu is too headstrong, and two, because if Mingyu doesn’t want to leave then Wonwoo doesn’t want him to either. He just can’t believe that Mingyu isn’t running for his life. Even with these completely awful circumstances that would never have happened had Mingyu never come here, Mingyu still wants to stay with him. Even as Wonho continues to try to systematically control, manipulate, and destroy them, Mingyu still wants to stay.

            But no—and this is the worst of it all—Mingyu _needs_ to stay. The idea of leaving Wonwoo terrifies Mingyu, and that is something very bad. Of course Wonwoo wants their relationship to be solid forever, but a need to be with him is another step backwards for Mingyu. Wonwoo has known from the start that Mingyu is immature in certain ways, and that he has some growing up to do. Mingyu has a dependency problem—an insecure attachment to whomever it is that’s taking care of him at the time, and it’s probably even worse now that he’s in love with Wonwoo, too. He needs to be able to rely on _himself_ , his own strength and his own independence to get through things, to attain his personal needs. That is what really has to be fixed. That was why Wonwoo ever brought him here in the first place—to help him see life beyond the island where he was taken care of for so long when he needed it most, and that he could still trust the rest of the world too. But their life right now is making that essentially impossible. Wonwoo can hardly believe that Mingyu trusts anything _besides_ the island at this point, including him.

            But if Mingyu is in fact choosing to stay, then that means Wonwoo can’t just stop trying to take care of him, no matter how much Mingyu needs to learn to take care of himself. He _has_ to figure it out. He has to protect Mingyu, whatever it takes. Whatever that even is.

            “Never,” Wonwoo says, looking into Mingyu’s shining eyes. “I could never.”

            Mingyu sighs heavily, eyes slipping closed. “Wonwoo.”

            “I’ll fix it, Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, letting another hollow promise pass through his lips. But this time, he is determined to make it real.

            “I need this to be over,” Mingyu says.

            “Me too, Mingyu. I’ll…” What plan could he possibly have? If he had one, he would have done it already, a month ago. “I’ll see what I can do.”

            Mingyu nods and catches his breath. “Okay.”

            He leans back onto his heels, then seems to decide to lie down instead, melting onto the sheets on his side. Wonwoo watches him gather his sleeves in his fists, creating cute little paws, tucking them up by his chest. Mingyu hasn’t done that since Wonho met them in the restaurant.

            Mingyu says, “Please can you sing to me?”

            Wonwoo blinks down at Mingyu’s hands, unable to take his eyes away. “I’m…not very good—”

            “Please. I need it.”

            And then Wonwoo remembers Jeonghan. He remembers the day he told Mingyu he wanted to stay another week, walking into the house after talking to Jisoo on the beach and hearing a soft melody coming from Mingyu’s bedroom. That was the first day Wonwoo had seen Mingyu truly upset. And now he knows why Jeonghan was singing to him.

            This can’t go on forever. Mingyu has to grow up. But now is not the time to start pushing him to do so.

            Wonwoo nods, and he starts stroking Mingyu’s hair.

 

_neo eobsi himdeureosseo duryeoweosseo_

_hunjaraneun saengake museoweoseo_

_meongcheongicheoreom siganman bonaeda_

_sigani ganeun juldo mollasseo…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for the chaser...


	13. October 13; 46 and 7

Mingyu has been locked inside the apartment for four days straight.

            It’s hazy now. Things move slowly, quietly. What used to be a sharp and pretty life together has become pages turning weakly in a book, waiting for the plot to change, waiting for something better to happen to them. A sort of learned helplessness has settled over Mingyu, and it’s catching. Wonwoo has never felt so powerless in his life.

            Mingyu says he’s fine, that he’s getting better, that he overreacted. Of course Wonwoo tells him that he didn’t and that he has every right to be pissed off and terrified, but Mingyu insists with the most numb expression Wonwoo has ever had to witness that everything is just fine. Do you need anything, Mingyu, Wonwoo will ask. No, I’m fine. I’m stopping by a restaurant on my way back from work if you want some dinner. No, I’m fine. I think I’ll spend all night at my office and sleep hanging upside down from my desk if you want to join me. No, I’m fine. I love you. I love you too.

            Always sitting somewhere, always with his hands balled into fists against his body, the ends of his shirtsleeves in perpetual wrinkles.

            Something is going to give.

 

…

 

“We have to get groceries,” Wonwoo says, staring at the TV screen. The TV isn’t on.

            Mingyu nods next to him, holding his hand. “Yeah.”

            “Is it Tuesday?” Wonwoo asks.

            Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t know.”

            Wonwoo’s phone is on the coffee table. It’s too far away to reach.

            But it rings, and Wonwoo has to sit up and get it. “Hello?

            “Tonight?

            “Yeah. Got it.

            “Yeah, sure.

            “See you.”

            Mingyu lifts his eyebrows at him like he’s interested, but his eyes don’t change.

            “Wooseok,” Wonwoo says. “There’s a meeting tonight with one of our suppliers from Jeju who’s just landed. I have to go pretty soon.”

            Mingyu blinks at him and nods. “All right.”

            Wonwoo puts his hand on his leg. “Do you want to come and wait in my office?”

            Mingyu shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.”

            It’s not enough this time. Wonwoo needs Mingyu to be present to hear him. He softens his voice a little. “Mingyu. Hey.”

            Mingyu’s eyes focus in on his, and they don’t exactly brighten, but they seem to clear a little bit. “Yeah?”

            “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me and wait in my office during my meeting?”

            Mingyu chews on his lip and shakes his head. “No. I just want to stay home.”

            “It’s really no problem at all,” Wonwoo says.

            Mingyu nods. “I know. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

            Wonwoo nods. He does wish Mingyu would come with him, but he also knows that Mingyu is at least somewhat comfortable here. He shouldn’t be gone long, and maybe when he gets home they can make dinner together, if Mingyu wants to. Maybe they can call everybody and chat for a while. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

            Mingyu nods again, and Wonwoo gets up from the sofa and finds his coat and a few things from his desk for work.

            He comes back and Mingyu is in the same place, of course. He goes to him and takes his hand again. “Don’t answer the door.”

            Mingyu nods. “I won’t.”

            “I promise I’ll be back by eight okay? Just hang out here and watch a movie or something.” Of course. What else is Mingyu going to do?

            Mingyu makes his lips curve up, but it’s hardly a smile. “Okay. Bye, Wonwoo.”

            Wonwoo leans down and gives him a kiss. He squeezes Mingyu’s hand as their lips touch, and then he pulls away and starts for the door.

            Mingyu blinks, brings his fingers to his lips momentarily, and then stands up. “Wonwoo—wait.”

            Wonwoo turns around, and Mingyu comes nearly running to him. He kisses Wonwoo again, and Wonwoo brings his hands to Mingyu’s face, feeling his hair under his fingertips, the way Mingyu’s hand rests against his chest, fingers pressing against his skin through the fabric of his shirt. Mingyu kisses him like he hasn’t kissed him in days, and Wonwoo wants to call Wooseok back and say he really can’t make it tonight, that he has someone he needs to stand in front of the door with all night just so he can kiss him like this.

            Mingyu pulls away and immediately bites down on his lip before saying, “Bye Wonwoo. Get home safely.”

            Wonwoo gazes into Mingyu’s eyes, and they are clearer now, and they are brighter, though that may just be because they’re glassy. He kisses Mingyu one more time and says, “I will. I promise.”

            Mingyu nods a final time, and Wonwoo leaves the apartment. Mingyu locks the door behind him.

 

Mingyu goes to the fridge an hour later. He opens the door and realizes that they really do need groceries. He’s starving—he figures he probably hasn’t eaten much for a while now—but there’s almost no food.

            He shuts the fridge and goes back to the sofa, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. He’s wearing his favorite white and yellow striped socks, but…they look kind of dull. He tucks his feet in and looks closer, propping his chin on his knees, and he realizes now that he’s been wearing these socks for four days. He blinks at them, and then he looks around the apartment. He holds out the front of his sweater and smells the fabric, and it smells like him and not the laundry detergent Wonwoo buys. It doesn’t smell awful, so he must have showered…right? Has he really been this out of it?

            He gets up and goes into their bathroom, flicking on the light and looking at himself in the mirror. It’s not terrible, but Jesus does he have some dark circles. His skin seems colorless too, but maybe that’s just New York.

            He frowns at himself. He’s stupid. Why is he such a baby all the time? Wonwoo does literally everything he asks of him, and he can’t even get off the couch for four days. It was just a recording. Why does he care so much? And his roots are growing out and he really needs to go back—

            He shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t even think straight now. What is his problem?

            He can’t just stay inside forever. Wonwoo has been so strong for him this whole time, and he has done nothing but lean on Wonwoo instead of trying to hold himself up. He knows he shouldn’t rely on Wonwoo for everything, even if sometimes it feels like Wonwoo is all the support he’ll ever need. He knows Wonwoo is tired. Wonwoo is probably tired of taking care of him, and even more tired because he can’t sleep half the time now. And look at him—still going to work because he’s a good hardworking person who doesn’t need to be taken care of and who has an actual goal in life. Mingyu doesn’t do _anything_. He needs to be able to do things, and on his own, too.

            He blinks at himself again, his train of thought slipping away.

            Besides, he’s hungry. He’ll just go get food while Wonwoo is gone. He goes to Wonwoo’s desk and grabs a piece of paper and a pen.

 

The little man turns white and he crosses the street at 46 and 5th, hands in his pockets in the cold. He called into a restaurant a few minutes ago and he’ll be there soon to pick up the food and take it back. It’s not homemade, but it’ll at least be available right when Wonwoo walks in the door. Maybe that’s a good start to doing things on his own.

            He crosses 6th street, passing a bunch of little stores. There’s a flower shop, and the smell wafts out as a woman exits the door. It smells cloyingly sweet, and Mingyu scrunches up his nose. He looks in the window and there’s a display of red and black roses, just one dollar each.

            He keeps walking. At 7th street, he just misses the walk signal, and the crowd of people all make it across the road before him. He sighs and stands there waiting, watching cars go past in the dark.

            Someone behind him says, “Mingyu.”

            Things seem to snap back into focus then, and the headlights of a passing car seem too bright. He squints, and he does not turn around. _What is he doing_. Wonwoo told him to not open the door, stay inside. He’s been stuck in some stupor for _days_ and now here he is. And here _he_ is, and Wonwoo isn’t here to protect him anymore.

            He really is stupid.

            His hands clench into terrified fists in his pockets.

            “Mingyu, turn around.”

            For some reason, Mingyu does.

            Wonho smiles at him genuinely from a few meters away, his hair reflecting the city lights in warped versions of their colors. “How are you, Mingyu? I thought we might run into each other again at some point. You look a little cold, hm?”

            Mingyu draws in a deep breath. The air chills his lungs. He says, “No, I’m fine.”

            Wonho keeps smiling and nods. “That’s good. You’ve changed your hair. I like it a lot.”

            Out of the corner of his eye, the little man turns white for 7th street, and Mingyu looks at it quickly.

            Wonho says, “Don’t start walking, Mingyu.”

            So Mingyu doesn’t. He turns back and he does as Wonho says, just like he used to. “Okay.”

            Wonho takes a step toward him. “What have you been up to in this city?”

            Mingyu says, “You know.”

            “Ah, I get it,” Wonho says with a chuckle. “This and that, right? Never a dull moment here.” He pauses then says, “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

            Mingyu doesn’t answer. The walk light turns red again.

            Wonho tisks. “Well, since you’re so shy. I got this new camera—one of those old style ones? I’ll tell you, the city looks really great in those Polaroids. I couldn’t stop taking pictures.”

            “That’s great,” Mingyu says, and wonders why.

            Wonho laughs again. “Yeah, it is. Where’s that friend of yours anyway? Wonwoo, right? How is he?”

            Mingyu clenches his jaw at the mention of Wonwoo's name. He hates hearing it from Wonho’s mouth. “You know his name,” he says, his voice shaky. “Don’t even try to disrespect him.”

            Wonho raises his eyebrows in mock surprise. “New York has changed you, Mingyu. What happened to that sweet thing I knew on the island?”

            Mingyu whispers, so quietly he almost can’t hear himself, “You killed him.”

            Wonho still grins. “You really were _so_ sweet, Mingyu. I remember I couldn’t take my hands off of you.”

            Mingyu remembers Wonho’s hands on him. Mingyu remembers how much it could hurt. He looks at the ground between them and says, “Please don’t talk about it.”

            Wonho tilts his head, seemingly concerned. “Are you okay, baby?”

            Mingyu winces. He would give anything for Wonwoo to be here right now. “D-don’t—call me that. Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?”

            Wonho clicks his tongue. “Ahh…all right. I guess you’ve caught me.” He smiles again, sheepishly, and rubs the back of his neck. “I guess I just wasn’t sure how to start and…you make me sort of nervous, you know?”

            Mingyu feels his chest squeezing in. He wants to run—all the way to Wonwoo’s office building if that’s what it takes—but he can’t get his legs to do anything but tremble.

            “The truth is,” Wonho says. He sighs and takes another step toward Mingyu. “Mingyu…I still love you.”

            Mingyu takes a step back, away from him. “No. You never loved me. You don’t treat someone you love that way.”

            “I was a fool back then,” Wonho says in a sickening sweet voice. He takes another step, and Mingyu takes another one back. “I miss you, Mingyu. I want to have you again.”

            Mingyu shakes his head rapidly. He has no idea what’s going on or what to do. He was such an idiot to leave the apartment. He stammers out whatever words come into his mind. “I don’t—I—I love someone else now. _Real, true_ love. I love him and he loves me a hundred times more. And I don’t love you and I never did. Seungkwan said—”

            “ _Fuck_ what Seungkwan said.” Mingyu startles at the volume of his voice. “Fuck what anyone said. And fuck whatever Wonwoo is telling you.”

            Another step forward, another step back. Mingyu approaches the edge of the sidewalk.

            He puts his hands out low in front of him, steadying himself, and as if he could push Wonho away with his will alone. “I don’t…”

            “What you have with him is nothing compared to what I can give you,” Wonho says. The smile has left both his face and his voice. “You know you belong to me. Don’t run from me, Mingyu.” Wonho raises his hand toward Mingyu, not a meter away.

            Mingyu cowers back. “Don’t touch me! Stop!” He steps back again and his heel catches on the concrete, nearly tripping him, but he keeps himself up. Tears are welling into his eyes, blurring his vision. Why did he ever go out alone when he knew Wonho was in the city, specifically following him? Why did he ever think this was a good idea, and that he could do this without Wonwoo here with him? That he could do _anything at all_ without Wonwoo? He should have waited for Wonwoo to get home. He _needs_ Wonwoo. Even before he knew him, he has always needed Wonwoo.

            His voice barely comes out. “Wonho. Don’t.”

            Wonho takes another step forward.

            Mingyu’s phone rings in his pocket.

 

…

 

Wonwoo unlocks the door and steps inside, saying, “The meeting ended early, Mingyu. And I have good news.” He turns and locks the door behind him, not hearing an answer. He smiles and starts to take his shoes off, figuring Mingyu is in the bedroom, maybe sleeping.

            There really is good news—or at least something that can help them out, if not cheer them up a little bit. One of his co-partners saw how off Wonwoo’s demeanor was during the meeting and met him afterwards, asking what was wrong, if he was okay and why he’d been taking so much time away from the office. Wonwoo explained some of it without going into detail, and his coworker was kind enough to suggest that he take a weeklong vacation. It would be unpaid, of course, but it’s not like that really matters to Wonwoo. What matters is Mingyu, and he knows that some time away from New York and away from Wonho will obviously be really good for them. Maybe while they’re away they can come up with some way to fix all this.

            He turns and sees the empty living room, and then spots the note on the coffee table. He frowns and goes to it quickly, not quite sure what he’s expecting to read on it.

 

_Went to get food :)_

Wonwoo sighs in relief. He’s not exactly glad that Mingyu left the apartment alone, but he is glad that this wasn’t a much longer note with something very different on it. And Mingyu did seem to feel a little better when he kissed him as he was leaving.

            He looks at the smiley face. Even the drawing doesn’t seem as happy as they usually are when Mingyu writes him notes. He figures the depression transfers.

            Hopefully he can cheer Mingyu up with the news of time away. He’ll call Mingyu and see how he is, tell him to get home quickly so they can get a head start on packing.

            He pulls his phone out of his coat pocket, then takes his coat off and drops it on the back of the couch. He unlocks the screen and an email comes through. It’s from Dokyun in Seoul, so he taps into it, figuring it has to do with the meeting that just happened. He scrolls through it for a moment and it’s about the new location in Thailand—nothing that can’t be looked at later, maybe while he’s lying in a beach chair and Mingyu is sipping a weird martini next to him.

            He goes into his contacts, taps Mingyu’s name, and holds the phone to his ear.

            The line picks up, and Wonwoo is smiling and ready to say hello and ask where Mingyu escaped to when he first hears in the background: “— _that call, Mingyu_.”

            Wonwoo knows the voice. It’s Wonho.

            Oh dear god.

            “Mingyu? Baby, where are you?”

            A sharp breath into the speaker. “Wonwoo? I’m—stop, Wonho!” Mingyu nearly shrieks it. “ _Get away from me!_ ”

            Wonwoo immediately picks his coat back up and heads for the door. “Mingyu, tell me where you are _right now_.”

            Mingyu sobs once. “W-Wonwoo, he’s—”

            There’s an incredibly loud screech of tires accompanied by a yelp from Mingyu. And then a thump, and then a crunch and skid as the phone Mingyu was holding hits the ground and slides away.

            Wonwoo is frozen. He stupidly thinks, _I can’t believe the phone is still on_ as he listens to a car alarm, the slam of a door, the distant whine of a little girl for her mother, and the shout for someone to call 911.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of Book Two, everyone.  
> Please, don't kill me.
> 
> I'm afraid of the third book--it's really daunting, because like an idiot I chose something I have no idea about as the main chunk of it... That said, a lot of it is written, and I hope you'll forgive me if it's incorrect.  
> Until then, thank you all so much for reading.  
> L


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